To think some posters are naive about SS?

[fudgeraisinbiscuit]

I see many posts where people seem to believe either that SS will offer support and that parents who are loving and coping but struggling can contact them for a hand-hold, or posts where people believe a not ideal yet normal situation can and should be reported.

AIBU to think posters are naive about what SS actually do?

Definitely record everything

Also if they ask you to go for any "tests" make sure you get an independent person not one who are paid by SS.

The rationalisation of SS is a middle class concept. If you lived in a hugh rise in poverty your perceptions would be different
we all agree if the McMcans were not white and doctors the smaller child would have been removed we also know sw have grace concerns about the mother who killed her disabled twins but didn’t escalate because they were white and middle class witch is the universes get out of jail free card on most situations

I a black women from a council estate killed her twins she would be going to jail not hospital

A list of who apparently makes money and are said to be keen to keep doing so.

‘1: Fosterers typically £400/ week per child
2: Special children’s homes typically £7,000/ week per child
3: Lawyers and court costs typically £500,000 per case
4: Experts typically £28,000 for a simple report.
5: Adoption agencies make £millions (£18,000/placement)
6: Local authorities get £millions hitting adoption targets’

I’m not sure what to make of it tbh.

I can just see their report now! "Mr exdh is living in a 3 bed, detached house, lovely outdoor space, spacious rooms." Then when my mums was described they said "mrs thinktwice is living in a two bed terrace." That was it! He got a description as though an estate agent was selling it and I got "two bedroom terrace."

My mums was a lovely 2 bed terrace with big rooms and her garden was beautiful. But that wouldn't have fit with the image they were giving me.

"Mrs thinktwice, an untreated depressed mother living in a two bed mid terrace with her mother."

When it was actually "mrs thinktwice, a mother and wife who has just left an asshole husband so is a bit low, has depression on and off but isn't on meds at the moment because she doesn't feel her depression is too bad but will consider meds if it's gets worse again. Currently living in her mums spacious 2 bed house with beautiful garden whilst she sorts out a house of her own to buy."

SS also couldn't tell the difference between clinical depression and saddness/shock/grief from a break up.

It's so shocking the lack of awareness and understanding.

ThinksTwice that is outrageous.

My report said 'FourFried claimed that she left her husband because he hit her, but he assures me that this is not true'.

A list of who apparently makes money and are said to be keen to keep doing so.‘1: Fosterers typically £400/ week per child

As a very experienced foster carer, tending to deal with the most damaged young people, I receive £140 per week per child and that includes everything.

ThinksTwice

That's dreadful.

I am in the category of people who wouldn't seek help for depression in case I ended up on someone's radar for being a "depressed mother" - and I think that's really sad.

Pen I hear you. I had been to the gp over the years about depression to get meds when I felt the need etc. After social services involvement and because of the fact they could access my medical history, it took me a very long time to access the GP again about my mental health. I had 0 trust in any authority figure, especially the GP because it goes on record.

I really struggled through a depressive state a year later and ended up with suicidal thoughts. I did seek help through the last episode but the trust took a long time to build again.

I think if you have a system where a SW can write something on a CPP that isn't true, agree it's not true when challenged, but then says that the report cannot be changed once it has been done and that they will add a note about it in the next report. Then note it in the next report, but in a way that implies it was a problem that has now been resolved, and you know that report will remain on your records, then there is a problem with the system.

I agree that personal prejudices are rife. I had issues with a teacher at my sons school who wouldn't accept he had any kind of additional need, any issues he had was the fault of my parenting and who made my life even more stressful than it already was. The look of shock on her face when she found out i had a degree was priceless. Funnily enough her attitude towards me changed after that. If she'd referred me to SS the referral would have been extremely prejudicial.

Helford I think the article I was reading was referring to private fostering agency, like this one,

simplyfostering.co.uk/how-to-be-a-foster-carer/fostering-allowance/

As I said I’m not sure what to make of it!

SS are hell to deal with in my experience. I wouldn't contact them willingly under any circumstances and I definitely wouldn't trust them to 'lend some support' YANBU

Claw001

A list of who apparently makes money and are said to be keen to keep doing so.

‘1: Fosterers typically £400/ week per child

Lies

www.gov.uk/foster-carers/help-with-the-cost-of-fostering

During the investigation into my complaint it was actually picked up that his house was described in a way an estate agent selling it would and my mums was just a "two bedroom mid terrace."

The people investigating only go on facts they can prove and that was there written in black and white!

So yes, SS do, and will, treat people differently and more favourably if they are well off, live in nice houses and appear middle class.

