Intentionally annoying your OH

[Shartnado]

Lighthearted - What things do you do to annoy your OH for your own amusement?

I like to incorrectly 'correct' pronunciations of words while we watch telly purely because it drives him mad. So for example on a cooking programme the chef said 'zest' to which I said to dh, 'it's pronounced j'est, it's a French word' and other such utter bollocks! Amuses me greatly

I also say shop names completely wrong on purpose or put the emphasis in the wrong place like, MatAlan, Tescos's, sporting direct etc.

Please share your little wind up ways

What @Idontbelieveinthemoon is spot on. I hate "traditional romance" genuinely makes me uncomfortable with the crooning and the flowery language. Doesn't mean I question someone else's intelligence for enjoying that in their relationship

It does what it says on the tin in my case. I never presented myself as anything other than someone who enjoys a good laugh and a joke. I think you can't confuse having a laugh and actually upsetting someone. It's obviously not ok to actually upset someone but most people can find that line.

In fact I knew DH was the one for me when we used to work together. He had ordered nerf guns for his kids for Christmas and had them delivered to work. At the end of a very stressful meeting he pulled one of the guns out from under his shirt and began shooting the head of marketing who immediately returned fire with the small bars of chocolate in a dish. Absolute chaos ensued. True love I tell you.

Some of these are properly bananas in a bit of a disturbing way. The mum who moved furniture and puts sprinkles on sandwiches? That honestly sounds pathological in some way.

And if my DP his in a cupboard for an hour, just to grab my arm and give me a fright, I would seriously lose respect for him.

I couldn’t tolerate a lot of the nonsense that’s been described on here. But the only thing I can totally imagine our family doing is alpacas urgent ‘don’t forget this’ game and handing someone a cat or a shoehorn as they walk out of the door. That tickled me.

All the rest of it is batshit though. If I got to lunchtime at work, starving, and found inedible ham sandwiches with sprinkles for my lunch I’d be so fucked off and upset. For some reason that has really struck me as odd and a bit cruel.

The thread doesn't say "to mutually enjoy being silly" it's about deliberately annoying your partner. If my Dh deliberately and repeatedly did things to annoy me I'd leave him.

If the thread is about being mutually silly that's different (and the title is wrong).

My DP likes —needs— everything cut perfectly perpendicular.
So I find it hilarious to cut random corners and chunks off the big block of cheese. Yesterday I carved a heart into it
I also ring his work phone when I know he’s got colleagues in the van and ask about something innocuous like what we’re having for dinner, then I’ll randomly say something like “How’s your bum today? Was 3 fingers too much last night”
His friends laugh a lot, he fucking hates it

DH and I are a bit humourless about this sort of thing. In particular, my tolerance for being wound up is extremely low.

My grandparents were masters of it though. My grandad loved to have a lot of salt on his food, so Granny would find ways to empty the shaker without him noticing. She bought lots of different ones so it would be harder for him to guess by its weight.

He went through a period of getting up very early to intercept the newspaper delivery, then very carefully and neatly cutting out the crossword puzzle and hiding it.

Op's examples aren't funny at all.

And I'm off. Thanks OP I've thoroughly enjoyed my time.

Seriously people who don't understand there's no reason to say others are less intelligent or pathological. In fact it's downright rude. Why not just scroll on as this is obviously not your cup of tea?

People are less intelligent because they joke around with their partner?
I would go as far to say humourless people who are unable to enjoy light teasing are actually those who are emotionally unintelligent and dull

It’s about having a giggle together. I’d never do anything that I thought would genuinely upset him it’s about the little wind ups that genuinely make us laugh.

Genuinely baffles me that someone who ‘doesn’t get it and would leave someone over that’ would read and comment 🙄

My xh could not laugh at himself. He wouldn't find any of this funny. And while I cried with laughter reading some of these I also cried that I've never been in this sort of relationship. Where you don't have to be terrified of upsetting the other person.

Love this and only wish I'd seen it earlier! I will read the whole thread - can't stand a cancelled cheque and all that but I'm sure it's a mixture of what me or DH have done!

My favourites that stick out in my mind are sticking a plaster on his lunch box with his name on it. Then straight in his bag. And wrapping his childhood teddy in his towel in his gym kit, so it fell out when he was getting changed with his mates!

In return, I got up one morning to find he had cable tied all the mugs to the mug tree!

My DH is a fairly senior NHS manager. He asked me to get him a new project style notebook for work and I presented him with a bright blue version, adorned with a sparkly lightbulb and bearing the legend 'My little book of BIG ideas'.

