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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some posters are naive about SS?

999 replies

fudgeraisinbiscuit · 21/08/2018 10:29

I see many posts where people seem to believe either that SS will offer support and that parents who are loving and coping but struggling can contact them for a hand-hold, or posts where people believe a not ideal yet normal situation can and should be reported.

AIBU to think posters are naive about what SS actually do?

OP posts:
Tessliketrees · 21/08/2018 11:52

Discussing public services is very unhelpful? I don't agree at all, I think it's imperative that these things are discussed

Completely agree with this and the rest of what you said. We have loads of threads on here talking about medical professionals etc being crap. Rarely does anybody feel the need to wade in and call the people complaining liars and fantasists and accuse them of demonising the whole medical community.

Onthebrink87 · 21/08/2018 11:52

There seems to be a bit of a tinfoil hat conspiracy type attitude from some (Not just this thread or even MN) do people really think that Mr and Mrs Jones secret millionaires are sending SW's out canvassing areas for a blonde haired blue eyed baby boy? Listening out for a raised voice or looking for an unkempt lawn to use as an excuse?

boredmaman · 21/08/2018 11:54

Rarely does anybody feel the need to wade in and call the people complaining liars and fantasists and accuse them of demonising the whole medical community

Because rarely do they demonise the whole community in the same way? With sW you get "they are ALL evil/useless/dangerous/baby snatchers/liars" etc etc.

GoatWithACoat · 21/08/2018 11:55

@tesslike

Yes they are used, that’s a different thing altogether and I was just saying to PP they cannot just walk into a home and take children on a whim.

I am sure they are misused but I know I am very lucky that the area I work has one of the best ratings. I have yet to see them being misused (in my opinion) although no doubt it happens.

The biggest concern I have currently is misinformation between agencies. An example (details changed) being told the children are developmentally behind for 3 & 5 and I find they are 1 & 3. Or being told something is because of neglect then finding out the child cannot walk due to a disability.

The good and bad thing about multi agency work is communication. I will always write factual, non judgemental reports, correcting any misinformation I’ve been given. This information will be shared in conferences and court. However, i know not everyone shares information correctly and effectively, nor interprets and actions it in the right way. This, as far as I can see is the biggest issue the system currently currently faces.

HollyGibney · 21/08/2018 11:56

@GoatWithACoat your posts are great. Am finding them really informative. Thanks Smile

GoatWithACoat · 21/08/2018 11:57

Apologies for the poor grammar/ repeated words. Really struggling doing this on my phone Confused

Oliversmumsarmy · 21/08/2018 11:57

One of my friends opened the door to SWs who barged past her into the house and told her that they were having her dd. They already had a foster family lined up and waiting for her and there was no use trying to defend herself.

Her ex on being tracked down by CSA had phoned SS telling them that friend was a prostitute and other ridiculous claims.

It was the start of a year where she felt like she had gone down the rabbit hole.

I saw the report they did on her and it was unreadable. It didn’t make sense. There wasn’t one thing they put on one page that they refuted on the next page.

After a year of stress the whole thing was thrown out.

Another friend who qualified as a SW when pregnant. Health visitor reported her for over feeding her baby and purposely making baby obese.

She was told by SS that her dc was too heavy and given a weight they expected her to be which was virtually what child was as a newborn or dc would be given to a family who would be able to keep her weight under control.

They didn’t take account of the fact baby was twice the length of other babies and father was a very very tall guy

It got so nasty that friend decided she couldn’t face going for a job as a SW.

Even I have been contacted by SS and dd and ds put on the at risk register.

I can’t think they are overstretched as the complaint put in by a nurse at a walk in clinic.
Ds had strained his ankle at football practice.
Apparently home schooling is a red flag and ds not having brushed his hair was another. Ds was 15 and dd was 17 at the time. If they were so overstretched why waste time on someone like us.

Original poster
fudgeraisinbiscuit · 21/08/2018 11:57

No, on

However, I do think that there is a certain amount of cynicism.

Severing a baby from her parents is an extreme act that should only be done in extreme circumstances. As such, I am cynical when younger children are removed and older children stay. I am cynical when babies are removed and words like ‘could’ ‘might’ feature.

OP posts:
Tessliketrees · 21/08/2018 11:59

@boredmaman

So that justifies it then? Don't talk about social services mistakes because you might upset social workers?

Batmanwearspants · 21/08/2018 11:59

Sorry I’m just laughing at the assertion that social workers get paid 50k. My manager doesn’t even get that.

Pay for newly qualifieds start at around the 28k mark. At the moment the maximum you can be paid as a bog standard social worker in my local authority is around 32k. You can then become an advance practitioner which is more responsibility and be paid for up 20 36k. Then social work managers up to around the 40 mark.

