To ask all guests to take shoes off in my house?

[chardonm]

Just that really. A few people seem really put off by that.

My dear sil has to be reminded several times before she takes them off.

I hate the thought of trailing the dirt inside the house.

I agreed with the sheltered life comment when I saw it in passing. 👍🏻

Rose No, genuinely I wasn't. Some people in life are genuinely HAPPY!

Your house your rules

The extent to whether or not this is reasonable does depend what you have down on the floor. My ground floor is entirely uncarpeted. People sometimes try to take their shoes off at the door and I won't let them. My floors are mostly wood but the whole kitchen/family area is slate and whilst my floors are clean (I hope) they don't have underfloor heating and guests would be uncomfortable

I do highly recommend no carpets downstairs though. Good for small and children and dogs and means you don't have to think about the surface too much. I'm always having to start vanishing the carpets if the DC's drip a bit of tea/coffee on their way upstairs and I couldn't be bothered with that downstairs where the problem must be exponentially worse.

Anyway you're not being unreasonable to have a rule. Whether or not that rule is reasonable really depends on your floor surfaces.

Shoes off doesn't really protect carpets. The one time I bought a cream/oatmeal coloured carpet that I thought would make a smallish bedroom look lighter and bigger disaster ensued. My 17 year old stepdaughter was moving in - I consulted her re the carpet and she said yes. I thought she was past the leaving chocolate bars to melt stage. But she did leave felt pens without the top on, on the floor and only noticed when they'd bled ink on in a way that wouldn't come off. A year or so later my own younger daughter and her 10 year old friend had a sleepover in that room. The friend vomited copiously over the carpet at 2 in the morning after having overloaded on Chinese takeaway. The puke left acid ring marks on the carpet. Never again.

But the sage green carpet that's all over most of the house is looking pretty good years after it was fitted - and after loads of (shod) people tramping around and spilling tea and coffee occasionally.

@WaitroseCoffeeCostaCup - Really bad manners not to automatically remove shoes when you get to someone's house.

And I was brought up to believe it's really bad manners to remove your shoes in someone else's house. But you know what, now I'm all grown up and have encountered people from different walks of life and with different opinions and attitudes. I realise that some people not only don't think it's rude to take your shoes off in someone else's house but also that it is reasonable to expect all visitors to remove their shoes.

I respect the fact that they have a different attitude and will go along with it in their house, while thinking to myself that they are a bit weird, uptight and inhospitable.

I do not know A SINGLE PERSON in real life who doesn't take their shoes off when visiting someone at home!

Maybe you should get out a bit more and mix with a variety of people. You might find it interesting to meet people who are different to you.

The discussion has become quite unpleasant now.

Coincidentally, RoseWhite seems to have joined back in.

Bluelady tells me that His immune system won't develop if he's never allowed to come in contact with any dirt!

I’ve explicitly stated (and won’t waste my time doing this again simply for your benefit) that I will have no problem with my son being exposed to dirt and germs. He’ll be outdoors with me taking long walks, visiting soft play and no doubt picking up all kinds of bugs and playing in outdoor parks in our cold northern winters as I don’t believe in keeping children confined and robbing them of experiences with nature. I said that i didn’t want whatever is on the soles of shoes on my floors.

When you go out, you’ll touch items that have previously been handled by people who don’t wash their hands. Do you not bother washing your hands at home because you’ll come into contact with the same germs anyway when you’re outside?

it's because they're houseproud or too lazy to clean their floors.

Yes, I’m house proud. I didn’t realise that it was such flaw to have a clean home.

MeyMary
I agree.

We are a shoes off house.

If there's a quick one of visitor popping round I don't really care if they keep them on.
If friends come round I've never asked them to take shoes off but we all remove shoes when we enter someone's house.
If for whatever reason someone needed shoes on, I can't say if care.
Parties, most of us remove shoes but then clearly i don't socialise in the circles where one gets dressed in cocktail attire to go to a friend's house.

It really annoys me when family visiting and house guests don't take shoes off. My parents are bad for it (their own carpets are grimy and they claim they'll get better carpets next time. No new carpets needed. Take your bloody shoes off).

