To sleep with my baby in my arms?

[Icantgetnosleep000]

Ultimately I know it's my choice and I like doing it, but I worry (rods for back etc)

The situation is that my 10 month old DS is a fairly good sleeper. Will spend extended periods of time happily in cot. He's also not so great in other ways- can sonetimes (not always) really fight naps etc. I guess I worry that I'm influencing this.

Most days I BF him to sleep if home. It's just nice and fits in with two naps he now has.

I'll invariably be on rocking chair in his room (and on MN), and sometimes I just don't put him down!

It's so nice looking at his little face and frankly I don't always want to start the shush pat in cot and also cut the nap short

I just get a small sense of guilt in doing so - as if I'm not making progress that day (helping him nap well on own). And I say to myself, it's ok for a little while longer. Mum guilt AIBU?

I love cuddling DD for her naps but I'd go mad if she needed it at night. Thankfully she doesn't - happily self-settles at bedtime and through the night (in fact she won't go to sleep until she's in her cot and gets very upset if you try and cuddle her once her bedtime routine is over!) but needs cuddles through her naps. For me, that's perfect - I get the best of both worlds.

@Goldmandra you sound like a fantastic childminder

Co sleep in bed with firm.mattress and no pillows duvets etc then you can sleep too 😂

OP enjoy it! This time will fly by, make the most of your lovely cuddles with your baby 😊

I’ve just BF my 13 month to get him down for a nap. We are now both snuggled in bed whilst he sleeps and I read. I get some downtime and cuddles. He feels secure and safe. Everyone is happy 😊

I did it with all three of mine and the eldest two have never had any issues with sleep (very good confident sleepers in fact) and my youngest is three months so I don’t know yet

Self soothing is a wonderful skill for children (and adults for that matter) to have, lets not forget that.

Also lots of women have to implement the skill at varying ages due to varying reasons (going back to work early, needs of other children, needs of the mother/mental health etc) so lets not bash women who make different choices to themselves.

That said, I am not saying that what you are doing is anything to the detriment of that, you sound like you are having a lovely time with your baby.

I also hold my baby while they nap. For the posters who did and children are now older, how did your babies cope at nursery/ childminders or with relatives ? Thanks x

I love them napping in my arms!! Who cares about rods for own backs?! When they’re 5 you can’t pin them down for a cuddle

Theres nothing wrong with co sleeping.

Also nothing wrong with baby sleeping on you. Im onto.my 2nd baby just now and know that one day i will miss it. But i havw a toddler so cant always let her sleep on me. My twp year old spent 13 months napping on me. I could never get her down. When i lowered my expectations of what i could achieve i was much happier. Do t let anyone tell yoy what to do and enjoy it. X

Each child is different and needs different things at different times.
I said earlier in the thread that my DS would only nap for about half an hour max unless I was cuddling him.
My dad said I was making a rod for my own back but he's 18 now and sleeps just fine!
DD used to sleep for ages in her cot or pram for naps - completely different children and ways.
Go with what works for you

I want a baby to cuddle to sleep again

(Not really - I'm glad to be past the tiny children stage, but cuddles is definitely one of the best bits of LOs)

My DS is 12 months and won't feed to sleep or sleep in my arms any more, it's been about 6 weeks and I miss it! Enjoy it while you can.

Me and my son were pretty much physically attached all day and night until I went back to work at 9 months. We sleep together all night now on a floor bed. I weaned at 17 months and he sleeps through since then. I felt all the guilt that I was breaking my baby and he was never going to learn to sleep through a sleep cycle but turns out it was all bull as he sleeps a dream now!

Would 100% do the exact same thing for any fuure babies. I know I will never regret cuddling him too much.

Absolutely NBU, I did this with my 2nd partly because I felt like with my 1st I was constantly trying to put him down. All in the name of 'the routine' which made me feel like crap.

The best maternity leave memories I have is of my youngest asleep on me for his naps. Do it! Soon he'll be 6 and refusing to sit on your knee.

Slightly off-topic, but when my aunt was ill with dementia, one of the very few things she could remember doing was sitting on my sofa with DD, cuddling her while she slept. Most of her memories had gone but that was one which stayed with her.

Cuddle him I say!

You can't give a child too much love.

He'll work out the sleep in his own time.

@stinkysaurus my son went to nursery at 11 months. Only ever been held for naps or in moving pram or buggy. For the first week or so they either rocked him to sleep and then put him on a mat where he slept or held him. After that he went to sleep on a mat on the floor with all the other kids. Nurseries have magic.

Cuddle to your hearts content.

I have four children. Every single one of them has had pretty much every single nap in my arms until they were about 16 months because not a single one of them would ever go down in a Moses basket.

I’m pleased to report that eight years on, we are all still here and now the children sleep beautifully in their own beds. It goes so quickly OP. Nobody is ever going to regret cuddling their babies to sleep.

I miss DD falling asleep all heavy and snuffly on me, and watching her peaceful face while she slept. She’s nearly 13 so unlikely to ever do it again Enjoy it as long as you can.

Enjoy.

He'll be independent when he is ready to be - this isn't building a rod for your own back and the concept of 'self soothing' is utter bollocks. What 'self soothing' means is 'learns no one comes to help so don't waste your energy'.

It doesn't create an independent secure or confident child and funnily enough doesn't work with any other mammal either!

(I am certain someones going to come and tell me it did for their child, I put it to them their child either isnt as secure as they believe, or has achieved that despite sleep training/self soothing rubbish, not because of it).

Sounds wonderful. I did this with my son until he was 2.5. Only reason I stopped is I had a New born to look after so had her to see to. I used to love nap time. Perfect excuse to chill out.

I did this with DS until shortly after his first birthday.

I only stopped because I wanted to get him ready for me going back to work. So I moved on to letting him fall asleep on me and then transferring him to his cot once asleep. Once he was ok with that, I put him down sleepy but awake.

He's 2.5 now and will only sleep in his cot (still in his cot because he doesn't try to climb out - he knows its sleep time). Sometimes this can be a pain, like if I go out for the day, but generally it's great.

Like all children he has phases of not going to sleep/sleeping so well but on the whole is brilliant at self-soothing.

If it ain't broke don't fix it!

Goodness thank you for the supportive replies! So good to know it hasn't caused any big dramas long term. I had a small lump in my throat seeing the responses where people said they had grown-up children/teenagers and missed it. Someone wrote about chubby cheeks and old man wispy hair and it made me smile so much.

For the record today's nap was a record breaking 3h! Far from the norm- he hasn't been too well this week. The third hour was in his cot, but the first two were amazing. While we are generally quite busy together, with trips out and play dates, I also have days where I just hang out in the house with him, and seem to spend the majority of those day rocking him in the chair or lying next to him in our double bed (between playing and trips outside!) It feels very indulgent and I love it. With your responses in mind, I'll continue to do so guilt/worry free.