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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Paying for your nanny's lunches

98 replies

nannykins22 · 23/08/2018 20:30

Am I being unreasonable? I am the nanny.. I take care of 2 children. The mother gave me a hefty kitty to entertain the children for 4 days this week. I spent less than half of the kitty! On one of the days, I took the children for pizza for lunch - 99% of the time I make sandwiches, and never buy lunch, so the pizza was a treat. I work all day with no set lunch, I eat when the children eat..

When I submitted the breakdown of expenditure this week, the parent removed my pizza and drink, and only refunded me the children's expenses...

I think this is utterly unfair! To put into context, I NEVER submitted any additional expenses for my lunch, this was a one off!

Do you pay for your child carer's lunch? Within reason?!!! Am I being unreasonable?!!!

OP posts:

Panicmode1 · 23/08/2018 20:58

I used to give my nanny a kitty for the 3 days of the week she worked for me and ask for receipts, but how she spent it was broadly up to her... If she took the children to soft play, and bought herself a coffee/lunch for everyone then that was fine. If she'd run out of money on Day 2 of 3, then that meant she had to find something cheap/free to do on Day 3! I fed her every day that she worked for me however. I think it sounds very unreasonable of your employer.

BewareOfDragons · 23/08/2018 20:58

I'm always, always amazed about how mean and miserly people are when it comes to looking after people who are taking care of their most precious things ... their children!! FFS!

You have to say something. That's just stingy and mean behaviour under the described circumstances.

LeftRightCentre · 23/08/2018 21:01

Decline to take them if they don't pay. Twats.

ourkidmolly · 23/08/2018 21:01

Appalling. Confront them immediately. Direct and polite. People like this are truly unbelievable.

Feelingsad33 · 23/08/2018 21:08

Yanbu. Our nanny normally makes lunches but if she goes out for lunch/tea I absolutely expect her to pay out of the kitty!

SometimesMaybe · 23/08/2018 21:08

We have a nanny, would always cover nanny’s lunch in this instance. Shows you how you really view you.

fiorentina · 23/08/2018 21:10

We would pay for your lunch. In the same way our nanny makes her lunch at home/packed lunch for picnics, with our food. We leave her a purse of cash and trust her to use it wisely, I don’t ask for each receipt, she always spends wisely.

CripsSandwiches · 23/08/2018 21:24

YANBU that's ridiculous. What were you meant to do take them out for pizza and not eat anything?!

Bellabutterfly2016 · 23/08/2018 21:35

I think that's rude! If you were my nanny I'd pay!!!
I'd be having words with them Infact ask for a meeting and tell them things like this make you feel under-valued. It's not like you blew the whole budget!!!

If we have a babysitter I always leave a nice pizza or whatever they like and some snacks and you're "employed" by these tight arses, they should show you more respect.

Original poster

nannykins22 · 23/08/2018 21:35

Exactly! I am always reasonable with them and go above and beyond my responsibilities.. I never moan when they are late home etc... I was floored that they couldn't even stretch for a pizza and drink!

OP posts:

Feelingsad33 · 23/08/2018 21:39

Actually as another poster said. I don’t even check what she has spent the kitty on. I just keep an eye on the account so I can top it up if it gets low.

LipstickHandbagCoffee · 23/08/2018 21:39

Gosh they are stingy and Mean spirited.you were with their children,working
Beyond unreasonable to calculate and remove your food & soft drink cost

TokyoSushi · 23/08/2018 21:44

Gosh that's tight, if you only spent half the kitty and it was specifically to do some nice things during the holidays, and you don't do it all the time that's really bloody mean! YANBU OP!

BakedBeans47 · 23/08/2018 21:45

YANBU

theSnuffster · 23/08/2018 21:46

When I was a nanny I was allowed to use money from the kitty for my own meals if I'd taken the children out for the day. She wouldn't have expected me to pay for myself! I was also able to help myself to food while in the house too- I'd sometimes take my own lunch with my but not always.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes · 23/08/2018 21:48

I paid for my nanny’s lunch. She is taking my kids out and giving them a lovely time. All part of the cost.

bastardkitty · 23/08/2018 21:49

Stop going above and beyond. If you're asked to do additional duties, say no. Start looking for another job. That is beyond petty. I agree, I bet they are loaded. Stingy bastards.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 23/08/2018 21:53

I'll go the other way on this.

I employ a nanny. She brings her own child. I can't afford to feed them both as well as my own 3 children and myself.

I don't really care how others would view that. I am low paid and pay using tax credits for a nanny. The only reason I need a Nanny is because I work 12.5 hour shifts where childcare isn't avaliable and I am a single parent.

I do leave money for activities, but given I can hardly afford to take my children out myself, my budget is £15 per day. I can't stretch to lunches out for others (or the children really).

bastardkitty · 23/08/2018 21:55

That's a pretty different scenario to OPs where she spent less than half the budget given to entertain the kids for 4 days and then was made to pay for her own food and drink.

Candyflip · 23/08/2018 21:56

Would you have been eating shitty pizza and a soft drink if it weren’t for their children? Your employers are mean twats, I would raise it with them, and in future don’t take the kids anywhere exciting.

greenlanes · 23/08/2018 21:57

I would tighten up on them being late home at the end of the day. What does it say about that in your contract? Perhaps start that in Sept with new school year so they dont associate their meanness with your new focus on your contract.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 23/08/2018 21:58

@ThisMustBeMyDream I appreciate your situation, but the OP was well within the budget allocated, including the pizza. If she had been given a £15 a day budget, I imagine she wouldn't have gone out for pizza.

OP, YANBU. I suggest you address this now. No-one I know pays for a working lunch.

LittleBearPad · 23/08/2018 21:59

How mean. I wouldn’t have dreamt of deducting the cost.

WellErrr · 23/08/2018 22:03

Hmmm. We have a nanny and she massively takes advantage at times. If we paid for her meal out every time she fancied taking the kids to Pizza Hut she'd be there every week. So I'd deduct it too in our case.

I think it totally depends.

DonaldLovesDoritos · 23/08/2018 22:03

f you're in a café or restaurant and the children are eating, you have to have something, don't you, otherwise you wouldn't all be allowed to stay. You'd have to have at least a drink

I really don't think this is true

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