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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sleep with my baby in my arms?

81 replies

Icantgetnosleep000 · 20/08/2018 09:09

Ultimately I know it's my choice and I like doing it, but I worry (rods for back etc)

The situation is that my 10 month old DS is a fairly good sleeper. Will spend extended periods of time happily in cot. He's also not so great in other ways- can sonetimes (not always) really fight naps etc. I guess I worry that I'm influencing this.

Most days I BF him to sleep if home. It's just nice and fits in with two naps he now has.

I'll invariably be on rocking chair in his room (and on MN), and sometimes I just don't put him down!

It's so nice looking at his little face and frankly I don't always want to start the shush pat in cot and also cut the nap short

I just get a small sense of guilt in doing so - as if I'm not making progress that day (helping him nap well on own). And I say to myself, it's ok for a little while longer. Mum guilt Blush AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Icantgetnosleep000 · 20/08/2018 09:10

Wow I must be tired. Title makes it look as if I'm the one sleeping Blush cue people coming to tell me it's unsafe! Confused sorry!

OP posts:
Fireworks91 · 20/08/2018 09:11

As long as he is safe crack on. All of mine have slept cuddled up from newborn.

Be wary of falling asleep with a little one in case they slip etc.

Fireworks91 · 20/08/2018 09:11

Ha, cross posted!

NotSoThinLizzy · 20/08/2018 09:13

I'm the same as you I keep saying 5 more minutes 😂 they don't stay small for long sadly

Pollypanda · 20/08/2018 09:14

I do the same with my 9 month old. Rock or feed to sleep, sometimes put down in cot but sometimes can’t be bothered to move so sit browsing on my phone until he wakes.

He sleeps great at night and is happy to sleep in his cot if I put him down. I don’t think you’re making a rod for your own back. Enjoy the cuddles! 😊

DustyMaiden · 20/08/2018 09:18

I always felt it was good to differentiate between daytime naps and proper bedtime, that was my excuse anyway.

StarfishSandwich · 20/08/2018 09:20

Would he sleep in a sling? Might help you to feel a bit more productive? But TBH if you enjoy a nice sit down and he’s comforted by it, crack on. They don’t stay small and cuddly forever.

ParadiseLaundry · 20/08/2018 09:23

YANBU. DS had almost all of his naps in my arms until he was 18 mo and I loved every minute. It's so relaxing watching them drift off to sleep and makes sure you get a sit down and rest too. He's been napping in bed for over a year now and now although I manage to get on with jobs in the house I'm also more tired and snack more. You can't get up for another biscuit when you're stuck under a sleeping baby GrinEnjoy it while it lasts.

Slartybartfast · 20/08/2018 09:23

it goes against sleep training. they need to self soothe.

Fireworks91 · 20/08/2018 09:26

That only matters of you decide to sleep train. Otherwise they'll just get there in their own time.

IKnowItsTIMHONKSTIMHONKS · 20/08/2018 09:32

I've only just started putting my twins in their cots for naps at 11 months old. I loved the cuddles but had to make the switch so it's easier for everyone when I'm back at work next month.

Tiredofit · 20/08/2018 09:33

I never did this with mine. Moses basket for naps and bedtime from day 1 (well day 6). Into the cot at night. Whilst there's no doubt they were in a great routine very early on and I suppose they had to be as I had to return to work when ds1 and 2 were 14 weeks, given my time again I would spend more time cuddling whilst on mumsnet. YADNBU.

valenciaev · 20/08/2018 09:34

I think it's fine!

Maybe put him in cot every now and then just to maintain him being able to nap alone in case you ever need him too.

Slartybartfast · 20/08/2018 09:34

what is the aibu op?
your child, enjoy

DartmoorDoughnut · 20/08/2018 09:36

Slartybartfast bollocks do they need to self soothe

Fatted · 20/08/2018 09:37

My eldest only ever napped being held or in the pram cos of his reflux. Second I tried to lay him down, he woke up. If you're happy doing it crack on I say. Your DC won't be happy for cuddles for long. If you're not happy, miss having your own space and time to actually do something briefly for yourself, then it's time to look at changing it. I personally found it very hard going when eldest was little because I just never had the space or a break. But now I've come out of the other side, I do kind of miss those cuddles with him!!

SaoirseTheSeahorse · 20/08/2018 09:39

Yanbu! I did this all the time with dc1 who loved a cuddle-sleep. Dc2 is already too heavy for me at 7mo and prefers sleeping in a bed than on me Sad.

Slartybartfast · 20/08/2018 09:41

imo they do - get away with your bollocks comment Dartmoor

Olivebrach · 20/08/2018 09:43

Yanbu. I also still sit with my son while he naps and he is now 1. I may put him down next to me in bed but i like the time to chill, read or browse on my phone ha.

AmazingGrace16 · 20/08/2018 09:43

You're doing an amazing job :) keep going mama!
I always cuddled for naps and bf to sleep. It worked for us and sounds like it's working for you too.
I now have a wonderful 3 yo who goes to sleep fine.
Btw it's total bollocks that a 10mo needs to self soothe. It's a skill that even some adults struggle with so please don't listen to that nonsense.

Herja · 20/08/2018 09:45

I did that with DS untill I stopped breastfeeding at 18 months. I loved it and I have no regrets at all.

In all honesty his napping was bollocks when I stopped bf (pregnant and my milk dried up, or I'd have just carried on). He had to be walked in the pushchair or in a car to sleep; wr just went for a stroll for an hour an afternoon and he slept in the pushchair and baby slept in the sling. It was all fine.

Now he sleeps beautifully and he was a bit of a nightmare sleeper. DD who slept well, at 4, is still awake at least once a night. Do whatever you want. Those cuddles are still the ones I miss most.

AmazingGrace16 · 20/08/2018 09:46

And it only "goes against sleep training" if you are actually doing that. It doesn't sound like your baby needs any "training" as you're both perfectly happy.
Keep cuddling :)

RoboticSealpup · 20/08/2018 09:48

I always did this because DD had reflux and it was the only way she could nap. She's always been a terrible sleeper and up still cosleeping with her at the age of 3, but I'm pretty sure this is an effect of poor sleep rather than the cause. (We had a whole year of insisting she sleep in her cot and that resulted in extremely poor sleep for all involved, before we gave up.)

Memories of holding my sleeping baby and looking at her little face are some of the most precious ones I have. Smile

itsonlysubterfuge · 20/08/2018 09:49

My DD is 6 and I still cuddle her in my arms until she falls asleep.

Sometimes it's a blessing, sometimes it's a chore. It's not like I'll be doing it her whole life, so I'm just trying to enjoy it, even though sometimes I just wish she would go to sleep on her own.

CaffeineAndCrochet · 20/08/2018 09:51

YANBU. It's what I miss most about the baby stage. DD is 7 now and will only sleep on me if she's not feeling well.

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