Claw001 Please read
www.gov.uk/foster-carers/help-with-the-cost-of-fostering

Most foster carers work for the LA

And private agency’s have harder to place children

Teens
Disabled children

And sibling groups of 4 or more

When I was fostering teens are hard work I foster d Babies but 400 per week is not enough to to foster a teen girl who had raped and had a baby by her own father

I fucking think they deserve more tbh

think if you have a system where a SW can write something on a CPP that isn't true, agree it's not true when challenged, but then says that the report cannot be changed once it has been done and that they will add a note about it in the next report. Then note it in the next report, but in a way that implies it was a problem that has now been resolved, and you know that report will remain on your records, then there is a problem with the system.

as an adopter a lot of us find things were omitted or lies were told things you later find out

A bit of common sense woudnt go amiss here.

If social workers were making money from selling babies why is there a chronic shortage of them? If LAs were making millions why are services so poor.
Foster carers are doing a job, a very difficult and undervalued job, would you work for nothing. The FC has to feed, clothe and pay all expenses for the child out of their fee, including keeping a roof over their heads.

I'm an adopter, I did not buy my son. Local authorities have targets relating to children already in care, not to go plucking them off the streets or stealing them.

It costs LAs to train adopters and provide support. Yes there are interagency fees when an adopters is placed with a child from an LA area different to the one that approved them - it reflects costs incurred by the LA in training and support going into the future.

Metoo the article I was reading, I think must be referring to private agencies.

In not passing judgment, I was just sharing the alleged figures. As a poster asked who makes money from children being removed.

There is a chronic shortage of foster carers so the money isn't working as an inducement. Private foster carers often work with the dc who display the most challenging behavior, it has a significant impact on their ability to work outside the home etc. iIt isn't a well paid job for what they are asked to do.

ThinksTwice

It's horrible isn't it. I wouldn't go near a doctor with any sort of MH condition unless desperate, certainly not until my DD is older.

I've supported a relation through his interaction with SW regarding his 3 children (living with mother not him). He had 1 SW that was really good and understanding, she recommended the children lived with him through factual based evidence (school, GP, emails from his ex). However she left before this happened, the new SW is vile, dismisses everything the mother does as 'living differently', is clearly there for the mother rather than the children - she plays down serious risks. I really feel for the children, and although my cousin is fighting a losing battle (she is the expert as she tells him at every meeting) he is trying to make his children's lives better. The constant stress has affected his work, social life and he is a shell of who he used to be.

I think like with any job there are good and bad, but the problem is that in a role like this the ramifications of someones personal prejudice/ god complex are potentially v serious.

I've only ever dealt with 3 SW over the same issue. Dealing with them was an experience of polar opposites. The first one I spoke to had an extremely poor command of English. I couldn't understand a lot of what she said due to a very heavy accent, and she couldn't understand me when I used anything other than the most basic language. She was quite aggressive and unpleasant, insisted she would visit me at work or unannounced at home (for what was a really straightforward matter). She also launched into a long explanation of who she was and the issue she was calling about without first even checking my identity!

I ended up getting a further call from someone meant to be her supervisor who basically called me a liar and a racist, was totally belligerent and seemed to have a chip on her shoulder about me/ my job. The sort of person who thinks anyone in their profession is above criticism.

I ended up, after a complaint, dealing with a lovely SW who was part of the looked after children unit. I formed the view that she had a far greater skill set (and certainly a mich nicer, more professional manner) than her colleagues in the other team dealing with the less serious issues.

I have to say it's an experience I wouldn't want to repeat.

Social work is like any profession.

There are great ones, awful ones and most will be in the middle.

Long time lurker, first time poster - might regret this but am a SW (children's). Not going to get involved about discussions on anyone's personal experience for obvious reasons, but if anyone is interested for an insight into the system I'm happy to give my view.

Nb there are no adoption targets and never have been in this country to my knowledge. There ARE timescale targets (to make sure decisions happen so children don't spend half their life waiting for a family).

The court threshold (as Google will tell you) for adoption is 'nothing else will do'.

Pen yes it is 😞 Having said that, now I'm out the other side of divorce and a few years on, much stronger and wiser, I wouldn't have any qualms about telling a social worker to fuck right off if they tried to bully me the way they did back then. They would meet the 2018 thinktwice who wouldn't need to complain because of what they did because I wouldn't allow them to do in the first place. I would pick them up on everything and record everything. They wouldn't be getting away with anything!

I urge you to see you gp if you are struggling. Or sometimes you can self refer to things like CBT? Don't let the fear of Ss pull you down and suffer. Or I'll sort them out!😬😉