Inheritance- what to do with it?

[Lostintheforesttoday]

Hi all. Posting here for traffic. I’ve just inherited some money from my parents - around £190,000 after taxes/ expenses. Please don’t tell me I’m lucky as I’m still really traumatised and devastated by my Mums fairly recent death (suicide) and I’d swap any amount of money to have her back, in a heartbeat.

But I can’t, so here I am, someone who has never had a pot to piss in before with that money and no fucking clue what to do with it. I have a house already that I don’t want to move from or change. I have some student debt I want to pay off, ( my own and my two eldest children’s) - around £20,000 total, plus I want to put some away so my youngest 2 DC (11 and 12) can go to Uni if they want.

Other than that I have no clue what to do with it. I’m currently Re-training for an NHS career but on a year off due to health issues. When there I lived on an NHS bursary and wages from my part time jobs. During the year off Uni I was living on my wages topped up by tax credits (that have now stopped).

I’m 41 but have no pension so am aware I need to do something about that. I know I should get some financial advice but find it very difficult to trust people tbh. I also have quite a history of MH problems (BPD and PTSD) and can be quite impulsive and not always very rational, and I’m scared I’m somehow going to blow it all on sod all or lose it all by making bad decisions. That really scares me as my Parents worked hard for that money and I’d feel like I was letting them down.

Does anyone have any words of wisdom or advice to offer. I feel completely out of my depth, and also that I don’t deserve it as I haven’t worked for it. I’m also worried that my ex husband will make a claim for some of it - we’ve been separated since 2008 due to his violence but are still not officially divorced as I could never afford it. I know my Mum hated him for what he did to us, and that she wanted to change her will in case something happened to me and he got my share (though she never got around to it).

Apologies for any spelling/ grammar errors - I’m on a very small and very crap phone!

Yes the divorce would, so you get a new one afterward, even if she didnt, intestate rules would ensure the estate went to the kids.
But if in the meantime the OP dies, the inheritance & house all goes to the husband.

I dont get the buy a house advice, after paying off debts, where can you buy a house for say a £150k? that would provide a decent rental return?(& that doesn't need renovation)

check on FCA that any financial adviser is registered they have advice on what to watch out for - check for register FCA that check business elsewhere they also have list of who to avoid! go on good holiday by the way somewhere you have always wanted to go -

Definitely agree with PP that you should seek professional advice about the best way to make the most of it. Also I’m very sorry for your loss

jasjas east coast midlands north england

Sophie I'm talking about wealth management - I'm not talking about ISAs.

I dont get the buy a house advice, after paying off debts, where can you buy a house for say a £150k? that would provide a decent rental return?(& that doesn't need renovation)

I don't know where the OP lives but I have just purchased a city centre flat in Leeds for £160k. It's low rise (I only buy low rise) and brick built and for an extra £2k I bought the freehold. It has parking and is a riverside property that rents for £950 PCM. I have to pay the lettings people a 10% rake but it's still doing well ...

I'm so sorry for your bereavement

Could you pay some off your mortgage? Also if you are prone to impulsiveness it might be worth locking some of it somewhere that you need 30/60/90 days notice to access?

Definitely get a financial advisor, they can help you understand how best to manage it

I dont get the buy a house advice, after paying off debts, where can you buy a house for say a £150k? that would provide a decent rental return?(& that doesn't need renovation)

You can get a 2/3 bedroom terrace or even a semi in most cities outside London and the SE for under £150k that would probably make a good investment long term, but unless the OP wants the hassle of being a landlord, it's probably not a great choice. But it's also something to think about.

The house DSis has lived in for the last 10 years is worth about £130k and the amount she's paid in rent in that time has paid for about 60/70% of the house value. If she lives there another 10 years, she's paid for the entire house, but someone else will own it outright.

Although you do need to be careful about investing in property (invest for the long-term) you should be able to make a 5% return on an income basis without a problem. There's more money to be made in poor quality accommodation - houses in multiple occupation and let out to housing benefit tenants and what have you - where income returns can still be double digit.

I don't know what principles people apply to investment - i've thought about this a lot - but when it comes to property I will never invest in anything that I wouldn't choose to live in myself. You have to work hard with this but it's doable.

Fair point Jasjas, and it should be quicker to make a very simple will leaving everything to the children than to get a divorce.

So would a summary list of everyone's advice look like this then?

1. Don't tell anyone IRL.
2. Make a basic will leaving everything to your children.
3. Get legal advice about divorce, and begin divorce proceedings ASAP.
4. Set aside some money in an accessible bank account to process the divorce and cover unexpected living costs.
5. Put £20,000 in an ISA with a delayed access period- it doesn't matter too much which one, just put it somewhere inaccessible for your own peace of mind.

