To think some posters are naive about SS?

[fudgeraisinbiscuit]

I see many posts where people seem to believe either that SS will offer support and that parents who are loving and coping but struggling can contact them for a hand-hold, or posts where people believe a not ideal yet normal situation can and should be reported.

AIBU to think posters are naive about what SS actually do?

That sounds like you are blaming SS for an awful lot, to a level they couldn't possibly have managed to influence. Psychiatrists dont assign blame in that way as well.

I'm sure its your truth, that doesn't mean it is the objective truth.

"Everything righted itself once they withdrew. What does that say for SS?"

Yes to this 1000x!

All true with documented evidence, I'm afraid. Difficult to accept isn't it?

I'm sorry, I think I've missed something.

Your DS is not able to write because of SS intervention? Is this trauma related?

The saddest part of this thread is if you ask any social worker what it is SS are there for they will say "we are here to help and support families." Then when you ask families who have had SS in their lives too many say "they didn't actually help our family at all, they were just a hindrance who caused stress, worry and anxiety and misled/lied/made assumptions."

You have left out a couple of rather large things that somewhat change the picture. A little put down there for Asyouare, who has been brave enough to come and share her horrific experience. Just sooo hard to accept the truth isn't it?

I find that a lot of parents who call them child snatchers have there blinkers on and don't see that they are the problem. One example a family I knew both drug addicts drugs around the children etc. Claimed ss was child snatchers instead of recognising what they had done. One of my very good friends is currently going through Dv the council wouldn't move her at all away from him, she's just been housed in an new area closer to family a lovely house by social services who finally got the council to help. No more ss involvement she went to them for help.

Thinkstwice, some people on this thread have said how helpful SS were and what a difference their support made to be fair.

Foster carer here. I agree with flapjack. One of the children in my care was removed 9 years ago.
I have good relationship with their parents but they insist child should not have been removed as it was only because their house was dirty.
In the last 9 years mum has been beaten by dad numerous times.
Both have been homeless, living in hostels, both have abused drugs and alcahol.
Goodness knows what would have happened to this child if they had been left at home.
The child was placed for adoption but no suitable adopters could be found.
Before they were placed for adoption many family members came forward to take the child. Most withdrew when they realised the intrusive interviews that carers need to go through.
The others weren't suitable.
Children are not just snatched to meet adoption quotas.
Some SW are good, some rubbish but it is not the descision of one person that determines a child's future.

A little put down there for Asyouare, who has been brave enough to come and share her horrific experience. Just sooo hard to accept the truth isn't it?

Well no, thats not it. Asyouare shared only part of her experience, the part where she feels SS got everything wrong. But not the part that shows why she had SS involvment in the first place, or the parts that led to the adoption of her child.
A small portion of the truth presented as the real truth is hard to accept, yes, because it doesn't explain anything.

hen when you ask families who have had SS in their lives too many say "they didn't actually help our family at all, they were just a hindrance who caused stress, worry and anxiety and misled/lied/made assumptions.

some say that, of course. And some (on this thread even, so you can;t not know about them) say how helpful and supportive they were.

No, but it can be the decision of one person and her team leader that ruins a child's future.

Or makes the childs future far better.

ThinksTwice when I worked as a front line child protection social worker I was pretty clear that I wasn't there to help and support families, I there was there to protect DC and ensure the best outcomes for them. Often this would be best done by helping and supporting families but not always and my focus was on the impact for the DC not the parents.

Previous post to Cassimin

toomany the injustice in asyouare's case was confirmed by her new sw.

Yes, she does say that. But she also says other things that don't sound very likely.
Like I and many others have said, rarely do people see things the way the system does and that doesn't make them right. No mother admits that the SS were right to take their child and have them adopted.

"Thinkstwice, some people on this thread have said how helpful SS were and what a difference their support made to be fair."

I realise that which is why I said too many not all families.

Too many is too much. We are talking about SS lying, making assumptions and going about things in the incorrect way which is effecting people's lives. It's like there's a corrupt system going on where SS are covering up each other's mistakes and no one ever admits to any wrong doing even when it's proved mistakes have been made to distressing consequences.

Unhappy people always shout the loudest. And your situation leads to a lot of confirmation bias, so it makes sense that you personally are aware of unhappy people. But that doesn't mean there are very many unhappy people compared to happy people, and it doesn't mean the unhappy people are telling the truth about why they are unhappy.

You keep talking about SS lying and affecting lives, what about the parents lying and affecting lives?

For myself and dh, we actually don't/didn't care what they did to us. We only cared that they were damaging the children. Horrible position to be in, to watch your kids being kept apart and damaged for no other reason other than they could. I've seen other experiences on here where the mothers are the same. Angry and upset about the effect on their children. I suspect Asyouare won't be bothered at all about some cold hearted people on here disbelieving her. She has her baby, she will be reunited with her other ds one day and her account has been fully scrutinised and validated by a decent sw.

Parents of children who are cruelly and unjustly treated shout the loudest!! Oh wait, no they don't, they're gagged by the family courts.

No social worker has ever been given permission by a court to remove dc, "just because they can". You may not agree with the reasons given, you have thought social workers manipulated the truth, or made things up or exaggerated risks but you cannot think some one woke up one morning and thought it would be fun to take a dc into care and the whole multi disciplinary system just fell in behind this.

And don't forget what spero the family lawyer said. Focus is on removal rather than support.

Isn't it strange? So many parents who are so wrong. Thousands of us now and as children grow up, more will be speaking out and giving individual names. Then there'll be apologies from government as there was with Gordon Brown, Australia etc. Hold on to your hats social workers.

It's not really the same thing though is it?

Eugenics on a national scale, based in nationalism - v - protecting children from direct and ongoing abuse.

What would you suggest be done about 5 / 6 year old kids being neglected to the point of eating frozen food directly from a freezer rather than starve? Having no clothes to wear because birth mother can't organise herself enough to make sure their clothes fit them / are clean or don't have holes in? Being exposed to drug use and pornography? Being groomed for sexual abuse and probably (as it turns out), abused? Having over 15 broken bones by the age of 6 months and not having been washed more than a few times in their life time? When repeated attempts to support the birth parent fail and the birth family are no able to provide the support and stability that the child needs?

Are you really comparing this to the situation in Australia where children were removed from parents because of their ethnicity?