To want to shake her?

[hopeitsnottooouting]

So, really really hope this isn’t too outing.
One of my best friends is a so called “Instagram influencer”
She has around 30k followers and has got these over the past maybe 2 years.
I spent another play date with her yesterday basically ignoring me and ignoring her kids purely so she can post constantly on Instagram.
In the 4 hours I saw her she posted approx 25 times.
Anything from photos of the kids, to the menu, to videos describing the place, to photos showing the weather where we were, selfies of herself, photos of herself with forkfuls of food about to go in her mouth.
Because she has so many followers she’s invited to events maybe once a month, just parties or grand openings. She also gets a few freebies or samples a month that she’ll review.
I am in no way jealous of her, but I’m worried.
Her kids are getting neglected. In the 4 hours yesterday she barely spoke to them, lost them numerous times, left one with a dirty nappy for ages and basically dumped the child care of our 5 combined kids to me.
She’s ignoring her friends as she’s just sat on instagram.
She’s ignoring her husband and he’s threatening to leave her over her Instagram use.
You genuinely cannot even have a 5 minute conversation without her going “hang on a sec” and interrupting you to Instagram.
She is so so bloody boring.
Her house has gone downhill, there’s no clean clothes for the kids and it’s filthy.
She’s even cut family days short as there’s no 3G so she’s got no signal to post.
Apparently she needs to post every 10/15 mins to keep followers?
She is wrecking her whole family just to be popular on Instagram.
I just can’t be arsed to be around her, likewise most of her friends.
Why can’t she see what she’s missing out on right in front of her?

I feel sorry for her. It’s an addiction. She needs some help to change her life

Although I’m quite surprised she thinks she an influencer with 30k followers. Have a new found respect for my friend with 280k followers!

Her DC are lovely but so so quiet, as though they don't know how to interact with people and do their best to stay out of your way even when they're welcome to join in.

That is just so sad. Those poor children.

I've never seen an Instagram influencer with scruffy, dirty kids and a messy home.

Ah, Mumsnet’s favourite argument - ‘I haven’t seen it personally; therefore it doesn’t exist’.

YANBU. She's an absolute fanny.

peach only when the shoot is not about the kids. I guess then they would be styled to the max, that's the OP's point.

Hmmm... I spend a lot of time on insta, but then I have a business I promote through insta. If she isn't being paid, then it's not a job, so to spend that much time on it is sad really....

She needs to go to rehab. I wonder if that will become a thing? It truly is an addiction for some people

I cut myself off from a group of women who were like that. They earn no money or as far as I know get any freebies (but hope to) from posting their faces all day. They have become obsessed with it, to the point of referring to their 'fans' and making comments like 'They want to be us'🤢
It got to the point where they actually believe they are celebrities and would find any ludicrous and tenuous link to post their face. The worst bring one who spent a long time on st Patrick's day doing a green make up look even tho she isn't Irish and was going to work which was also non Irish or st Patrick related. The selfies were up by 9am, she later joked that her kid was late for school. The kid only ever gets taken to the pub. There are getting ready selfies. Outfit selfies AND the obligatory check in and wine glass post. Meanwhile kid is shoved somewhere with I pad, coke and crisps. He is head to toe Primark yet shes happy to spend £40 on a blusher. It is so sad.
They genuinely believe they are celebrities and the saddest thing is there are a number of followers who are vulnerable or who have mh or self esteem issues. They genuinely think they are their friends and ask for advice and join in whilst they are slaughtered behind the scenes. Some truely awful things get said about them. Get they are as nice as pie on social media. It's so fake and so sad. Peoples priorities are all so wrong nowadays.
You could have a word with your friend, but I doubt she will listen. If her children and husband aren't enough of an incentive to stop nothing will be. I hope she really enjoys her foot cream.

Whipsmart unfortunately i think you are absolutely right.

Dieu sums it up perfectly

Please review who she is and our NM'ers will shake her up for you

Reveal!

Her DC are lovely but so so quiet, as though they don't know how to interact with people and do their best to stay out of your way even when they're welcome to join in. I'm not sure this is sad, I mean, all kids are different. Mine are quite like this but it is just their personalities!

Oh well, it seems her husband is supporting her now by taking her photos. So maybe he's not going to leave her after all. You must find that reassuring at least.

Just the word “influencer” makes me want to punch something. It’s utterly ridiculous and so are the sheep who blindly follow them.

This breaks my heart. I have a very dear friend who is seriously ill and knows she won't be around much longer for her children, she is terrified of leaving them. Sit your friend down tell her she's wasting a very precious time in her life that some people would give up everything to have.

You need to do 2 things;

1. Show her this thread.
2. Show us her insta

Poor kids and poor DH.

Fucking 'influencers' my arse. Influence your children and family and stop with the faux life. Vain and selfish madam.

OP are you able, or do you even want to, broach the subject? Maybe if you're already slightly distanced you could be the one to do it?

My DD dipped her toe into the shark infested instagram pool recently. From what she tells me most followers you get are people who you have followed. It's a kind of I'll follow you if you follow me, arrangement. She very soon got fed up with it as she has a life.

Her behaviour is lunatic. What a bore.

You can also buy 'likes' and followers apparently!

Living the fake life on social media is unfortunately the new norm

no it isn't, don't be silly.

She sounds awful! Her poor children :( I think you should say something to her. I used to have a friend like this, whenever we met up she was constantly on her phone so I don’t see her anymore.

I logged out of my Instagram last Saturday and haven’t logged in since and I feel so much better for it. I too was pretty obsessed (not so much posting, but checking what everyone else was up to all the time) and I know how horribly addictive it can be. I found myself impatient with my kids and ignoring my partner just to get some time to go on my phone. It is a compulsion. You actually believe that you know these people and you are part of their lives. You also strive to make your life look as perfect as most other people’s on there, which is exhausting and makes you feel terrible about yourself. This last week I have felt so grateful for MY life and the things we have and actually been more present. I think ultimately she won’t change unless she wants to and I hope she doesn’t wake up having lost her partner and wasted time that she could have been enjoying watching her kids grow up.