6.Split remaining money between different banks (check that they are not part of the same umbrella group) with delayed access.

Decisions about investments/shares/property don't need to be made now, and OP can move the money around when the time is right. Nobody is likely to make clear, rational financial decisions when grieving and going through a divorce.

It's also worth bearing in mind that there's a strong chance of significant changes to the economic landscape in the UK over the next year or two, so avoiding hasty decisions about investments needs to be a consideration.

Once you are working, some public sector pensions allow you to buy added years to increase the value of your pension, which could be something to consider.

I'd go along with that list apart from the last point, interest rates are such rubbish I'd put the remainder into premium bonds, safe as houses and a chance of a really good return.

Good point too. The NHS pension scheme is still really good.

Sorry for your loss OP

I’m a Chartered Financial Planner and the only advice you should take from this thread (no disrespect to anyone) is to see an IFA. Your circumstances are completely unique and you will never get a professional adviser offering their opinion on where to invest/what you should do, on a thread like this. It is simply impossible to do so properly.

Seek recommendations from friends/family IRL regarding who to use and check the FCA register to ensure you are dealing with a regulated adviser. Ask lots of questions and take your time - there’s no rush.

I'm not sure why my earlier posts were deleted. I was simply urging caution, when posters recommend Hargreaves Lansdown, that for wealth management services - i.e. an investment manager to oversee the investment of the funds manage the portfolio for you, there is probably a minimum amount.

I've since had a look on their website and it turns out to be 100 grand.

So the OP would be eligible, but their fees are quite high and for that sum, it may not prove to be cost effective.

That is something a financial advisor can advise OP on.

@Lostintheforesttoday Hugs and condolences on the loss of your mum, i inherited around the same amount after my mums death. I also have BPD.

I know how this goes:

DO - put majority of it away where you cant get it for at least 6 months.
DONT - leave it in your current account and have access to it very easily with your debit card and linked up accounts to buy stuff - this is an awful idea - this is the voice of experience speaking

What I should have done
Taken an amount like £5k and put it where I could get it if I did want to get something but that would be the "mad spending" money and once it's gone it's gone. Cant move more to that account and spend away, that's not a good idea.

What I should have done
Got proper financial advice and not thought I knew it all, 1 of the solicitors recommended somebody but I decided he was dodgy as well as the solicitor who I ended up having to deal with, I didnt trust him but I should have gone and looked till I found someone I could

But from your post I would echo as well, get the divorce papers sorted and get free, it will make things easier for you xo

Here's a link www.hl.co.uk/financial-advice/professional-portfolio-management

Thesearepearls You need to reread my post. I said don’t use trusts. Secondly it is not about returns at this stage. The main priority is to sort the ex. Any sensible planning would keep the money on deposit until the long term objectives are determined. The OP needs solutions for the short term at this moment until ex is sorted. Property management is a long term game and can be stressful especially if it’s a new venture. Which is the last thing OP needs.

Still going to say - see an IFA at your own risk.

It's not a properly regulated profession IME. You've got to do the thinking for yourself when you've got time and space to do it.

I'm not sure whether any of this has helped you - I suspect the contradictory opinions are just a bit overwhelming right now. Take time.

All the best with your decision OP. Just one last thought - maybe you could think about doing something that might commemorate your Mum appropriately. When my Mum died we arranged for some trees to be planted via the Woodland Trust. She was a gardener so this kind of felt right. But something for you to remember your Mum.

Don’t mix your inheritance money with matrimonial money, keep it separate and don’t spend it on the house. If you do that it will not be seen as a ‘matrimonial asset’ on divorce and can’t be shared with your husband. However it will be seen as a financial resource you have to meet your needs, and your husband may get a larger share of the matrimonial assets then he otherwise would have to meet his needs

So sorry for your loss.

Don’t be under pressure to feel the need to do anything with it. Put it in savings and take your time. I have inheritance coming from my grandad who passed away, no where near as much as you but I will just be putting to one side for a rainy day I think.

And yes Pearl you are forgiven for being rude and inaccurate.

Oh and reach a financial settlement with your DH in mediation if possible then get it drawn up into a legal consent order that can be approved by the court. Otherwise your DH may be able to make a financial claim against you later. Also agreeing in mediation will save you £s in legal fees

Any sensible planning would keep the money on deposit until the long term objectives are determined. The OP needs solutions for the short term at this moment until ex is sorted

Exactly

OP's going through a traumatic time and has said herself she's worried about making impulsive decisions. Surely the important thing is to sort out what needs to be sorted (the divorce) and then take her time over the rest

Just re-read the original post and saw ex DH was violent - forget mediation!