To ask all guests to take shoes off in my house?

[chardonm]

Just that really. A few people seem really put off by that.

My dear sil has to be reminded several times before she takes them off.

I hate the thought of trailing the dirt inside the house.

A lot of schools are doing shoes off these days too. Nurseries too.

Is that to do with class?

I think the class thing on here is used to try to ridicule the shoes off people.

Here is a question for you all, I never wear shoes indoors because I am getting bunions as it is and I hate shoes. But if someone outside my immediate family visits unless they offer to take their shoes off I don’t care, even if they do go upstairs. If they offer I say yes unless it looks like it would be a pain (big boots with lots of laces or something) when I’d say not to bother.

When people talk about shoes on or off household, do they mean their own shoes or only the shoes of guests? Does anyone really want to go around with uncomfortable shoes on all the time in their own house?

Although when I was a kid I never bothered taking off my shoes (maybe THAT is why I have bunions...) unless I was sitting cross legged on the sofa or going to bed or something.

It's not uptight to ask people to take their shoes off, it's grim to keep your shoes on and trail crap from outside through someone else's house though.

We've got wood flooring downstairs, and people still take their shoes off (I've never had to ask anyone, they just do it) There are definitely no shoes upstairs on the carpet, that gives me the boak.

I honestly don't think there's a happy medium to this one - you either think people who prefer you take your shoes off are boring arse Hyancith Bucket types, or you're the type that thinks keeping shoes on makes you a bog dweller. You'll never convince one of the benefits of the other!

Massive apologies for the topic that has apparently been done to death. I've learnt a lot and will ponder. Feeling quite mortified actually that I may have caused anguish to my guests. Part of me hopes that the most vocal people in this thread are just exaggerating because it's MN.

Well it seems to me that it's a flippin minefield, some people expect you to take your shoes off, some don't, some people are disgusted if you do take them off.

I don't know many people that insist on shoes off, but of those that do most are worried about germs. I've even known people who disagree within their own houses.

I don't think any of it is worth getting insulted over.

Your house, your rules.

My advice is to offer clean socks and very clean slippers (either those to put in the wash or plastic / washable ones) to guests...

Some people won't want to be barefoot...

I know someone that offers their guests shoe covers. I feel like it's a very thoughtful solution. (But not practical if you're wearing heels. Really not!)

I must admit if someone offered me guest slippers (or worse socks), I wouldn't return.

I've no problem taking my shoes off and always offer but I draw the line at guest slippers.

If people have hard floors that are easily cleaned, and it's not wet/muddy outside, I do find it a bit much to insist on shoes off.

YANBU. I always ask when entering somebody's house if they would like me to take my shoes off. If I'm wearing ballet pumps with no socks and I know I'll be there more than a quick 5 mins then I take a pair of slipper socks in my bag.
I always expect the same courtesy in my home but equally am not forward enough to actually ask someone to remove their shoes! Work that one out!!

When I go to someone's house and they have carpet and especially if it's been raining I ask if they want me to take my shoes off.

We have a tiled hall way so I don't mind people walking into the house with their shoes on.

WizardOfToss

Thank you for your reply. Yes, the class dimension of this is fascinating, although, equally, a lot of other people would see it as manners issue. "Floors over people", that's a good way to put it. Or "keeping children germ-free" is another explanation.

Someone mentioned a vicar? This intruder will stay firmly outside! Or not even approach our satan's nest :))

One pub - who clearly thinks too much of itself - insists on boots off (or plastic bags on), even having slate floors. That is gross.

I'm fascinated by the guest slipper concept. Do people actually stock a full range of sizes to cater for guests? There's 9 sizes between me and DH. One size does not fit all. Actually very few slippers have ever sucessfully stayed on my feet if I lift my feet up to walk rather than shuffling around. Slippers are pretty dangerous, horrible things and just make your feet sweaty then cold.

The hall carpet in our house has survived for 30 years and the previous owner had dogs. A guest walking on it in their shoes is perfectly fine. I tend to find that people are pretty sensible about taking off anything really filthy and most of the time have done nothing worse than being on a pavement or in a car.

