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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH thinks I’m being pretentious

346 replies

ramalamadingdong1 · 21/08/2018 23:25

This is so ridiculous but DH and I have been having a jokey arguement about this tonight and I think he IBU but I’m prepared to be told different.

I’ve recently bought a shelves for our living room and have started putting book on it. I’m an avid reader and fluentish in another language having studied it at university and lived in the country. I’ve put the English versions of the books I studied on the shelf and love getting them down to read parts of them.

My DH is not a reader and can’t understand this. However, a friend of his was round the other night and commented on the books. I explained I’d studied them at university in their original language and still enjoyed reading them albeit in English.

Tonight my DH laughingly said he thought I sounded pretentious going on about university and keeping these books on display. I only answered a question about them and there were plenty of other books there!

Now I’m wondering if I should just hide my books!

WIBU to display them?

OP posts:
IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 21/08/2018 23:26

What else does he think goes onto bookshelves?

Thehop · 21/08/2018 23:27

Of course YANBU

Is dh educated to the same level? Could he be feeling a bit put out?

DickensianHysteric · 21/08/2018 23:27

Of course YANBU, or pretentious. Your DH sounds like a twit.

steff13 · 21/08/2018 23:27

They're just books on bookshelves aren't they? What would he put there?

BIWI · 21/08/2018 23:29

He's being a twat. He's jealous and has a chip on his shoulder about your education and desire to read. Ignore him.

Ruleof4 · 21/08/2018 23:30

I have two leaning shelves in my house; one displays interior design books I use for my inspiration in my business and the second has fiction that are currently on my reading list! A great conversation starter and actually I love reaching for them if I have a spare moment, I wouldn't say pretentious. I can't fit my accounting or economics books on there or I would! Lol I realise how pretentious my reading list sounds!

PrincessoftheSea · 21/08/2018 23:30

LTB

Ohyesiam · 21/08/2018 23:30

Not pretentious at all( and I have a very sensitive pretentiousometer). It’s just part of your life and skill set.

If you had the books up there just and had never read them, that would be a different thing.
Husband sounds a bit intimidated by you.

CSIblonde · 21/08/2018 23:31

Books of any kind in the house are perfectly normal. Is he less educated than you & insecure about it?

9amTrain · 21/08/2018 23:32

What's pretentious about that?!

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 21/08/2018 23:33

It makes me sad that I can’t have my bookshelves in the living room (because of stupid wall lights/other furniture) I have so many books and like to have them out on display. Instead I have a wall of books in my office. About 8 are DP, the rest of two massive bookshelves are mine. I love seeing books in people’s homes. So no, YANBU or pretentious. Also children who grow up in homes where books are out and accessible are consistently better readers and gain higher grades in exams - so it’s the best option for everyone.

NotTakenUsername · 21/08/2018 23:34

Not pretentious.
But if it’s his friend perhaps he and his friend would wrongly label it this way and so he was wrongly embarrassed by you in front of his friend?

Pretentious is something else entirely.

Dahlietta · 21/08/2018 23:36

If you were truly pretentious (like me), you wouldn't read books in translation when you could read them in their original language. Tell him that!

Uncreative · 21/08/2018 23:40

Your DH sounds insecure. But then I love books and still have many from uni twenty years on. Shit, it has been twenty years! I’m old! I’m going to read a book to comfort myself.

TatianaLarina · 21/08/2018 23:40

YABU to marry a man who doesn’t read.

CSIblonde · 21/08/2018 23:41

Posted too soon. On my shelves I've my study books as I'm retraining, a collection of first edition Marilyn Monroe coffee table books, then all the crime, fiction & bio's I read on the work commute.( can't resist the brand new/unread charity shop ones at £2 each)

nocoolnamesleft · 21/08/2018 23:41

I probably am a little bit pretentious. Books are what turn my* house into a home.

*I realise for other people it might be other things. Like, say, cats.

JuneMyNameIsJune · 21/08/2018 23:42

Books 'on display'! You're DH is an idiot.

However, I do know that he's not alone. We've had people comment on the fact we have books in every room (er, yes, because we all read them!).

Once, when I had a HV attend after DC4 was born, I apologised because there were toys and books everywhere. She said that it was lovely to see because she often went to homes where there were no books at all.

Notonthestairs · 21/08/2018 23:43

Presumably you've bought book shelves - clue is in the name.
Stick a bit of Dan Brown/50 shades up there so he feels less threatened 🙄

JuneMyNameIsJune · 21/08/2018 23:44

I also LOVE looking at other peoples books. It's nice to see new possibilities, old favourites and talk about shared interests.

nakedscientist · 21/08/2018 23:45

YADNBU!

Simples!

Holidayshopping · 21/08/2018 23:47

What are the books? So we can judge how pretentious you are!

BlueJava · 21/08/2018 23:47

Clearly we are over the top pretentious then.... have about um... maybe 800 books. On shelves all over the house. English, French, Mandarin.

Camomila · 21/08/2018 23:48

Nah of course not.

My personal test of pretentious book shelves is if they only have ‘fancy’ books on them and the paperbacks are hidden away somewhere.
That’s tongue in cheek - I don’t really care that’s much. If someone had say all leather bound hardbacks or had arranged their books by colour i’d admire the pretty ness of it.

MarthaArthur · 21/08/2018 23:50

If he doesnt want "bookson display" as they are pretentious you should take them down.

Replace them with the most pretentious art you can find and bang on about the brush techniques and the art movement etc etc until he caves and brings the books back.