to wonder why some peoples lives are so easy compared to others?

[Ageingtofast]

Ok I know everyone has hard times and that's just the way of the world but do you ever feel like some people are just lucky and happen to be in the right place at the right time? I'll give you my example.
I'm an "actor" or at least trying to be, I spent 2 years at drama school and the rest of my time waitressing or doing any other job just to bring in some money, I'm now 29 and have found myself back home caring for my parents (I don't begrudge this as they have always been there for me) but I work hard continuing to pay for acting classes, getting new headshots done, applying for any opportunity that is even remotely related to the field I'm in but just can't catch a break. What really gets me is you can't get anywhere without an agent but can't get an agent if you don't have enough experience but you can't get any jobs without either of these so it is a bit of a vicious circle. Then you get celebrities and models who have no acting training but get given parts as they are popular and people will go and see the movies just because they are in them!!! Just makes me want to scream.
Sorry for the rant but this just kills me, I think it may be time to give up my Hollywood dreams and try and find a new career that I enjoy. Makes me even angrier that I've wasted 10 years and haven made it, I feel like such loser and am no better off than when I left school!!

You need to try and identify an alternative career and build that - yes, some people get their big break in their 30s but again, the number is tiny. All of the "never give up on your dreams" stuff is not very practical.

I would think about what you enjoy - I don't mean acting but draw on other jobs you have done. Do you like working under pressure? Do you prefer to be part of a team or working solo? Do you enjoying interacting with clients? Are you good with people who are rude/stressed/sad? Do you like organisation/structure?

Of the people I know who went to drama school (and legit ones like Lamda or a Russell group uni theatre studies degree)

1. barrister.
2. Supply teacher (regular extra on a soap too - trained full time and taught full time for two years to get qualified and experience then went supply to give him some flexibility, plus he is tough so isn't bothered with kids playing up)
3. Office manager/PA in the city
4. Furniture restoration (built on a hobby originally then trained in late 20s as an effective apprentice to someone experienced)
5. Software designer, focusing on user experience specialising in educational stuff (like BBC bitewise)
6. Marital arts teacher and trainer of actors in fighting/sword skills. Most earnings from kids marital aets lessons though

The furniture restorer keeps a hand in with trying to keep acting going but realistically is not leading lady material....and character roles are few and far between. I think she is great but that's not enough. She does appears in some stuff at Edinburgh festival most years but if she covers her costs, she is doing well. Even the people in an advert for frozen chips are much more attractive than average people..and when did you then see those actors again?

And work on reining in the anger towards those you think are "unworthy" of having become actors. I'm no One Direction fan but Harry Styles was fine in Dunkirk. He has spent his entire adult life "performing" and will undoubtedly of had lots of private acting coaching. Plus, he wasn't playing a role that much removed from who he is (beyond the setting).
Highly attractive models/celebrities who act play roles very much within their type - they aren't being Othello at the RSC. Again, they'll have trained just not at drama school. And the public will pay money to see attractive famous people. It isn't like a more normal career where success comes as a result of hard work.

Another thing about the envy: casting. Harry Styles isn't actually taking a role from you, is he, presuming that you are female? And if you are male, then only if you are the same casting type.

If you are a stocky brunette, then an ethereal-looking blonde isn't taking a part from you: you'd never have been cast in that part anyway. If you are a slim aristocratic-looking male, then a large body-builder is not depriving you of anything you could ever have had.

But I agree with pp that it looks as if you have come to the end of this particular road. So the trick now is not to let those 10 years be wasted. Use the skills you have learnt, the resilience you have learnt, what you have learnt about yourself and think about a career where you can put those to good use and not waste anything. Life is never wasted if you use what you learn from it. I spent 10 years out of my career, caring for a disabled child; now into my 50s I can see how those years, which on the surface have nothing to do with my work, are feeding into my career and making me better at what I do.

Basically, everything Mojo said. (though possibly "martial arts" was intended rather than "marital arts" which sounds a bit like some kind of gheisha-inspired soft-porn)

Out children go to theatre school (their choice, we aren’t pushy parents!) and they have an absolutely tremendous teacher. I have no doubt her first wish was to be an actor and she is very good looking and talented but never got her break. She now runs a series of successful theatre schools and they put in a huge production each year. You can see the huge satisfaction she gets from her job.

I think the key would be to build a career that builds on all the skills you do have but keeps some doors open to acting.

My relative was a very famous actor and even he always said it wasn’t a career anyone should go into! However I am stuck with a child like you (and my relative) who “has” to perform, and lives from show to show, so I do sympathise.

I recall our daughter wanting to go down a dance career route after she’d been in a couple of professional productions and was accepted for training with a good company. We had the conversation about career progression, limited chances of a full career and the ability to support herself financially. In the end she decagainst it because it was too high risk.
Acting is generally going to involve waiting or other filler activities. My understanding is it’s less about luck and more about contacts in that world. Daughter mentioned above has been offered chance to appear as an extra in MiC. We’ve said she should do it for fun. The opportunity is because she knows someone already working on the programme.
Perhaps you need to rethink your life plan and make your own luck?

A lot of the stories about how stars and models were ‘discovered’ are just that - stories. What sounds better: I saw a beautiful girl walking down the beach and I thought ‘she’s the star of my catwalk’ or ‘My sister in law asked if her best friend’s kid could be in my show. She looks ok so I said fine.’

We all want to be actors and artists and writers and painters and musicians. But we recognise that most can’t make a living doing that, so we train as accountants and play in a band on the weekend so as not to have ‘a hard life’.

You need to wake up.

tbf Bertie, some people do become painters and musicians and actors. But most of them accept that they are never going to be great and famous painters & musicians & actors. Possibly easier if your ideas of what you need to be happy are not too high-flying in the first place. To dd, the prospect of waitressing between small parts doesn't seem that much worse than her brother's hopes of getting apprenticed to a decorating firm or similar. Modest hopes, both of them. But some people do need to live modest lives, there isn't enough room at the top.

My dn recently revealed that he first decided he wanted to try for a musician when he was 12 years old. He never told anyone, just set himself the task of practising for 1 hour a day for a year and then up it to 2 hours the following year, then to 3 hours the year after that. He is just off to study at the Vienna conservatoire, which is probably the music equivalent of RADA. But he fully accepts that even with that in his luggage, he may well end up in a badly paid job in some mediocre orchestra- or unable to get work at all. So he has already thought up a plan B, involving a totally different career.

Life is often unfair on people, but in the Performing Arts world I think it is a case of far too many 'actors' and not enough roles. I would never ever have encouraged my dc to go down this route as for 99% of people it is a pipe dream not a realistic career path. I suppose for the ones that do make it it is like all walks of life; it is just as much the people you know rather than the skills you have.

Not sure we have to put 'actors' in quotation marks, nelly. If you have enough training/work experience to join Equity (which I am assuming the OP has), then I'd say you are an actor, just as much as my nephew was a carpenter when he had completed his apprenticeship and done his first few jobs. He was just as much a carpenter (not a 'carpenter') between jobs, though thankfully (due to a sudden building boom in his area) those times were few and far between. My BIL was a salesman even when he was unemployed, not a 'salesman'.

Cory I only put it in quotation marks as the OP did!

Apologies, nelly, had completely missed that.

Oh yes MARTIAL arts.
Teaching children marital arts is not an acceptable career