Anyone married but not been proposed too?

[Louise5754]

I know there are worst problems to have but as the title says I've never been proposed too. Unless me and my H split and I meet someone else then I probably never will.

Anyone else?

Me, on the tube (opposite sides). Just said when you move to London and we get married we can buy a house.

Married 6 months later- 30 years ago.

OP you may not have had a grand gesture but you are married and hopefully happy.

Every other day on here there is a post from someone who has been engaged for years after a grand gesture proposal, but seems to have no prospect of an actual wedding.

At least you cracked on with it.

@Louise5754

No proposal from my first marriage and it always bugged me because he wasn't romantic unless pushed for it which isn't really romantic then and just that one time he could have.

I've never known anyone personally who wasn't proposed to so it was also embarrassing, when ever people would ask how he proposed I'd change the subject.

I think so many women are use to unromantic men that they just make do and say that romance is cheesy and not for them and blah blah blah.

However I learned not to settle again.

A friend of mine simply turned to her DH one night and asked if they should get married, he agreed they should and so they did a few months later. They never made a big fuss over an engagement and she didn’t even bother with an engagement ring.

I can understand the logic, the engagement stage is largely for show nowadays and many couples stay perpetually engaged.

We were on holiday, it was the last night, we had a storming row and ended up engaged. It was one of those "look, we love each other, we live together, we want to be together forever and have babies...FFS, why aren't we engaged officially" type conversations in the end.

Married 6 years next month, baby 1 due December. I have the Most Beautiful engagement ring that used to belong to his great-Grandma so cost him precisely nothing...

When you say 'proposed to' do you mean of these big, all-singing all-dancing flash mob things? If not, someone must have said or asked something with regard to getting married otherwise you wouldn't be married. It's like when people say they haven't had a wedding because they got married in a registry office with two witnesses instead of a glorious technicolor production with a cast of hundreds.

The proposal is the time the question was asked or the suggestion made and the wedding is the ceremony in which you were married everything else is just trimmings. If you love your DH and he loves you (even if he's the kind who doesn't say it or make big romantic gestures) it really doesn't matter.

No proposal, I think we just decided together, so long ago I can’t even remember. 34 years on it really doesn’t matter (and never has actually). I’m not even sure I find the proposal thing very romantic anyway, to decide together that you want to spend the rest of your lives together is more romantic in a way than any grand proposal gesture.

I didn't have a proposal either - we discussed getting married, got excited about and set a date, and eloped. A tiny little bit of me is sad I missed out on the proposal thing but then I remember I would have been furious if he'd asked my dad (ugh) and then sprung it on me - as it was, I felt like an equal partner in the conversation and then once we'd decided to get married a proposal seemed unnecessary! The elopement was pretty romantic though, so I don't feel I missed out too much. Maybe what you're missing is romance generally?

Mutual decision here. No engagement ring and I’ve never felt like I missed out on anything. 13 years next year.

I had to bribe mine to get married! Cost me a cup of tea.

We’d been together years and had gotten engaged as we were going to live overseas. DH always said he didn’t want to get married though! We moved back to uk and bought a house. I went home to Dublin for a weekend and got my dad to take me to a hotel to see about booking wedding reception. Dad asked if DH knew. I said he would when I told him. Booked reception. Went back home to DH and said I’d booked it. He said he wasn’t getting married. Said ok we have a week to confirm or say no and let booking go. A week later he was up a ladder painting and I said I need to let hotel know yes or no. He said no. I said ‘oh go on -I’ll make you a cup of tea”. And he said yes. Big soppy romantic that he is!

23 years married now.

I was never officially engaged. I wanted to get married, but my now DH wasn’t keen. When we discussed our points of view it turned out DH had no objections to being married, he just didn’t want a wedding. Tbh I only wanted to be married so we decided to elope when we went on holiday (Vegas of course!).

I really don’t feel like I have missed out by not having a ring or a surprise proposal. We had already been together over 8 years and. Living together so nothing really changed!

