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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Inheritance- what to do with it?

197 replies

Lostintheforesttoday · 19/08/2018 20:07

Hi all. Posting here for traffic. I’ve just inherited some money from my parents - around £190,000 after taxes/ expenses. Please don’t tell me I’m lucky as I’m still really traumatised and devastated by my Mums fairly recent death (suicide) and I’d swap any amount of money to have her back, in a heartbeat.

But I can’t, so here I am, someone who has never had a pot to piss in before with that money and no fucking clue what to do with it. I have a house already that I don’t want to move from or change. I have some student debt I want to pay off, ( my own and my two eldest children’s) - around £20,000 total, plus I want to put some away so my youngest 2 DC (11 and 12) can go to Uni if they want.

Other than that I have no clue what to do with it. I’m currently Re-training for an NHS career but on a year off due to health issues. When there I lived on an NHS bursary and wages from my part time jobs. During the year off Uni I was living on my wages topped up by tax credits (that have now stopped).

I’m 41 but have no pension so am aware I need to do something about that. I know I should get some financial advice but find it very difficult to trust people tbh. I also have quite a history of MH problems (BPD and PTSD) and can be quite impulsive and not always very rational, and I’m scared I’m somehow going to blow it all on sod all or lose it all by making bad decisions. That really scares me as my Parents worked hard for that money and I’d feel like I was letting them down.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice to offer. I feel completely out of my depth, and also that I don’t deserve it as I haven’t worked for it. I’m also worried that my ex husband will make a claim for some of it - we’ve been separated since 2008 due to his violence but are still not officially divorced as I could never afford it. I know my Mum hated him for what he did to us, and that she wanted to change her will in case something happened to me and he got my share (though she never got around to it).

Apologies for any spelling/ grammar errors - I’m on a very small and very crap phone!

OP posts:
Nagaram · 19/08/2018 21:06

...that should say ‘look at’ not arbour(!) 😬

Bluelady · 19/08/2018 21:08

Very sorry for your loss💐

When I was in your position I did nothing for several months. Just allowed myself to process everything. It's never felt like my money and I was very conscious that I needed to be responsible with it. I wouldn't seek put professional advice for now, you're very vulnerable and it would be easy to do something you'd later regret.

So my advice would be to leave it safely where it is at the moment and deal with it when you feel ready.

MrTrebus · 19/08/2018 21:09

There is such bad advice on this thread it's fucking terrible to read. And I say that from a position of experience as a qualified IFA reading currently as a mortgage advisor. OP don't listen to anyone on here! Including me Wink

TomHardysNextWife · 19/08/2018 21:13

DH had an inheritance from his father, and it was fairly bittersweet to get to be honest. They'd only just made contact and he'd give it back in a heartbeat to have some time with his dad again Sad.

We paid off our mortgage as we'd had an interest only one for many years while I was bringing the family up and DH was investing time and money into the business. So that was a massive relief. Other than that it's most all sitting in premium bonds and a high interest saving account. It's funny but it's nice knowing we have a safety net and we did give our DC some money too (a few £k each). This was over 3 years ago now. There is no rush but just don't leave it in your current account due to fraud potential with a debit card etc.

Thesearepearls · 19/08/2018 21:15

Use National Savings to avoid the £85k compensation limit, get legal advice re ex. Don’t consider trusts at this moment as they be irreversible. Also your children may access any trust money at 18

There's so many things wrong with that post that I don't know how to begin to unpick it. I'll focus on two things. The first thing is the suggestion to use National Savings. Just don't. The returns are pitiful.

The second thing is the advice about trusts. It is ridiculous to start talking about trusts in this context - this is a small inheritance. The taxation consequences of trusts are complex and you would need advice from both solicitors and accountants. All of this advice would cost you a lot of money and is irrelevant. And no, beneficiaries do not have to come into the principal at 18 but as I say all talk of trusts is not sensible.

Shambu · 19/08/2018 21:17

Sophie'sdog

An ISA is type of savings account, I'm talking about their investment services. I.e. They invest and manage the fund for you.

I don't know what their minimum amount is for that. And their fees are quite high.

Bluelady · 19/08/2018 21:17

It never occurred to me it could be in a current account! If it is, put it somewhere safer than that. Premium bonds are a good shout.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 19/08/2018 21:17

I'm so very sorry about your mum, OP Flowers

If it helps, I was told after an inheritance that this is NOT regarded as a "marital asset" unless you've already used some of it for joint purposes or kept it in joint names - which obviously you won't have done. If your ex has absolutely no other way of keeping himself there's a theoretical chance he could try to make a claim, but with you being separated for so long I'd be very surprised if he succeeded

I'd certainly get the divorce done quickly, though, and if you're worried about making rash decisions maybe keep some back for emergencies and invest the rest in a 1 year bonds (with no more than the £85,000 FSCS allowance in each) That would give you a whole year to see your way forward more clearly and to research what you'll do with it

jasjas1973 · 19/08/2018 21:19

Leave it in the bank until you ve had some time to grieve for your Mum.

But before you do a thing, get a new Will written, protecting your children's future.

You want to re train (as you are doing) so why not do something more ambitious than being a carer? (as fine as that is) You ve the money to do a foundation degree and become a nurse for example.

By the time you ve paid off debts and money aside for your kids, you ll not have enough for a house, unless you live up north somewhere?