Repeated wearing of outdorr shoes make a carpets grimy. One offs I couldn't care less because it's not about bugs for me.

Stupomax nowhere is that hot that you and your daughter couldn’t slip a pair of socks on for the short duration of a visit to someone else’s house.

clearly i don't socialise in the circles where one gets dressed in cocktail attire to go to a friend's house.

Thanks for that - I thought I was the only one! 😂

YNBU.
Shoes off in our house.
I paid nearly £600 for my living room carpet I don't want dog crap or god knows whatever else walked over it.

I thought it was the norm on visiting people you ask 'shall I take my shoes off?'

YANBU. We have a carpet and I don't want outside shit on the carpet. Obviously if they haven't got socks on then I'd probably just let them, but I actually carry a pair of socks in my bag for this reason (and because sometimes soft play or cafe play areas won't let parents in their with shoes on OR bare feet, so I need socks for the off-chance).

AllesAusLiebe
One of the many times MN has reminded me that it doesn't matter that I've worked my way into a professional job with a house in a nice middle class area, there's no escaping being common.

Don't get me wrong, we don't go in slobby clothes but it's usually nothing more than smart casual.

Still no replies from the shoes off people about what they do about athletes foot (a fungal infection Rose) and how often the socks/slippers get washed I really didn't think my questions were that hard to answer.

JenniLee my mother is exactly the same. When she has the kids for tea she makes them sit on a tea towel and puts the chair on a towel. Yeah, welcome to my childhood kids, where you're made to feel of less worth than the carpet and furniture.

I've only been to one party where we were made to take shoes off. It was so weird. I felt uncomfortable all night. Everytime people went outside to smoke they had to keep taking their shoes on and off. Woohoo, party time indeed!
It did give us all something to talk about after though, looking on the brightside.

I do not know A SINGLE PERSON in real life who doesn't take their shoes off when visiting someone at home!

Really? Most of my friends are shoes on, but have the odd friend or family that are shoes off.

Maybe it's because almost all my friends also own dogs? I also find it very difficult to be friends with overly anxious people (sorry to all the anxious people, but your anxiety rubs off on me and I don't like it, I'm sure you're perfectly lovely people).

YANBU at all!
I have bunch of cheap slippers by the door. No one is an extempt.

Still no replies from the shoes off people about what they do about athletes foot (a fungal infection Rose) and how often the socks/slippers get washed confused I really didn't think my questions were that hard to answer.

I spray them after every use with shoe desinfectant. Like they do in bowling alleys

What do the shoes off people do when they have parties? Are people expected to go barefoot/slippered in their nice outfits?

I don't have parties at my house. It's not big enough. it's a flat. We go out.

When you're old you won't be looking back on your life thinking what a lovely clean home you had, hopefully you'll be thinking of all the lovely people you were able to welcome into it

Why would anyone want to put their feet in your cheap slippers which have had Christ know who's rank feet in them? That's just disgusting.

I didn't say I demanded anything...I just don't know anyone that doesn't. That's all. I visit with a great many people each week (4 kids and voluntary work guarantees it!) and this has been my experience. I made no other comment than that. I'm sorry you appear to be so angry, and sorry if I somehow added to that.

@Bluelady was that aimed at me? If yes.
Allergies at home. And respect. And they know they are clean.
I take shoes of in everyone's houses too.

Not in mine, you wouldn't.

But I coordinated my shoes with my clothes: stop being silly. Everyone else will be barefoot/in socks or stockings as well...

Actually I've known a few who'd turn round a leave. Not very comfy, in bare feet or ripping your tights on a floor. Quite rude with a formal dinner party when people will be in dressy clothes.

@Bluelady unless it's filthy, I would. It's a habit I grew up with and being in someone's house with my sheos off makes me really uncomfortable. Luckily all my friends understand and tolerate me run around in socks or slippers

Why would anyone want to put their feet in your cheap slippers which have had Christ know who's rank feet in them? That's just disgusting.

I would assume they get washed after ever visitor. I would do that.