No proposal. No engagement ring. No hen do or stag do. No wedding dress. No wedding cake. No photos. No honeymoon (We were in our scruffs painting the babies bedroom the next day) and no party. Only 3 witnesses.

Couldn't be more happily married if I tried!

We never had a proposal. Just kind of discussed it on and off and it just somehow happened.! Not very romantic!

No cringey get down on one knees with a ring I'm a public place type proposal for me. But a terrified sounding DH asking in the dark 'will you marry me?' followed by 'oh, I didn't get you a ring because I thought that you would say no'

DH did propose to me on one knee on some cliffs in Italy and he had chosen a ring which I absolutely loved, though it was a little big. I’ll always remember that evening because he had made an effort and he said some beautiful things. It’s still quite clear in my mind 16 years on. On the other hand, my friend just got married to her long-term partner of 20 years the other week. They’re both in their 40s now and have two teen boys. They made no secret of the fact they decided to get married in a meeting with the tax advisor , but they’re one of the happiest couples I know.

We decided to get married. Booked the church, venue and dress. I ordered and paid for the ring and he put the money into my account.

Unorthodox but he still wanted to ask me officially.

12 weeks to go before the big day and he waits until I'm getting into my PJs, butt naked, and gets down on one knee. But hard to say no!

I think I kind of proposed to DH! We'd talked about getting married, though he didn't seem overly keen. When I pressed him on it it turned out he wanted to wait and buy a fancy ring, get the setting and location right and do a big speech. God knows how long I'd have to wait for all that though, so I got a bit emotional, talked about the kids and how much I loved them all and said let's all have the same surname eh? And that was that. Married 3 months later, small registry office do and I loved it

My ex didn't propose. We talked about it right from the first time we got together - he'd been married before and said he'd always thought he'd never marry again until he met me. So it was on the cards. In the end I got fed up (after a full year together ) of waiting, expecting a proposal whenever we went away etc, so I just said lets book a date and do it. We bought a cheapo ring at a market somewhere, which I jazzed up with some enamel paint and then got married a few months later.

With my current DP, he's a bit traditional so I know he'll want to do the whole down on one knee thing. In fact he already did it one night by the side of the bed, but then we split up so I don't know if it still counts! I've said I don't want him to buy me a ring as I want to wear my mum's beautiful ring, so if he does ask me again, he'll have to ask me for the ring to do it with.

no proposal. we agreed we should get married as i was a sahm looking after our small child at the time. no fancy proposal, no splendid location. agreed we should do it, went to get a ring made and then got pissed on cheap rose the afternoon we went to collect it.

Yes, and I'm quite happy about it. Dh started dropping some hints, probably trying to discover how a proposal would be received, and I told him very clearly that the subject was unwelcome. Then I went away and chewed it over for a good few weeks and decided I did want to marry him. So I proposed to him.

Dp proposed on the Eiffel Tower four years ago.

Where not getting married until 2021 because then it will be exactly ten years.

Marriage isn't something where really rushing into. We owns house together and have s child. So I don't see it as a necessity but still can't wait for us to al share the same surname

We agreed to get married, mainly to sort out visas, and told family. we then picked out my ring. There was a gap between picking it out and getting it as we had to live in different countries for a while, so DH got down on one knee one night to give me the ring. This was about 6 weeks before our legal wedding!

I asked DH. Said we ought to.

I don’t like big displays and I hate surprises. He bought me a ring I hated and I made him take it back (to be fair, I had told him under no circumstances to buy me a ring as I was pregnant with twins and hugely swollen; plus, he tries but never gets my taste quite right) but we chose one later on together.

I was never proposed to, and I never got an engagement ring. Have been married 28 years and together 41 years.

My first husband was terminally ill. We'd always agreed to not get married... then one day we were walking down some path on a crummy industrial estate and he said "You know we said we didn't want to get married, I changed my mind". I replied "Sounds like a job for me then". So we did :) Just us and witnesses and a picnic afterwards. Current DP been together for years, never married, don't think we will. Not bothered in the slightest and completely happy.