I am not sure he ever used it but the image of him whipping it out at strategic planning meetings used to make me laugh.

@MaureenMLove I'd be laughing my head off at yours an ohs antics.

I also lold at the hello kitty cheque book.

In return, I got up one morning to find he had cable tied all the mugs to the mug tree!

See this would fuck me off immensely. Especially if it was a work morning and I had to faff with cable ties just to get a mug for my coffee. I wouldn’t find it funny, just annoying and juvenile and time wasting.

It’s interesting to see how polarising this kind of thing is. I am definitely in the ‘practical jokes are rubbish’ camp.

I can’t imagine getting a kick out of winding DP up. Changing the channel while they’re watching tv with a secret app - why would I want to interrupt his enjoyment? I’d be more likely to do that to someone I didn’t like.

DP and I laugh together all the time. We certainly don’t tread on eggshells and talk in sober, hushed tones for fear of causing offence. But if he cut out the crossword of the newspaper just to deny me the pleasure of completing it, I’d think he was being a prick.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion.
I accept that you find our actions juvenile and irritating.
I find your opinions dull and quite sad really.

DH and I love playfully annoying one another.

I sing the Russian National anthem at him through the door when he goes to the bathroom (he's Polish but we joke that he's actually a Russian spy). If he hasn't locked the bathroom door, I'll burst in and sit on the bathroom floor and tickle him while he wees. Not sure how this started and I'm just grateful he hasn't peed on me in retaliation yet!

He hides the teatowel so it's never on-hand when I need it (I regularly find teatowels in strange places as a result).

If either of us feel like the other isn't providing enough attention we'll wrestle one another and then lie on top of the victim maintaining full eye contact. Makes us giggle, but might look disturbing to our neighbours

I love a mince pie, my DH doesn't like the filling but likes the pastry, so he takes the lids off of all of them and then puts the back into the box and changes the wording on the box to Mince Tarts and sits and waits for me to notice.
He also dunks things (food, nothing weird) in my tea which drives me mad.

I get him back by talking in a loud 'Miss Rabbit' off of Peppa Pig voice which then prompts the kids to do so as well and he hates it.

I also shout out the car window when he gets out for work random things in front of his colleagues, my favourite being "LOVETH THINE MANY DEAREST HUSBAND FACE!" before zooming off with the kids.

I ask stupid questions about football too, or make stupid and incorrect statements. I also look up films we're watching on imdb and tell him what's about to happen.

He does it to me too. He asks me stupid questions about music. We both pretend we've misheard each other, eg I'll say "can you pass me that cup?" and he'll say "can I fasten your truck?"

DD and I like to make each other jump and I did try to extend this game to him when we first got together but he really really didn't like it so I stopped. So PP who can't understand how couples can enjoy winding each other up can rest easy that I'm not a complete sadist.

The PP whose DH was searching for her when she was out reminded me of the time I stalked all over M&S like a ninja trying to find DD to make her jump while she waited for me outside 😅

DP snaps the waistband of his underwear every single morning when he puts it on. He admitted the other day that he only does it to get an exasperated reaction from me, and that sometimes it actually hurts. I actually find it romantic in a way now

My dh gets annoyed if anyone leaves a kitchen cupboard door open (ds9 does it all the time ) Occasionally when we’re sitting having wine I’ll open every single door before he goes in to pour next glass ! He does laugh though 😁

I got a plastic moustache in a Christmas cracker years ago. It got chucked in a drawer and now and then I find it, put it on and pretend I’m Poirot. Annoys him greatly, amuses me no end

I think we must be the same person! I like to follow it in stitches with a snort and a well... it tickled me

I did go over the top waking ex up with a Scream mask on though. I was lucky I didn't get a punch, let alone a laugh. Still... it tickled me

@LotsOfSemiColons what exactly do you find funny or entertaining then?

When he's finished telling me something I'll say wowsers, wowsers trousers or even wowseroonies trouseroonies just because it annoys him. I rhyme other things too, such as sozzard bozzard instead of sorry (obviously not if I'm genuinely sorry, more like if I've left the cupboard door open again) or whatever Trevor when he asks something like what I want for tea. Our kids have picked it up too which irritates him even more.
Sometimes I pretend I've forgotten a word (well, quite often I have actually forgotten the word because my memory's terrible) and he has to work out what I'm on about, so for example I'll call the Worcestershire sauce 'that brown shakey stuff' and Marmite 'that brown squeezey stuff'.