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Original poster

To ask all guests to take shoes off in my house?

774 replies

chardonm · 24/08/2018 00:21

Just that really. A few people seem really put off by that.

My dear sil has to be reminded several times before she takes them off.

I hate the thought of trailing the dirt inside the house.

OP posts:
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8
AnxiousPeg · 26/08/2018 16:39

still no replies... about what they do about athletes foot

I don't do anything Confused

On balance, I much prefer people to take their shoes off. I've been arguing on this thread as to why I think it's the more hygienic option.

But I don't insist on it. If someone didn't offer to take their shoes off, I would just go with it (whilst earnestly hoping they didn't have anything vile on their shoes...).

Just because we have a preference for no shoes it doesn't mean we've got a written policy on it...

Bluelady · 26/08/2018 16:40

So you'd be rude enough to refuse to do what I ask even though you expect me to respect your rules? Says it all really.

CharltonLido73 · 26/08/2018 16:42

What do the shoes off people do when they have parties?

We once received a party invitation which instructed us to wear pink and bring slippers as they had a shoes-off policy.
They were friends of my husband; I went for his sake, but I would have rather not gone.

AnxiousPeg · 26/08/2018 16:43

Bluelady you are being very aggressive.

I am tickled by those of the "shoes on" brigade who keep citing grand dinner parties as some sort of clincher! They're desperate for us to understand that they live in a Downton Abbey type set up Grin

OftenHangry · 26/08/2018 16:43

@Bluelady 🙄 I would expect you to respect rules in my home due to allergies. Unless you have a feet allergy, it's not the same. Glad we won't have to deal with this irl🙄 Seriously had never had a problem with anyone because I wanted to take my shoes off...

JennieLee · 26/08/2018 16:44

I have awkward feet that don't fit into fashionable shoes. As a result the shoes I do have have been carefully chosen often at some expense. I will sit in my socks or go barefoot if I end up somewhere and that's what my host clearly wants me to do. But I really, really do not want to put on some cheap slippers that have been worn by a succession of strangers and sprayed with disinfectant. (It would remind me of being in hospital and putting on one of those gowns before an operation.) I think if I ended up in that situation I would turn down any subsequent invitation and arrange to meet at a cafe instead.

CripsSandwiches · 26/08/2018 16:44

I'm still shocked that this topic can bring such strong opinions. Unless you have a rare medical condition it's not that big of a deal to just take your bloody shoes off. My DC take them off automatically (it was easier to teach them that rule and their shoes are usually filthy). I would expect anyone else just to follow what the host does.

I do have one friend who is so overly polite that when we visited his home and automatically took our shoes off and he thought it would be rude if he didn't too. After about an hour he asked us if we'd mind if he put his shoes back on as he didn't have socks on and his feet were cold.

OftenHangry · 26/08/2018 16:44

@AnxiousPegg I wondered if it looks like that just to me....

Cherrygardenst · 26/08/2018 16:44

So you'd be rude enough to refuse to do what I ask even though you expect me to respect your rules? Says it all really.

If you were having a fancy dinner party or just a party and there were women in heels and they said "oh my feet are really aching I think they've rubbed/they've cut/blister" you would force them to hobble around in pain because they cannot take their shoes off?

I wouldn't insist someone take their shoes off. But it is preferable to me.

Bluelady · 26/08/2018 16:46

It's exactly the same. If I respect your rules, you respect mine. And keep your shoes on in my house.

InertPotato · 26/08/2018 16:46

I am tickled by those of the "shoes on" brigade who keep citing grand dinner parties as some sort of clincher! They're desperate for us to understand that they live in a Downton Abbey type set up

That's such a weird assumption. I don't often (ever?) wear cocktail attire to my friend's houses, but I do often wear heels with jeans/trousers/a skirt/whatever to their houses for a dinner party. Surely this is not some upper-class affectation?

InertPotato · 26/08/2018 16:47

And yes, my heart does sink when I'm asked to take my heels off on Saturday night. Sad

OftenHangry · 26/08/2018 16:49

@Bluelady well, lucky I will never visit.

AnxiousPeg · 26/08/2018 17:01

That's such a weird assumption

Is it? It's weird to me that people are banging on about the integrity of their outfits at all these dinner parties as if that is what their life revolves around. To me, a dinner party would be the exception- it wouldn't really affect my day-to-day approach to my home. I'd even be prepared to let the normal shoes-off policy slide!! But, as I say, my life isn't punctuated by a round of formal social events...

JennieLee · 26/08/2018 17:04

I think copying the host/hostess doesn't really work. Because if that was the case you'd go into the kitchen and argue about which plates food should go on and open the fridge and say stuff like, 'God, I TOLD you to buy salad. Why didn't you buy salad?' or 'I want to watch Bake Off so can we please eat quickly then have the telly on'. Also you'd assume they were walking around barefoot because it was their house and they'd not had to drive miles across town in traffic to get from A to B. So if it really really matters to you that your guests remove their footwear please say so, because for some of us it is not normal behaviour at all.

Stupomax · 26/08/2018 17:05

Stupomax nowhere is that hot that you and your daughter couldn’t slip a pair of socks on for the short duration of a visit to someone else’s house.

Why do you assume every visit is short? Do all your friends turf you out as quickly as possible?

herworldoutsideit · 26/08/2018 17:08

If it is daytime I think it is okay. But for an actual party I think you have to be prepared to suck up stilletos. I have never been asked to remove shoes for evening do and would be very pissed off to be asked to. If I have made an effort to dress for the occasion, then the shoes are part of the occasion.

Cherrygardenst · 26/08/2018 17:12

Surely this is not some upper-class affectation?

Well, I don't know anybody who has dinner-parties for one, nobodies house is big enough. It would have to be in the garden Grin

AllesAusLiebe · 26/08/2018 17:14

Stupomax don’t be silly. Unless staying overnight, I’ll be at a friend’s house for a few hours on an evening. I often bring a pair of socks with me if I know in advance that they have a no shoes policy. It’s really not that difficult.

By the same logic, are you overstaying your welcome with your filthy flip flops?!

TheDowagerCuntess · 26/08/2018 17:26

Well, I don't know anybody who has dinner-parties for one, nobodies house is big enough. It would have to be in the garden

But surely it's not beyond the realms of understanding that other people do.

Stupomax · 26/08/2018 17:28

Stupomax don’t be silly. Unless staying overnight, I’ll be at a friend’s house for a few hours on an evening. I often bring a pair of socks with me if I know in advance that they have a no shoes policy. It’s really not that difficult.

We have very different lives. My friends would fall about laughing if I turned up with socks in summer.

PostNotInHaste · 26/08/2018 17:31

I used to automatically take my shoes off at people’s houses when the DC were little but i’ve noticed that times are changing as they get older and adults generally leave them on now.

This is a huge relief as after two bouts of Plantar Fascitis I don’t go bare foot any more. Unfortunately very good friend got new wooden floor and is now a shoes off house so am just going to have to make sure she comes here or we go out.

ShatnersBassoon · 26/08/2018 17:37

I'd rather people kept their shoes on in my house, and I'd rather keep mine on in other people's houses. Being shod makes for a quick getaway.

RoseWhiteTips · 26/08/2018 17:39

I'm sorry you appear to be so angry, and sorry if I somehow added to that.

Stop it. You are being disingenuous.
Are you playing Mumsnet Bingo?

campista · 26/08/2018 17:44

Hubby can't take off+put on shoes and would be embarassed with me doing it for him,so some visits just don't happen.......

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