Intentionally annoying your OH

[Shartnado]

Lighthearted - What things do you do to annoy your OH for your own amusement?

I like to incorrectly 'correct' pronunciations of words while we watch telly purely because it drives him mad. So for example on a cooking programme the chef said 'zest' to which I said to dh, 'it's pronounced j'est, it's a French word' and other such utter bollocks! Amuses me greatly

I also say shop names completely wrong on purpose or put the emphasis in the wrong place like, MatAlan, Tescos's, sporting direct etc.

Please share your little wind up ways

Escumator I think we may be the same person as this is EXACTLY what I do to my oh. And I notice they are all Liverpool players so they must support the same team? I will say ‘ where is Steven ger-rarrd these days??’ haha

We have a whole array of things but they are more in jokes than just driving him up the wall.
I purposefully touch his bum when I go past, and he always shouts "hey, don't touch the goods".

We spend so much time laughing at generally silly things that other people often look on bemused.

Start the butter lefthanded, discovered accidentally but it drives him crackers.

Move the key for the letterbox around (only slightly) he's the only one ever bothers opening it so always baffled how it's not where he left it.

Allow encourage dds to paint his nails when he falls asleep on the sofa

He does get his own back though by trying to use a steak knife on the butter and asking silly questions just as I'm about to fall asleep

I’m in hysterics over quankity quank!!

My DH tells me to put the cutlery in the dishwasher pointing up, otherwise they won’t clean properly, so I put them all in pointing down. He’s been telling all my friends and acquaintances for the last decade that I have a crush on Antonio Banderas (I don’t) as payback.

I have the sky remote app on my phone and pause it now and again when he's majorly into a program and pretend as if he must have pressed the button as he has the remote. I did change channels once when I was upstairs and he still hasn't cottoned on to me having the app haha

Tinkobell....I do that to the children about films....I once made myself a nuisance over Xmen. Who's that? Is he the one in the wheelchair? Are they friends? Why is she blue. Where is Hugh Jackman? Isn't he a wizard. Why is he not wearing his startrek jumper?

They turned it off and refused to put it back on until I went to bed :o

Sent to bed by my own children. :o

I take tiny sips from my drink. He will tolerate it for a few sips and then say 'why can't you just drink like a normal person?' My usual answer to that is 'what is normal? Can you show me? Is it like this?' Then I take a loud gulp. He also hates this.

It annoys him so much but really amuses me.

Oh I've just remembered one I do to get my mum back! We FaceTime video a lot with my baby son as he loves it. I regularly put the filters on to look like a bear or an alien and it totally freaks her out as I pretend I have NO clue what she's on about. Kills me laughing silently.

We annoy the crap out of each other and we love it!

He likes to jump out on me or just suddenly scream at random points in a film! He once stayed crouched in the bottom of my wardrobe for over an hour and grabbed my arm as I reached in for a blouse 🤣🤣

I pretend I love his nipples 🤣 I talk to them in a silly voice, sneakily tweak them, tickle, lick them, anything really .... then I say 'I know you like it' it annoys him yet he carnt help cracking up laughing!

The sky one just reminded me of another thing I do to wind up my lovely DP.

I have the YouTube app on my phone and can connect it to the tv and it takes over the screen. My latest thing is to put baby shark on the tv whilst he's watching American horror story. Totally ruins the vibe of his show 😂

and straws...lots and lots of sooking when you get to the end of a drink and make that godawful noise.

if you have lots of ice and place the end of the straw just right you can do it for most of the drink.

ooh sorry my straw is not all the way down....

Not for current DP but with my ex, I used to like to lean back against him in public. It looked like I'd leant back for a hug but I used to rub against his crotch to give him a hard-on.

Also in-jokes rather than winding up really. I deliberately sing along the wrong song when he's whistling. (He's terrible. It's barely discernable)

Lambs= sheepy puppies.
Calves = sheepy moo moo puppies.
Foals = sheepy moo moo horsey puppies.
Goat kids= sheepy moo moo horsey not llama puppies. (Grown up Goats are called "not llamas". I don't remember why. )

Call giraffes "draffens"
Call elephants "neffalumps"
Call monkeys "those thieving shitebags"

Talk through the dog. "Don't be a gobshite daddy! Mumma wants tea. Get her tea daddy, I love her. You should too... Biscuit for me Daddy? I'm a good boy."

He gives as good as he gets. Thanks to someone here who responded to a mice question with "this is NOT a Highlander situation" he now calls mice "immortals." He deliberately says Pacific instead of specific. He leaves every door and drawer he touches open. He tells the dog I don't love him, only DH does. (Im sure dog believes him) He does the crazy frog song, compete with mimed bike, until i shout "put the bike away!"

I'm crying at quankity quank!

These are all brilliant, I love winding up my OH.

My favourite is waiting for him to close his eyes for sleep then slowly hovering my finger under his nostrils.
It takes a few seconds for him to sense it and then it makes him twitch/ and alsmot sneeze. It's so funny.

I like to stick my finger in OH's mouth when he yawns. I'd never ever have considered it, but it's one of his favourite things to do to me and I've now decided to fight fire with fire.
The other night I got him four times in a row, to the point that I made him too nervous to be able to yawn, even though I wasn't nearby, I could hear him cursing and whimpering from the next room, as I slid to the floor laughing hysterically at my wit

I use the Spotify app on my phone to randomly get our Google Home speaker to play odd/spooky songs.
My OH doesn't know I can do this, therefore thinks the speaker is broken/haunted.

This thread is hilarious 😂 DH and I are in stitches.
He leaves his teaspoon on the side after his morning coffee, on purpose, to wind me up. So I take pictures and send them to him, his whole camera roll is 90% teaspoon pictures.

Stick my cold feet under his thigh when he's sat the opposite end of the sofa!

I also hide the kids shoes to confuse him

I like to stick my finger in OH's mouth when he yawns. I'd never ever have considered it, but it's one of his favourite things to do to me and I've now decided to fight fire with fire.
This game is all well and good until you almost do it instinctively to a yawning stranger on the bus.

I now wish I had an oh to wind up.

haha yes! I have a Yorkshire accent but DH isn't and when I deliberately say any Yorkshire words to him (rate instead of right, wa-ter instead of war-ter, dunt and int instead of doesn't and isn't) it annoys him so much haha i love it

He's also a clean freak and I'm on the messy side of the scale, sometimes I deliberately don't take the washing off the radiator/drying rack when I know he has a wash impending just so he does it for me whilst complaining hehe

Phoning him up to tell him the cat has just called him a fat fucker

I am obviously unique but intentionally annoying my DP is the last thing on my mind. I promise I am not being deliberately goading but I would genuinely like to understand - why would you want to waste your time pissing off someone you love?

Every time he says “I’m gonna jump in the shower”, I say “don’t do that, you’ll go through the ceiling”. I also turn all the lights on and forget to turn them off