Why not pay off your mortgage? the rate you r paying will be far higher than you could invest the 190k at and interest rates are on the up, check if there are penalties if you are on a fixed rate.

Then go on a lovely holiday with your children and make some memories and remember your Mum.

Shambu · 19/08/2018 21:20

For Coutts, for example, you need x amount of investable assets.

bertielab · 19/08/2018 21:20

Pay off your debts. Then buy a house and rent it out. Monthly income from rental and an investment and use the rent as a pension to live on. You can't sell it easily.

BarbaraofSevillle · 19/08/2018 21:22

If any of the student debt is owed to The Student Loans company, it is unlikely to be financially sensible to pay that off.

Don't rush. Maybe stick it in premium bonds, fixed rate savings for a few months/a year and instant access accounts so it is earning at least a little interest.

It's probably worth seeing an IFA if you can get some advice that costs a few hundred, up to about £1k without ongoing commisions/charges (not sure how much this sort of stuff costs, if it's more than that, I'd spend time on moneysavingexpert savings and investments boards for a few months to pick up knowledge and tips and to decide whether it is worth paying someone for proper advice, or just go with a mix of stocks and shares and cash ISAs, premium bonds, fixed rate and instant access savings and something in a self invested pension scheme and savings for the DCs (but remember again about uni costs - take the loans, rather than paying up front, most people don't pay all of them back).

Thesearepearls · 19/08/2018 21:22

Shambu

I'm actually getting quite cross with you on this thread. Hargreaves Lansdowne is a platform. They do not invest and manage the fund for you. There are many other platforms some offering better value. The point is that this requires a degree of financial literacy properly to evaluate the risks etc.

Glumglowworm · 19/08/2018 21:28

I’m so sorry for your loss

I think first of all, get the money split into three different banks so it’s protected by the FSCS (£85k per institution, make sure they’re not actually the same umbrella company). If you can, lock away most of it for a year.

With your money safe, you can then focus on grieving and looking after yourself and take your time to decide what to do.

When you’re ready, a divorce and pension provision should be top of your list of priorities.

I would go for a fab holiday with your DC, something you couldn’t normally afford. You don’t have to be sensible with all of it.

Thesearepearls · 19/08/2018 21:31

Well at least glum is talking sense ...

Sophiesdog11 · 19/08/2018 21:32

Shambu - a Cash ISA is a savings account - there is also a Stocks and shares ISA operated by many institutions, inlcuding online platforms like HL. The money fed into a S&S ISA buys stocks and shares funds, it is not just held in a savings account.

We have four S&S ISAs on the HL platform in this family, 3 of which I actively manage for myself and DC, so I think I know what I am talking about. Their minimum monthly investment per fund is £50.

I know that as a fact as some of my DDs funds were only getting that much before she turned 18 recently.

You really do not know wht you are talking about.

Inertia · 19/08/2018 21:32

I think the point about the will is a good one, but wouldn’t divorce invalidate a will anyway?

Getting the divorce as speedily as possible should be key.

You might want to begin to think about what to do if he does make a claim on the inheritance as a marital asset - if he is abusive, he might make a claim out of spite, and end up costing you in legal bills. It could be worth considering putting a few thousand to one side for the purposes of negotiating a divorce settlement/ associated legal fees.

Has he always paid the correct amount of child maintenance? If there are arrears, could any settlement be balanced against any CM payments owing?

Suewiang · 19/08/2018 21:32

Dont bother with isas they pay nothing hardly

Adnerb95 · 19/08/2018 21:32

Please know that thesearepearls talking about commission is way out of date - commission was outlawed in 2013!

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing ...

HollowTalk · 19/08/2018 21:32

I think it's pointless to say the advice is bad, without specifically saying which advice is bad.

HollowTalk · 19/08/2018 21:33

And why.

Chocolatedeficitdisorder · 19/08/2018 21:35

If I was the OP, I would be absolutely no wiser about the issue than she was when she started the thread!

What an incredible amount of conflicting advice from people who claim to know what they're talking about!

OP, one poster did say that you are probably more familiar with property than portfolios, therefore you might like to buy a property and let it out for an income. That sounds to me, like a sensible idea and probably what I would do. I'm not a financial adviser.

Thesearepearls · 19/08/2018 21:39

I am disappointed that there are a lot of people posting on this thread who have no experience of investment and clearly do not understand the first thing.

The OP is grieving and in some doubt as to what do do. Do you think you are helping by making such ill-informed comments as Dont bother with isas they pay nothing hardly? That comment is very wrong for a number of reasons. If the OP were to go down the route of investing in funds/bonds/shares THE RIGHT ROUTE would be for her to invest in a stocks and shares ISA.

As I say for the OP my personal suggestion would be for her to buy a property. I have also suggested that she take some time to make a financial decision, a suggestion which I see many posters agree with

Sheesh MN - don't you think it's a bit dangerous to be just shoving opinions in when you don't know what you're talking about? It's not fair and it's most particularly not fair in this situation.

Shambu · 19/08/2018 21:41

ThesearePearls

HL invest my parents' funds for them... they are their wealth managers and financial advisors.

happinessischocolate · 19/08/2018 21:43

I'd buy a mobile home in a nice caravan park by the sea so I could spend all my holidays there .(you can also make s fortune renting it out when you're not there)