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Original poster

Inheritance- what to do with it?

197 replies

Lostintheforesttoday · 19/08/2018 20:07

Hi all. Posting here for traffic. I’ve just inherited some money from my parents - around £190,000 after taxes/ expenses. Please don’t tell me I’m lucky as I’m still really traumatised and devastated by my Mums fairly recent death (suicide) and I’d swap any amount of money to have her back, in a heartbeat.

But I can’t, so here I am, someone who has never had a pot to piss in before with that money and no fucking clue what to do with it. I have a house already that I don’t want to move from or change. I have some student debt I want to pay off, ( my own and my two eldest children’s) - around £20,000 total, plus I want to put some away so my youngest 2 DC (11 and 12) can go to Uni if they want.

Other than that I have no clue what to do with it. I’m currently Re-training for an NHS career but on a year off due to health issues. When there I lived on an NHS bursary and wages from my part time jobs. During the year off Uni I was living on my wages topped up by tax credits (that have now stopped).

I’m 41 but have no pension so am aware I need to do something about that. I know I should get some financial advice but find it very difficult to trust people tbh. I also have quite a history of MH problems (BPD and PTSD) and can be quite impulsive and not always very rational, and I’m scared I’m somehow going to blow it all on sod all or lose it all by making bad decisions. That really scares me as my Parents worked hard for that money and I’d feel like I was letting them down.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice to offer. I feel completely out of my depth, and also that I don’t deserve it as I haven’t worked for it. I’m also worried that my ex husband will make a claim for some of it - we’ve been separated since 2008 due to his violence but are still not officially divorced as I could never afford it. I know my Mum hated him for what he did to us, and that she wanted to change her will in case something happened to me and he got my share (though she never got around to it).

Apologies for any spelling/ grammar errors - I’m on a very small and very crap phone!

OP posts:
KindergartenKop · 19/08/2018 20:09

Invest it in a wide portfolio and get it to grow for your old age. Hargreaves Landsdown are good.

KindergartenKop · 19/08/2018 20:10

Oh and buy a better phone!
Sorry for your loss by the way. Flowers

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2018 20:11

Find an independent financial advisor and tell them what you've said here. Listen to their advice. Take what seems good to you and do that.

TiffinBox · 19/08/2018 20:14

Get very good legal and financial advice from a decent solicitor and accountant and get a divorce first. Then I'd probably buy a small house and let it out to provide a pension income for when you retire. It's a significant sum of money that if you invest very carefully can provide you with a decent return. You ideally want to invest it for the long term. Don't tell anybody about your inheritance as all the sob stories will come out.

runbeerrunbeer · 19/08/2018 20:15

Sorry for your loss OP. I know you say you don't trust easily but you really do need advice re how best to invest.

Personally, I'd be tempted by another property to rent out and save for the Dc to take on as a starter property, or maybe a little holiday home in Portugal.

Vitalogy · 19/08/2018 20:15

Sorry for your loss.

Is your house paid off?

Have a word with your bank re the best interest accounts, then leave it there until you decide what to do with it. There's no rush, you're still grieving.

I'd get some legal advice re your husband though.

MasonJar · 19/08/2018 20:16

Agree with PP. See an Independent Financial Advisor, definitely more trustworthy than randoms on the internet Smile.

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 19/08/2018 20:16

You do need financial advice. The thing is, you can afford to pay for this. Ask around and go and see 2/3 people - a small local IFA, and maybe a bigger one. You should expect to pay for both appointments, maybe around £300 for a couple of hours. That's a lot of money, but you have money to pay for that now.

Then take yourself on holiday and give yourself time to think over their proposals.

And divorce the ex.

Really the only thing you have to do immediately is make sure the money is safe in the bank - and by safe, I mean that you can't get it at all immediately if you have impulse problems. Get £185,000 of it in accounts that are hard to access, you can be impulsive with the other 5k if you want. Get the divorce sorted, then you can take your time over the other decisions. And I'm sorry for your loss.

DolorestheNewt · 19/08/2018 20:20

Agree with the PP who suggested you get swift legal advice re your ex. I would hope that money inherited post split (but pre divorce) would be very difficult to make a claim on. But there may be things you can do to formalise and secure your position. Also agree with the same poster when they said that you're still grieving... go with something low risk and not too long term while you recover more, maybe? Though I realise that grief can go on for many years. I'm so sorry for your loss, OP.

