9mo and waking throughout the night

[NomsQualityStreets]

Posting for traffic as I never get much on the Sleep topic.

Nearly 9mo DS is waking up pretty much every 2 hours on the dot to BF at night and I'm really tired.
He goes to bed at 7pm and is quite good at going down.
I BF him and then put him in his cot awake with his comfort blanket and dummy and read a book in the corner of the room. Only go to him if he starts crying and that's when I lay him back down if he's sat up and put his dummy back in with no picking up/cuddling/talking. Usually takes anything between 5-25mins.

He's then awake at 10pm for a feed and from then on usually wakes at 12am, 2am, and so on all to BF until he's up for the day around 7am. Last night he was up at 10pm, 12am, 2am, 3.20am, 5am, 6.15am and then slept until 8 but during all occasions wanted to BF and I'm tired and sore.

I know he can't be hungry so many times as he can happily go 4+ hours between feeds through the day if we're busy.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get him to sleep longer and drop the feeds?
TIA

Express and get your dp/dh to help, but that sounds pretty normal for a BF baby to me

Do you have a partner? I found the only option was to have my DP go into the room to sooth baby for EVERY wake for a week. That helped us distinguish which wake ups were really hunger and which were comfort. I was too associated with feeding so the baby wouldn't settle for me without BF.

Ditto the above post - someone other than you settling should help as DS won't associate them with feeding

How are you getting on OP?

Sounds normal to me too. Cosleeping maximises everyone’s sleep here. It doesn’t last forever. Hope things improve for you.

My eldest uses to do this at 8mo. Drive me insane through sleep deprivation. As above, DH used to have to go in and settle, took a few days by she got the hint eventually. I'd still do one night feed, but after 4/6 hours instead of 2. Also porridge before going to bed!

Mine did this till 12.5 months then slept 10 hours straight every night

I was at your stage a few weeks ago and now I deploy DH - I’ve done 9 months of all night (and day) feeds so this is DH time to step up.
I know DC isn’t actually hungry but if I go she will want BF. I now get up once a night if at all to feed.
Sympathies to you as I was on my knees a few weeks ago due to complete exhaustion especially given this it’s the school holidays and I gave other children to entertain

Is this a new thing? Just asking as there’s usually a huge sleep regression at 9 months.

Possibly if he goes 4+ hours between feeds in the day he is hungry? Once the world around them gets interesting they can stretch feeds out longer in the day as they are distracted and then make up for it at night. I went back to work whenDS was 8.5 months and he refused a bottle or cup of milk completely - he’d have some food in the day and a small amount of water from a cup and then be up 3 or so times for a feed overnight - it’s called ‘reverse cycling’ and it nearly broke me - in my case it was more like every 3 hours but he’s feed for 40 mins a time and then I’d struggle to get back to sleep so I was getting

Besides getting someone else to settle baby for night wakings, make sure your baby eats plenty of fat and protein through the day. A supper of peanut butter sandwich or scrambled egg with butter or Greek yoghurt might help.

Is he eating enough solids?

I don't think this is unusual for a 9mo. DS was similar at that age and never did take a bottle. He didn't sleep through until he was 18mo.

Try to get as many calories into him during the day and send in your other half for night time settling. I think at that age our daytime eating pattern was:
Bf
Breakfast - porridge/weetabix/toast
Bf
Nap
Lunch - main course and pudding
Bf
Nap
Tea - main course and pudding
Supper - porridge
Bf
Bed

My first was like that at 9 months. Combination of needing the feeds (she was a small baby, and didn't take to solids very well so needed the milk), a sleep regression while she learned to crawl, and pain from her back teeth coming through. Hang in there, and when he shows signs of doing longer stretches again, get DH to do some settling to see if it can be managed without food as a sleep cue.

@NomsQualityStreets i bf and that doesn't sound normal. Coukd it be he's struggling to stay asleep through sleep cycles?

Do you stay in the bedroom until he is asleep? Not clear from your OP.

Does he wake up crying? My LO used to wake up just making noises and i would wait until/if she made more hunger crying noises. 9/10times she went back to sleep by herself.

She has slept through since 4 months and only used to wake up once or twice in the nught before that

Sounds very normal I think. Mine woke pretty much every deep cycle until well over one. At two now tends to do a first stint of 5-7 hours and from then every hour or two until up for the day.

I also in my friendship group of probably 10-15 Bf mothers know of NO babies that were sttn at that age. Yet weirdly it seems to be in our heads that that is normal. Waking a lot is annoying but is perfectly normal infant sleep behaviour.

This is not to be exoectedcat this age and will go on for a long time. There is no need for nutrititionat this age. A baby will partially wake many times during the night and has learned it brings a breast feed. Most of the nutrition is coming at night so not hungry during the day. As anotherposter has said you need to first focus on establishing gradually 3 meals a day and also possibly a supper of porridge. Slow caelrbs and protein are important.. for naps and bedtime try and settle without you in the room. It takes a little whe to adjust to new changes but will work. If your husband will help it will be easier to not breast feed during the night. Co sleeping might seem a quick fix but you are adding another dependency which can be hard to break

Lazy it sounds perfectly normal to me. Is this your first DC? Just wondering as they can all be different. My first was an horrendous sleeper but the second was alright.

OP there’s some information on normal infant sleep here. I think it’s something like st 12 months only half will be sleeping through, despite what lots of people will lead you to believe (like my bloody HV).

There’s some information on sleep regressions on ask moxie

Mine were already on 3 meals a day by 9 months. They were still bf on demand, apart from DD2 who had a weak suck and was ff from 4 months. They all slept through the night.

Sorry OP, from my posts ot makes it sound as if there is nothing you can do. Whilst babies waking through the nigh is normal, especially at 9 months, there are some things you can do.

Have a read of 21 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep and have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution?

@JiltedJohnsJulie yes its my first, but all of my friends babies (5 in total) were all sleeping through by 6 months.

Yes i know every baby is diffrrent, but you've even said in your post that half of babies aren't sleeping through by that age. 50/50 is a pretty even split, no saying its normal is misleading. If it was closer to only 10/20% were sleeping through, then not sleeping is more normal

Sounds normal. Side Information: i used to work in infant research. Most people who say their children sleep through, are not exactly telling the truth. There is a lot of bragging, some overfeeding, some overheating (“they sleep through if they are really warm “ yes, but also at risk of SIDS), and a minority of children actually sleeps through (which is defined as more than 6 hours in one go). Take what you are told with a massive grain of salt

My DS didn't stop waking frequently at night until I completely stopped breastfeeding at night. I dropped night feeds before day feeds and almost immediately he started sleeping for 5-7 hours at a stretch.