Intentionally annoying your OH

[Shartnado]

Lighthearted - What things do you do to annoy your OH for your own amusement?

I like to incorrectly 'correct' pronunciations of words while we watch telly purely because it drives him mad. So for example on a cooking programme the chef said 'zest' to which I said to dh, 'it's pronounced j'est, it's a French word' and other such utter bollocks! Amuses me greatly

I also say shop names completely wrong on purpose or put the emphasis in the wrong place like, MatAlan, Tescos's, sporting direct etc.

Please share your little wind up ways

@Ducks

Because it's -childish- amusing.
Because you can.
Because it's (mostly) harmless and funny rather than designed to piss someone off.
Because it just happens when you spend a lot of time with someone and know them so well.

Seriously, I wonder if it's less common in people who were only children. Children with siblings are more likely to grow up with teasing, family jokes etc. Maybe not.

I’m with you ducks

However, DH couldn’t work out how to order himself a check book (oh yes he could, he just couldn’t be bothered) so asked me to do it. For the past 3years he’s been presenting pale pink, blue and yellow hello kitty checks including a recent one to his company repaying a massive tax return.

Should have ordered them himself really.

I pretend I don't know how to work the heating/ air conditioning in his car. Every time we go somewhere, I give it 5 minutes then start:
"Oooh, I'm a bit hot DH' .....'ooh, it's close today isn't It, can't you you feel it' etc until he says through gritted teeth 'put the aircon on then if you're hot' (with an eye twitch, he knows where this is going) ' I don't know how or I would'... he'll then go 'Just press the aircon button' (massive a/c button on the dash, you'd need to be literally blind to miss it) 'what button, where?, this one?' (Pointing to traction control or hazards or something clearly NOT the a/c) etc etc

It drives him absolutely batshit. I can't stop, I think it's becoming an addiction.

I work with my husband. I still don’t get it. HerRoyalNotness - that is funny but mainly because he was being idiotic. In the same way that my OH does know I would take the piss if he got a ride on lawn mower for our land (it’s just under an acre). But without purpose I just don’t see why you would ‘go out’ to cause friction

Just to add, I keep up this childish game until I make him set the aircon or heating for me. God I'm nuts, lol.

I've been howling reading this thread!

Things I do to DH...
Chase him up the stairs, he screams when he hears my feet coming fast!
He's a gym goer and can't abide those who don't train their legs so I call him chicken legs and randomly send him chicken emojis.
Hide and jump out on him at least once a day, so satisfying to get a yelp.

Things he does to me...
Orders loads of food in a restaurant and when it arrives at the table, tells the server it's all mine.
Tells people it's my birthday when it isn't so I have to awkwardly explain it's not.
Tells everyone my wrong age, even MIL has no idea how old I am really and she gets confused with him.
Creeps up behind me and uses a finger on each hand to poke my sides and make me jump out of my skin.
Invites randoms into the house at the most inconvenient times like when I'm cleaning in my dressing gown (Jehovah witnesses and delivery guys).
FaceTimes me when he's with his friends after a drink and gets them all to sing me songs (usually happy birthday).

Probably loads more, we have such a giggle and are constantly laughing. Even our children join in with it now.

I like to shout 'unbelievable Jeff!' After he's told me a particularly boring and long winded story. He also gets annoyed when I call 'sauvage' sausage. Or ask if he's wearing Old Spice.

When football is on tv, usually in the top left hand corner there will be the shortened team names and the score...

so...BOL 3 - ITA 2

I always ask 'who's playin ?, who is BOL, who is ITA... even if I have managed to decipher it

If he is cooking, I will always take a 'mouse bite' out of ingredients and put them back. I hear him in the kitchen saying 'bloody mice'

He will come in to see me and say "the bloody mice are so clever opening the packet of mushrooms etc"

I tell him that I came across a terrible TV programme, so awful I ended up watching some of it just to marvel at the absolute shite that gets made these days, etc etc. He asks what it was called and I say ooh, Shitegate, something like that. He loves Stargate. He got genuinely upset once when the elder 2 dc said they hated it, and accused me of deliberately making then hate it.

@BuntyII I need to steal your 'unbelievable Jeff!' One

Just remembered, also when he's telling me something really boring I'll wait until he's finished and pause dramatically before saying 'wow! That story had everything' or 'what a LOVELY story' in a really enthusiastic way. I'm a proper dick.

There's a mirror in our bathroom that DH bought. It's one of those freestanding circular ones that you can flip over to magnify mirror. It's the perfect height for plucking my eyebrows/doing makeup so I regularly pinch it and put it on my dressing table. He's just this minute flounced in, grabbed it and whispered "mine!" in a Gollum-like voice and taken it back I'll be yoinking it back first thing mwahahaha!!!

Put my finger in his mouth when he yawns. Nothing worse than an interrupted yawn 😂

Every time I pass him while he's sitting at his computer I rub his head affectionately. He shouts "stop that you pervert". I do it at least once a day, usually two or three times. I know I've properly pissed him off of he doesn't react and just glares at me.

He eats loudly in order to piss me off. And he opens his crisps upside down. And he doesn't rinse the recycling (I'm not sure this one is deliberate, but it is annoying)

I thought you were all being mean to OH then I remembered I do things to!
Put hobby horse in husbands wardrobe, twice, so that he jumps when it falls out. Mumbles something about mafia.

User to lick his face, got a bit weird when DD started to, so can't do that anynore.

Ah yes I do this too. One summer the kids I started attacking DH from the upstairs windows as he came in from work with various things mostly nerf guns and water balloons. One day when we weren't home the lady in the house next door opened her window as DH was walking up the path. As he heard the window open he apparently began an impressive display of evasive manoeuvres with his work bag clutched to the top of his head while shouting "for the love of God woman I'm in my good suit!". I had texted him that I'd made slime with the kids that day and clearly he feared the worst. When I got home NDN who had opened the window popped out to ask if DH was feeling well...? 😂

Escumato and Lelly, are you related to my OH? He's always asking about Mo Salad, Sadio Main and Roberto Flamingo.

Sometimes in the morning when I wake up and he’s laying there looking at me all adoringly I just scream and pretend I don’t know who he is.

He’s 6ft4 and I’m 5ft2 so I like to climb him when he’s trying to do something. Bonus points if I can get inside his jumper like a little Fetus.

A left over from his time in the military is he likes to have all his stuff lined up. All his toiletries and stuff is all perfectly lined up like little soldiers so I like to move them off centre.

I make deliberately disingenuous remarks with a straight face.
Occasionally will use expressions that I've heard on TV - like 'well jel', though he'd never heard of that would you believe. My son was here at the time and he said, "Oh don't start saying that!".

I used to put daft stuff in his lunchbox. Like a mini pack of skittles, or a drumstick lolly, or a something dd had won out of those £1 machines like a plastic slinky.

He doesn't take pack up anymore sadly.

I do my best to stop him sneezing by shouting bless you over and over in this face when I can see a sneeze coming. Highly frustrating when he gets me back.

@EachPeachPearRum oh god I was laughing so hard at your husbands evasive movements my husband actually came upstairs to check I was ok. I can't breathe.

... Maybe you had to be there?

@EachPeachPearRum I too am howling at this!!

So much so I'm off to buy water balloons to throw at DP after work this week 😂😂