SusanWalker · 21/08/2018 12:00

I think it depends on the social worker you are assigned. I know someone who had a very similar experience to you ThinksTwice. Other professionals opinions weren't listened to, the SW had made her mind up what the problem was before she had even done any investigations and when any evidence contradicted her preconceptions she ignored it. If her advice had been followed by the family in question the child could be dead by now.

I had a short involvement with a social worker because of my child's autism and she was very nice. However it would have been very easy for her to take my circumstances and present them in a completely different light.

Sockwomble · 21/08/2018 12:00

My child has had ss involvement for a few years because of severe disability. I'm pretty sure they are not trying to snatch them away but they have been no practical help either. This is due partly to local authority having no money and partly due to them not being prepared to give the help that parents need.

boredmaman · 21/08/2018 12:01

So that justifies it then? Don't talk about social services mistakes because you might upset social workers?

If you have a problem with A social worker, talk about THAT social worker. Same as any other profession. Don't rant and rave about how they are all evil.
Not least because it will make people not believe you anyway.

Of course people who have involvement with SS hate it, and often the people involved, but that doesn't mean the SW are bad, in fact it usually means the opposite. People being investigated for abuse and neglect don't tend to sing the praises of the people investigating, do they?

imsoboredwithitall · 21/08/2018 12:02

YES! Totally agree with you

auntethel · 21/08/2018 12:02

I'm pleased ghosty has gone to work, she needs to calm down a bit. I wonder why so defensive? Thinkstwice, my experience was like yours, where they made an already difficult situation a hell of a lot worse, upset the children no end. Yet the area we'd moved from, a few hundred miles away, they'd been lovely and very helpful, supportive.

Original poster
fudgeraisinbiscuit · 21/08/2018 12:03

I could not be further away from ranting and raving Grin

OP posts:
boredmaman · 21/08/2018 12:03

One of my friends opened the door to SWs who barged past her into the house and told her that they were having her dd. They already had a foster family lined up and waiting for her and there was no use trying to defend herself

Like that. Of course that is what they will tell other people, not the real story, which was nothing like that.

boredmaman · 21/08/2018 12:04

Even I have been contacted by SS and dd and ds put on the at risk register

This poster has been talking for years on MN about her children being put on the at risk register because they had unbrushed hair. Does anyone actually believe such nonsense?

Pengggwn · 21/08/2018 12:05

I wouldn't trust or rely on SS, for the simple reason that they are going to act in the interests of my child, not in my interests. Happily, at the moment my interests don't diverge from those of my child (she is a happy, well-cared for little girl and we have had no SS involvement), but the moment I was struggling with my MH, or any issue presented itself that could present a risk to my child, I would be nothing short of terrified of them. And I wouldn't trust them as far as I could throw them.

rubyroot · 21/08/2018 12:06

There were/are adoption targets where there's a cash incentive for councils to meet adoption targets- this could affect how SS operate in some areas. I'm not sure if these targets are still going though.

HollyGibney · 21/08/2018 12:06

I am afraid I do not see any ranting and raving and whole sale slagging off of social workers on this thread either. People just want to understand and yes sometimes need to be corrected. It's rarely allowed to happen as these kinds of threads are usually shut down really quickly.

Tessliketrees · 21/08/2018 12:06

@GoatWithACoat

You post implied children would be in the home until there was court involvement. This is not the case, indeed there has been a number of published cases in recent years were judges have been fucking furious at social services for maintaining voluntary arrangement for long periods of time, in one case nine fucking years.

When I was searching for original post I saw this

"salaries start at around 32k rising to 50k"

There is massive regional variation, one local authority I know starts at 24k.

ThinksTwice · 21/08/2018 12:07

"she is educated and articulate. What happens when people are not?"

I often wondered that when I complained. I wrote out a very researched, detailed complaint and took it to stage 2 so two independent bodies could investigate rather than the ridiculous self governing shambles that is stage 1 (sitting in a room with two people from Ss deciding their own outcome about a complaint made against them is not effective!)

I used to think how on earth do people who struggle with communication/education/writing and/or are vulnerable deal with Ss? Where they don't necessarily have the fight in them to pull Ss up on where they have gone wrong and hold them to it?

I wasn't even my full self having just split from a marriage, I was quite low and was being kicked down further by Ss.

Tessliketrees · 21/08/2018 12:08

If you have a problem with A social worker, talk about THAT social worker. Same as any other profession. Don't rant and rave about how they are all evil

Has that happened a lot on this thread then?

tworoundsofwaterplease · 21/08/2018 12:08

YANBU. Most definitely NBU.