9mo and waking throughout the night

[NomsQualityStreets]

Posting for traffic as I never get much on the Sleep topic.

Nearly 9mo DS is waking up pretty much every 2 hours on the dot to BF at night and I'm really tired.
He goes to bed at 7pm and is quite good at going down.
I BF him and then put him in his cot awake with his comfort blanket and dummy and read a book in the corner of the room. Only go to him if he starts crying and that's when I lay him back down if he's sat up and put his dummy back in with no picking up/cuddling/talking. Usually takes anything between 5-25mins.

He's then awake at 10pm for a feed and from then on usually wakes at 12am, 2am, and so on all to BF until he's up for the day around 7am. Last night he was up at 10pm, 12am, 2am, 3.20am, 5am, 6.15am and then slept until 8 but during all occasions wanted to BF and I'm tired and sore.

I know he can't be hungry so many times as he can happily go 4+ hours between feeds through the day if we're busy.

Does anyone have any advice on how I can get him to sleep longer and drop the feeds?
TIA

My dd is 23 months and I feed her for half an hour in every hour.

I’m demented.

Obviously no help but wanted to offer sympathy

I never claimed anyone was starving their child.

Cheeky - I hope you are not actually a midwife??? Everyone is entitled to their views but please keep your opinions as what they are: personal opinions, not professional views!!

Going back to OP - seems pretty normal for that age. 9months can be quite a developmental leap too so that doesn't help.
Have you considered co-sleeping?
Otherwise I'd second sending in partner to deal with some of the wakings. Baby will be waking for loads of reasons (mostly comfort and reassurance at that age) and hopefully can be soothed back to sleep by dad at least on some occasions.

cheekybaby's post/schedule makes a lot of sense.
It doesn't have to be strictly adhered to to the minute...it's for guidance!

It's also very similar to the advice given 40years ago and worked well on both my DC's!

We had this problem so we tried night weaning. The first night was inadvertent - I got so cross with her waking up so many times and snacking (because I had something important to do the next day and needed some rest) that I went to the spare room where my partner was sleeping and said "yours! I don't care what you do, I just need 3 hours sleep!" . Anyway she was totally fine without me for 6 hours in the end. The next night I let her feed twice and then after that (at around 3am) I wouldn't allow her to feed again until 6.30/7am. She cried a bit (but I was cuddling her and comforting her) but then was fine on the subsequent night. Slept a lot better afterwards. Over the course of the next month we gradually eliminated all overnight delivery, whilst ensuring that she fed as often as she wanted during the day. She has gone back up to 1 overnight feed in the hot weather and due to teething and I'm fine with that. I think she sleeps a lot better overall and so do I. I have read that night weaning is not recommended until 12 months but in my case (and for several friends) it worked as the feeding was out of habit not need.

Overnight feeds! Not delivery

Both of mine were like this. It’s so hard. Other parents were telling me that their babies naturally started sleeping for longer stretches but it never happened with mine.

I night weaned when I was 100% sure they were getting enough food and milk in the day - about 11 months with one and 13 months with the other. I followed instructions in a book called Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Dr Ferber, which you might want to have a look at.

Essentially you pick one night feed at a time and every couple of nights shorten the length of the feed by a minute, so over about two weeks it reduced from 15 mins to 1 min or whatever. Then after that you don’t feed at all because you know they’re not waking because they’re hungry. There were a couple of nights of angry tears but I was amazed how painless it was. I would never leave them crying, just tell them to go to sleep, leave the room for a minute, go back in and say the same etc. Within a few weeks we’d dropped all feeds and both slept through for 10 hours.

I know not everyone is up for this kind of thing but just thought I’d share in case it helps.

My third baby was the same at 9 months. I replaced some of the daytime breastfeeds with solids (including plenty of protein). I also tried to settle without feeding for increasingly long periods at night. So if she was up at 10pm, 12am and 2am, I dropped the 10pm feed and when she was doing that herself I dropped the 12am feed and so on.

By 11 months she was sleeping 7am until 5 or 6am. Don't know if it was the extra solids/sleep/developmental leap but she was much happier then too and it felt quite painless really except for the first couple of nights.

Also - forgot to say that I dropped the feeds by shortening them like Frenchsticker describes above.

I think you need to tough it out, co sleeping and taking time to sleep in early evening when DH can take baby, if possible.

I think 7-13 months is pretty hellish and was for all 3 of mine. But i also think 9m is too young to sleep train I'm afraid.

Hang on in there another few months, then you'll have a toddler, who's angry at the milk going away but will understand a bit and gradually be able to settle. Angry crying 14mo is easier to deal with than bereft crying 9mo.

That's how it was for me, with usual disclaimer that they are all different.

And i agree that anything you can do to extend the time between bedtime and the first feed of the night will help. Easier to put down at 7, shush and cuddle at 10, feed at 1am, than feed at 10pm then try and shush cuddle at 2am when they've had more sleep and are energetic, still full of milk, probably done a poo, and fighty!

@DitchingTheDye
No you didn’t! Sorry I misread- I think it was a response to your post.

I think there’s two camps here- those that believe you should tough it out, co sleep etc and those who believe you should try and change habits through night weaning.

I’m not sure where the evidence is that night weaning before a year is too young.

I think you need to think what is right for you and your baby.

For us co sleeping doesn’t work, baby is not happy, tosses and turns, sleeps lightly, can’t get comfy and wakes up very tired and grouchy. He loves his cot.

However when he’s teething badly, he does come in my bed when he can’t settle.

Night weaning is a must for us because the sleepless nights affects us both, I’m less energetic in the day and want to do less with baby and baby is a grouchy mess if he’s woken too much
I also need to hold down a full time job. I’m not going to wait it out when it’s healthier for me and baby to stop

If you are on Facebook OP I would recommend a group called The Beyond Sleep Training Project. The group offers loads of support to parents struggling with sleep. 9 months is a very difficult time for sleep as babies have so much going on developmentally. It's worth remembering that babies don't always feed just for hunger. When my babies were learning a new skill they would always wake to feed more. 9 months is a classic time for this. Teething doesn't help either! Night weaning isn't generally recommended before 18 months (unless you are willing to do CIO). Co-sleeping has been a lifesaver for me although I appreciate it's not for everyone.

Sorry but cheekybaby are you sure you are up to date with your guidance? You are recommending baby rice? Baby porridge? We were told by the HV NOT to use either as one has no nutritional value and the other is full of sugar. The guidelines you are giving are from when parents were encouraged to wean at 4 mths.