NorthernLurker · 19/08/2018 20:20

Don't pay off your kids debt. That's their debt not yours and with no pension you need to maximise your position. I agree with the poster who said don't tell anybody you've inherited. That's v sound advice. When you see financial advisors get them to recommend long term investments that you can't break in to.

Whoateallthecheese · 19/08/2018 20:23

Contact the solicitor who dealt with the estate and ask if they can recommend a financial advisor for you. They will be used to dealing with people coming into large sums of money and will probably be better than you just picking someone at random. You really do need professional help.
I'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation. It's very difficult for you. Take care.

ImNotAsGreenasImCabbageLooking · 19/08/2018 20:24

Sorry for your loss Op.

I just want to gently remind you that you don't have to do anything with it right now. Stating the bleedin' obvious maybe Wink but the money itself shouldn't become a stressor in your life. You can leave the bulk or all of it sit in the bank for a while until you feel ready to make decisions.

HollowTalk · 19/08/2018 20:26

I'm so sorry you lost your mum. It must have been awful.

Please don't pay off your children's student debt with it. They won't have to pay any of it until they earn a certain amount anyway.

If I were you I'd buy a property and rent it out, though that's not really a popular view on here.

chickenowner · 19/08/2018 20:27

I've recently come into £100k and I've bought the maximum allowance of premium bonds, invested £40k in 1 and 3 year government bonds, £10k in an ISA.

I may move some of it around in the future but I know it's safe for now.

My DP has inherited £1m and intends to buy property, plus we're going to spend a chunk on an extension to our house.

NewYearNewMe18 · 19/08/2018 20:28

not officially divorced

This is your most pressing concern at present.

UrsulaPandress · 19/08/2018 20:31

I inherited a similar amount. I've put £110,000 in an investment portfolio, bought DD a car and insured it, a horsebox, braces, a few holidays and still have £20,000 that I use for random purchases. We still refer to it as Grandad's money. He is very generous.

Snog · 19/08/2018 20:34

Agree - first of all get divorced

SynchroSwimmer · 19/08/2018 20:37

Put the max £20k into a Fund and Share ISA straight away, and next April do the same again, and the following year....it can keep growing, all tax free

As another poster said, Hargreaves Lansdown are highly recommended.

They also have ready made funds....lots of online information that is accessible

They also have IFA’s

Put a chunk temporarily into Premium Bonds....

Separate other amounts between different banks/building societies.

As other say, do not divulge the inheritance or amount to anyone.

So sorry for your loss

TheGlitterFairy · 19/08/2018 20:38

So very sorry for your loss OP. Having been bereaved by suicide also (my brother), I know how utterly dreadful it is and my heart goes to you. I also inherited some money from him so a similar situation.

Couple of things off the top of my head and similar to some of the other posts too.

Ask the solicitor who dealt with this for some advice on a financial advisor - and also get a separate appt with a lawyer to sort out your own divorce.
In the meantime while you’re sorting out an appt, you need to set up one or two other bank accounts to move some of your inheritance too. Any bank/ account only has a guarantee of 80k if the bank closes - so you need to ensure that you don’t have more than that in any one account (with different banks!)
Get rid of your debt; yours kids student debt can be dealt with later if you want to.
I used my inheritance to invest in property.....agree that MNers don’t seem to like this but it’s future proofing for me and DH and life after work. Took me a long time to be comfortable with it after losing DB but keep pushing on through each day and you’ll get there. If you’d like to IM me, I’d be happy to chat. Good luck OP and keep strong x

Moonflower12 · 19/08/2018 20:38

Get divorced.
Put the money in an account that your stbxh won't look for.
Perhaps in an account that requires lots of days notice for withdrawals. That will help you with the impulse buying etc. And they have a higher rate of interest. Then get independent financial advice, when you are ready.

Shambu · 19/08/2018 20:41

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Shambu · 19/08/2018 20:42

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Pippylou · 19/08/2018 20:45

See a Certified financial planner...sort retirement with ETFs, low management fees and lots of diversity.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 19/08/2018 20:46

So sorry for your loss OP. Flowers

Property is a good long term investment. Rented out it would provide you with a steady income to boost your income or provide extra money for when you want to help your DC. In the longer term it could be your pension.

Cambionome · 19/08/2018 20:47

Before you do anything else at all see a solicitor and get your divorce sorted. The last thing you need is for your abusive ex to try to claim half!!