To think I can wear what I want in my own house?

[Practicallyperfectwithprosecco]

New neighbours and I think they might be slightly mad.

Few weeks ago she complained about me and oldest dd being in the garden wearing bikinis ( not even teeny bikinis ) as she has a husband and a teenage son and they might see us. I tried hard to make sure if I was out there sunbathing I was away from her garden and moved the kids pool so it would be harder for them to be seen from their fence. ( - the only way they can see in to our garden is when on trampoline, their raised patio or looking out of upstairs window)

This morning I was cleaning kitchen in my pjs (vest and shorts so not revealing) dd was stood by open patio doors chatting to me in shorts and a crop top she sleeps in. Next thing mrs next door is banging on my front door telling me I'm continuing to disrespect her and her family by the provocative way we dress! If we continue to flaunt ourselves she will be complaining to my husband!

I wasn't quite sure what to say - I suggested she maybe wanted to refrain from looking into my house over her fence if we were upsetting her.

She is totally unhinged!

Loving the party, her son & husbands eyes will explode at the skin on show Definitely need a predecided playlist

Am I the only one who wants OP to get cardboard cut outs of bay watch bikini babes for upstairs windows to appear and disappear sporadically? 😇

@Stoat 😂

You say your daughter has 15 year old friends so I'm assuming she is about the same age so maybe next time you should ask if she's worried that her husband finds a 15 year old 'provocative'

If they don't like seeing you then they can plant some pleached trees in their garden, since it's their problem not yours.

This reminds me of the thread about the woman who wore workout clothes most days because she liked doing short workouts several times a day in her living room. Then the neighbour complained about the clothes she worked out in because her husband might see her in them. Which would mean he would be staring out his window into hers, yet the OP was the problem.

Why the hell are they looking into your house/garden?! Our living room window is right next to our neighbours back door and she always averts her eyes as she walks past. Otherwise she might have seen me in my undies quite a few times! What you choose to dress in in your own home/garden is up to you! I would be so cross to be made to feel so conscious and overlooked!

Invite the local naturist group round for a BBQ.

May as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb

The easiest way to deal with batshit neighbours is to out-batshit them, OP. Seriously. It's great fun.

My crazy NDN from our last house used to constantly badger me every single day about our cat. He used to like sitting up on our fence, watching the world go by. Neighbour hated it because our cat would sit there and stare at him whenever he was in his garden ... apparently. This was an issue so serious the cretin would hammer my front door anytime the cat was on the fence, which could be several times a day. As if I could stop the bloody cat from staring at anything from his own garden fence!

I eventually had enough. I adopted my best crazy eyes and invented a tall tale about the cat being possessed by a man called Bill. I let my imagination run wild and had my NDN looking genuinely fearful for my mental state by the time he said goodbye. Still not sure how I kept a straight face. I even stepped towards him at one point and whispered, "Does it sound like he's saying 'Bill' to you, whenever he meows?"

He left me alone after that.

I made sure I signed his Christmas card that year from 'MaryDoll, MaryDoll's DD ... and Bill.' I even added a little paw print too

i bought a mankini for my husband to embarrass our son on holiday does your hubby want to borrow it?

deffo need live updates and the Mocktails in wine glasses from a PP is great idea!!

MaryDoll, you're a certified genius.

'I even added a little paw print too' I think that's my favourite bit

This is gold!

Please update when the party happens!

😄🎉🍹 👙👙👙

Head by Prince would be a good song to play.

Invite them to the party OP! I think Missy Elliot Work it, and a few Prince songs (Get on for a start!! ) George Michael I want your sex.

Time to get the nipples tassels out.

I'm going to be so disappointed if you don't give live updates from the party op.

Oh and can I recommend closer by nine inch nails? Playing that for the professionally offended is one of the more amusing things I have encountered!

I'd buy a prosthetic penis and whip it out your shorts when they are peeping! They may stop leering as much? (Wife could end up spending a lot of time on the trampoline though 🤣🤣🤣)

Get some crystals and lay them out in mandala patterns on you patio/table/etc... been seen sprinkling them with spring water to cleanse and energise them. Bonus points for wearing hippy clothing.

When she reacts ask your neighbour if they'd like to come round for Mabon, the autumn equinox starting Sept 21. Celebrate all things pagan you can throw at it. Set up a food alter (and ask for donations for your local food bank from guests - they can't object to acts of charity). [[https://www.thoughtco.com/all-about-mabon-the-autumn-equinox-2562286]]

I find adding a sprinkling of this stuff into my life keeps the overly religious from my door. I might think about this year's Samhain (halloween) wreath for my door. You could make up something. Would she dare knock?

sorry link fail but it does work

A party, you say? Time to get out the bunting then!

She sounds like a potential problem. keep dates and what was said and who witnessed any contact between you and her, Eventually you may have to take action against her.

Oh please pop round and say 'I'm so sorry we got off on the wrong foot, it would mean the world to me and my family of we could get along. We are having a small tea part for my daughter and we would love for you all to come' I'm sure you could get hold of a button down twin set and a string of pearls to wear for the invite?!!

She’ll tell your husband? I’d tell her to knock herself out!

Get all the girls to wear appropriate dress stand in a circle and sing kumbaya before ripping off their clothes and heading for the pool in their bikinis. Then get a few to knock next door and see if their son wants to join them.

Ugh party*

Haha queen! Is ds coming to play? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