Intentionally annoying your OH

[Shartnado]

Lighthearted - What things do you do to annoy your OH for your own amusement?

I like to incorrectly 'correct' pronunciations of words while we watch telly purely because it drives him mad. So for example on a cooking programme the chef said 'zest' to which I said to dh, 'it's pronounced j'est, it's a French word' and other such utter bollocks! Amuses me greatly

I also say shop names completely wrong on purpose or put the emphasis in the wrong place like, MatAlan, Tescos's, sporting direct etc.

Please share your little wind up ways

Like many people I'm sure, we own more than 6 mugs to go on a mug tree!

Yes, it was mildly irritating initially, but it reminded me on a cold, miserable work morning why I love the silly old bugger.

It reminded me that he had thought about me before he went to sleep and got up earlier for work to make me laugh, whilst giggling himself I'm sure.

I didn't have my tea in my favourite mug that day, but I did have the knowledge that he was in a good mood on the way to work, waiting for me to call and I smiled a bit more too.

I’m not convinced that the partners of wind up merchants find these pranks hilarious, I think people pretend to be amused.

I put empty chocolate wrappers back in the tub (evil chuckle) it drives him mad!

I don’t do anything to DP (but I might start after reading this thread! Lol)
But me and ex-DH are still very good friends and I feed the cats whenever he is away. He’s currently on a golfing trip, so this afternoon when I feed them I will be turning everything upside down in his fridge as per tradition!

@LotsOfSemiColons what exactly do you find funny or entertaining then?

Observational stuff I guess. We have a funny bone for the absurd, which is why the ‘don’t forget this’ game that alpaca’s family play tickled me.

But I was thinking about the ham sandwich with sprinkles as a ‘joke’ last night and I couldn’t figure how that joke would play out. Like, did the husband sit down to eat his lunch at work and find a disgusting ‘joke’ sandwich and go, ‘oh hohoho she really got me today, how hilarious!’ But then did he eat the shitty sandwich anyway, or did he have to throw it away and buy something else? Or did he just go hungry? It really boggled me that one.

And the crossword one.

Oops. The crossword one. I can’t imagine saying to DH, leave the crossword cos I really like doing it and instead of leaving the crossword for me because he knows I like it, deliberately sabotaging so I can’t do it. That seems like a control
Thing.

Intentionally mishear him, the repeat the momsense to him in a quizzical fashion.
Eg: DP: 'My Mum asked me to take her shopping for some squash.'
I ask 'Your Mum said she's only popping for a wash? Why do I need to know that?'

We both do it.
It's like an evolved version of 'make up a sentence nobody ever said before'.

The ham and sprinkles sandwich is just wasteful and rather cruel. "Hahaha you thought you had something to eat but you don't!!"

@MaureenMLove

I don't get the cable tie thing. Did he also remove all the scissors from the house? Coz if he didn't, then surely you'd just cut the tie and use your mug?

No he didn't remove all the scissors, it was just the initial just got out of bed and needing a cuppa that was daft enough! He had expertly cut all the ends off, so it wasn't immediately obvious, to a half asleep wife. Trying to get a mug off and wondering why it wasn't coming off!

I don't think my husband would even notice sprinkles on a ham sandwich - he eats anything!

Re: my grandad and the crossword - he only hid it, he'd return it later. He never threw it out. It was always cut out neatly so it was usable. Granny was an inveterate joker herself and would get her own back.

He has a collection of anecdotes that he's told me many times. Whenever the opportunity to tell them comes up I preempt him by saying, for example, "have you ever met a drummer, DH?" with wide eyes and an innocent tone. He fell for it once or twice at the beginning but now he goes along with the joke and tells me the anecdote in an exaggerated way as if I've never heard it before while I "ooh" and "wow" and "gosh!" in all the right places. I also "punish" him for fake transgressions (beating me at Mario Kart, making fun of a TV show I'm watching etc) by refusing to give him eye contact. It makes him laugh at first but then he gets genuinely a bit upset so I give in. Ahh, marriage is great.

I do get where the non-winder-uppers are coming from, I wouldn't do anything that genuinely annoyed him because I love him and want him to be happy. But I suspect most of the examples on this thread are like ours - things we do that are objectively a bit annoying but actually just make our partner laugh too. If DH was actually annoyed I wouldn't do it.

Isn't this gaslighting?

I know I'll be told to lighten up. Nhuh-uh.

Note: I love to laugh, and I love laughing with someone. Just not at their expense, no matter how "lighthearted" I might tell myself it is. But that's just me, and that's the dynamic I have.

@MaureenMLove I thought you meant an actual tree

We have a motion sensor bin in the kitchen sometimes I like to switch it off to see my OH waving their hands like a lunatic trying to get it to open before realising what I had done.

Another one I do is not use the correct name
for things,

When asking DH to pass the tea-towel for instance,

"DH can you pass me that cloth fella over please?"

DH - ......

"You know, the one there, next to the soft, yellow lass..." (duster)

DH - .... ffs.

So this is the other way round but...

DH (I mean DickHead not Darling Husband!) discovered an app called "fart piano" I'm sure I don't need to explain the concept. He spent all last night playing songs to me with this.

This morning he has shown the kids this amazing app and is currently teaching them how to play twinkle twinkle little star with fart noises.

I have a gin.

I like to wait until we're both cosy in bed then innocently ask DH if he's locked the front door. Even though I've checked it's locked and he knows he's locked it he can't go to sleep without checking again

Only a couple of things that I can think of:

• whenever he's playing a shooting game and they say "fire at will", I always say "poor Will, what did he ever do to anyone?"

• when we're in the garden and DP goes to the loo I sneak up and bang really loudly on the window. Bonus points if you can hear a scream/yelp!

Both drive him nuts but I can't help myself! I find myself far too funny when I do them!

Randomly moving furniture could possibly be seen as gas lighting as turning the lights down is where the term gaslighting comes from. Depends if it's done maliciously or as a joke everyone is enjoying. Or if it's done to send you crazy.

I do a dance or a jig in front of the tv as I walk past when my husband is watching something or playing a game. Extra points if it's at a crucial time in the show/game