Intentionally annoying your OH

[Shartnado]

Lighthearted - What things do you do to annoy your OH for your own amusement?

I like to incorrectly 'correct' pronunciations of words while we watch telly purely because it drives him mad. So for example on a cooking programme the chef said 'zest' to which I said to dh, 'it's pronounced j'est, it's a French word' and other such utter bollocks! Amuses me greatly

I also say shop names completely wrong on purpose or put the emphasis in the wrong place like, MatAlan, Tescos's, sporting direct etc.

Please share your little wind up ways

I move furniture, my mother used to do it to, not as a malicious thing but as a sudden idea of where it would look good in the room so moving the whole set up around while DH is at work.
I do it when I get restless with life in general and it scratches and itch.

Apparently I leave kitchen cupboard doors open. When he pointed out that it annoyed him obviously I did it deliberately

I pretend I've not heard him say something and say "pardon?" to see how many times he'll repeat it. The record is 6 but now he's got wise so I have to wait ages before he falls for it again!

I transfer small amounts of money to his bank account every so often with different references like 'Arsedildo.com' and 'AsianLadies4U'

Also....we have a sprinkler at the moment as we had lawn laid in the dry months. Every time he goes outside to move it around the lawn I turn it on while he's holding it

@umpteennamechanges

My husband got told off for doing this to me

I was in a meeting with a bank manager and we needed to through some transactions. He turned the screen to me, all red faced, to check that the outgoings and incomings were ok. All the transactions for my husband were titled “money for blowies” “meth money” “bail money” “blackmail” “coke fund” etc. Trying to keep a straight face was impossible

@NotUmbongoUnchained Hilarious!!!

I also use the cats against him.

Me: Did you do any washing today?

DH: Yes

Me: I don't believe you...

DH: I absolutely, definitely did

Me: "Skywhiskers says you didn't, he says you sat on the sofa in your pants watching YouTube"

@umpteennamechanges
I used to do this. My share of the rent was titled
Drug money

Offer him tissues with even the slightest sniffle or sneeze.

Sometimes he'll turn around to me and I'm just silently holding a box of them or travel pack out to him.

My son has a Hey Duggee toy which, when you push the head, makes all different “WOOF” noises.
When my husband is in the supermarket and calls me asking for advice, I like to just use that to answer

Husband: “Do we need milk?”
Me: “A-Woof”
Husband: “Seriously, do we need milk?”
Me “WOOF-WOOF”

I genuinely laugh my ass off every time

If he falls asleep on the sofa after I have gone up to bed I use the sky app to change the channel to a god songs program and up the volume so he wakes to it and comes up while I pretend to be asleep....he has no idea

Qaunkidy quank has fucking killed me off.

Mumsnet HQ can this go to classics please

Returning the hole-less sandwich is so sweet. I really hope our marriage is still as full of fun when we're old with grandchildren.

Mumsnet HQ can this go to classics please

What!?!? Nooooo

I once taped a picture of Nicholas cage to the bottom of the toilet seat for DP to find when he lifted the seat to pee

I like to let him tell me something and then give a nonchalant “hmm?” When he gets to the end. Really winds him up. And now my 2 year old also does the “hmm?” When OH asks him something 😂

I also like to annoy him when we are on the phone by saying “anyway I’m really busy so I’d better go. Lots to do. Very busy.” And then hang up.

Mwahahaha

@Shartnado you’ve just reminded me of another one. When he goes to kiss me I sometimes just keep my mouth a little bit open without doing the actual mwah bit like a small child does and then say “baby kiss!”. It really winds him up

Oh, and my Dad loves a practical joke. Once when I was about 14 we were at the airport about to go on holiday. I walked through the scanners and it beeped (a hair clip or something). At that moment my dad decided to shout with a look of panic on his face “RUN MARY RUN! DONT LOOK BACK JUST RUN!!!”.

I was highly embarrassed and refused to speak to him for a few days.

@RoboticSealpup it definitely deserves to be admitted to classics so it stays on here forever!

As a one-off, when DH half-woke up at 3am when I got back in from work, I told him that Mourinho had resigned from Chelsea (true). Then added that they were getting Martin Jol instead (not true, and funnier if you know who Martin Jol was and how he compared to Jose Mourinho in footballing terms at the time.)

He leapt out of bed and turned on SkySportsNews in a sweat.

Generally, I take a really ostentatiously reasonable view of other teams' performances, and pundits' comments on same, when they beat his beloved Chelsea.

I once taped a picture of Nicholas cage to the bottom of the toilet seat

That's actually funny

Been camping so have just caught up with this, some absolute corkers!!

Some of these are brilliant.

My own entry.

Laughing far too much at some of these! DH asks me what I;m laughing at so I tell him he thread and read out an example. He says women are mean! And what do I do to annoy him? Me: nothing darling.
Aye, I like to eat all the chocolate bars then put the empty packet back in the cupboard-drives him nuts! Last night, DS did it-DH was unamused!
My fave tho is when I open a cereal packet, I usually tear off the cardboard flap on top of the box to help the cereal pour better. Drives him bonkers! Sometimes if he's really annoying I take out all the packets and tear a flap off each box.
When he explodes, I wait a day then sellotape them back on. Not always on the right box!
I luffs him!! I like making the bed all wrong too and sometimes I fold his boxer shorts 'wrong'. Or swap his boxers for our sons!