Shoes off in the UK will be a relatively new fangled fad since central heating became widespread. It would have been far too cild and draughty to have inflicted it on guests before then.

It’s not unreasonable just a bit inconsiderate.

I'm from an Italian family but grew up in Germany. We always wore shoes at home... It was just normal. I should however add that the downstairs of my parents house has a very clean stone floor with strategically placed carpets (yup, those ancient Persian ones). So there's that. I'm not sure that set-up would convince seemingly class anxious mumsnetters either...?

We used to have "slippers" (well, mostly Birkenstocks and similar shoes. Nothing fluffy) at school...

And I quickly got used to taking off my shoes when going to my friends' houses (particularly native Germans or Eastern Europeans).

Shoes off for formal events (boss comes over for supper etc...) or parties is imo rather unacceptable tbh.

I'm surprised over the guest slipper outrage. My childhood best friend's mother washed them after every guest...

Ah, but were they artisan slippers in the best MN tradition?

@MeyMary it is because people think that they aren't washed after each guest.

I only became shoes off when I worked and lived abroad. It just made sense. So when people start talking about class I find it amusing because I know various foreign cultures where shoes off is the norm and people who marry/live with someone from those cultures ends up doing shoes off as their norm.

Always do, I've never had to ask either it's normal here it seems. As we now are hardwood throughout it doesn't matter as much but people seem to want to

EllenJanesthickerknickers

What are artisan slippers?

I think I'd just give my guests plastic slipper (if we were in the shows off camp). I could just hose them down*... Very practical and no faff!

*The slippers, not the guests, btw.

@BlueBug45

That says more about these people's standards in my honest opinion. Who wouldn't wash the slippers? I used to love visiting friends from school who had non-stick socks for visiting children... Usually with fun animal cartoons etc.

My DB1's wife is shoes off. Their kids wear these slippers. It's adorable :)

Family take shoes off without being asked because they have no shoes in their houses as well.I'd never ask visitors to take off their shoes though. I take my slippers when visiting family because I don't like walking in bare feet.

I'm surprised over the guest slipper outrage. My childhood best friend's mother washed them after every guest...

How is a guest to know this. Unless you quiz the host about their laundering of slippers (and different people will have different opinions if cleaning, some may do a full wash, others a quick spray with Glen 20), or see the slippers come out of new packaging you are not going to put them on. Those hotel style one size fits all are also no go, no idea whose feet they actually stay on, DH can’t get his feet in and they flop off my feet.

I will take my shoes off if needed but will then go barefoot in whatever state my feet happen to be in. Unless they are brand new slippers in my size or the host presents me with video evidence of them cleaning suitably fitting slippers to my satisfaction they are not going on my feet. No need to be rude, just ‘no thanks, I don’t wear shoes that aren’t mine’.

For me it's nothing to do with whether the slippers have been washed. I just don't wish to be forced into somebody's slippers that they have chosen for me.

I choose my outfits and 'guest slippers' aren't part of it. If I'm visiting you and you're shoes off, I might make sure my toenails are painted and I've got on my good socks, but I'm not wearing your slippers thanks.

There was a similar thread a few years ago about someone's basket of guest artisan slippers. Lots of mickey taking ensued.

Just to add what we do.

In summer most people here wear flipflops or some kind of walking sandals, so even if they took them off, their feet are likely to be a bit dirty. I could offer them socks or slippers, but who wears socks/slippers in hot weather? And everyone's wandering in/out/in/out of the house while we BBQ/go to the firepit/grab salad from the kitchen/make drinks/go to the deck to eat/go back for dressing. I'd be mortified if all my guests were duly stopping each time they went in and out to carefully remove/replace socks/slippers. Talk about awkward and weird.

In winter everyone is wearing snow boots when they arrive. They take them off. No one treads snow and road salt into people's houses. They've got socks on underneath so they just wear those.

It's not about rules. It's just about what works best in each situation.