AIBU to get annoyed when someone asks “is it a boy or a girl”

[Yaasshun]

In relation to a 10 week old baby?

YABU

Someone else’s baby has very little distinguishing features beyond age and sex. They’re just being polite and showing an interest.

Would you rather they ask who PFB’s favourite composer is?

I remember at jurnior school we had to take baby and toddler photos in. It was impossible in most of the photos to work out who was a boy and who was a girl.

I wouldn't stress about it as people are trying to make conversation.

You could have fun with it and change your baby's sex but keep the same name e.g. have a boy named Sue.

A lady thought my DS was a girl because he was in white... And then apologised profusely. All a bit OTT- I’m not offended at the idea I have a daughter, and he was six months old so pretty unidentifiable! 😂

Don’t be offended, OP, it’s not worth the mental space.

I've never, ever asked the sex of a dog

It’s hard to tell with babies unless they are wearing bright pink with frills and a weird hair bow . They all look the same.

My DS was mistaken for a girl for the first three years of his life. It didn’t matter what he was wearing, everyone called him a girl. I think it was the big grey eyes and long lashes... I have no idea.

Yeah, I usually ask the breed of dogs. I hope that’s not offensive to anyone.

YANBU OP. I'd be outraged, etc. How very dare anyone attempt to assign gender to a newborn human? You should ask them if they meant to be so rude and then to go away and think about what they have said....

...or you could just answer the innocuous questions people ask when they're making polite small talk about babies.

It’s a very standard question for people to ask. Usually they’re just trying to show polite interest.

The question that really irritated me was “is he a good baby?”
As if a tiny baby is even capable of being bad!

YABU.

Actually I’ve never asked the sex of a dog either, why would you?

I remember being in the supermarket with my DD dressed from head to toe in a (hideous ) pink outfit with headband my aunt had bought,as en route to visit said aunt.
Lady approached pram.Is it a boy or a girl? she asked
You have just had a baby ,nothing you do is unreasonable

I got round this by asking the babies name. Doesn't help when they have a unisex name like Sam or Alex though!

I never minded being asked. I did mind being told I must be disappointed for having another boy.

I have asked the sex of dogs as I like to know which pronouns to use (I am besotted with dogs though and so will have full on conversations with them if allowed to)

Some babies are bad ....sleepers/feeders/settlers. That is all they are asking. What they are really asking is how is it going? Why deliberately take the hump. It’s such a waste of energy being so obtuse.

I don't think it's the case that it is always hard to tell. My DD did look like a girl from day one and I don't recall anyone referring to her as a boy. She did have a dark head of hair and long dark lashes to match on fairly pale skin so I think people could assign a gender to her more easily but my son was a pretty boy and sometimes as a young toddler with blond girls but dark long eyelashes was referred to as a girl.

I don't think it's offensive but people come out with anything just to make a comment on a baby.

”The question that really irritated me was “is he a good baby?” angry
As if a tiny baby is even capable of being bad!”

Haha, my FiL asked this the other day. My face went blank, I’d never even considered the idea of calling a baby good or bad! Nuts, bless him.

Can you explain why OP?

My DS was mistaken for a girl for the first three years of his life. It didn’t matter what he was wearing, everyone called him a girl.

We had that too
One time, after he’d been introduced as Douglas* while wearing very boy-gendered clothes, we even had “Douglas is a very unusual name for a girl, isn’t it?”

Yes. It is. We called our son Douglas instead of a more girly name because he’s a boy.

(* he’s not really a Douglas, but his actual name is just as unusual in girls as Douglas is)

I understood the "is he/she good?" question related to whether they cried a lot and/or were good sleepers.

Not that it's a 100% failsafe but I'd ask the name in the hope of ascertaining the sex.

Sorry but you are being oversensitive

Two DC later and I still can't tell the sex of a tiny baby (or pretty much up to a year) without an obvious sign

If I hadn't known my DC were boys I wouldn't have bet my chances of knowing them either

I agree with the stupidity of the question " are they a good baby?"....well he did knock over the local off licence before nap time last week but we assume it's just a phase

I did once tell my mother not to worry about the cat near the baby because I would give him a shank and let him defend himself (said cat was a room away and fast asleep so not currently a massive threat to the baby but ya never know )

Actually, I hate boy/girl for dogs. They are dogs or bitches. Anthropomorphism is grim.

AIBU to be offended by being asked whether YABU to be offended by this?

I think we’re running out of things to be offended by.

Oh ffs. 4GreenApples they're not asking you if he's got a 666 birthmark under his babygro somewhere and has he embarked on his career path of chaos and destruction yet, they're simply asking if he's an easy baby with regard to feeding, sleeping and generally being settled.

Buy your baby one of those “my pronouns are...” badgers and you’ll be sorted

Haha I still get this and ds is 4 months, though he does have rather long eyelashes. ... XD