To think it's unreasonable to expect a child to be completely silent on a train?

[Applepudding2018]

Currently travelling on intercity train. Behind me there is a young child and an adult. Can't see them but from their voices I imagine child to be about 3-4 and adult to be grandmother. Child is at times slightly wingy and at other times singing to them self but every time there is one noise from the child the grandparent is telling them to shut up as 'the whole train doesn't want to listen to you ', yet the grandmother's voice is louder than the child's.

I just feel it is unrealistic to expect a young child to be silent for 2 hours, and surely she would be better trying to engage the child in a game or something rather than just telling them to be quiet and go to sleep!

I agree.

I mean I agree with you, especially your last paragraph. YANBU.

Agreed.

I agree, she should be entertaining her with something if she's telling her to shut up when she's only trying to entertain herself!

She sounds a right old grump, why can't she play a game or at least talk to her, she must be bored poor wee soul.

I agree with the grandmother. I don't want to hear an irritating child so I'd be very happy to hear them being shooshed! Not enough people tell their child to shut up on public transport and we end up having to listen to them babble on the most irritating nonsense.

Wrenika, do you tell people on public transport to shut up so you don't have to listen to them babbling irritating nonsense to each other or on their phones.

Not enough people tell their child to shut up on public transport and we end up having to listen to them babble on the most irritating nonsense.

What a load of shit. I travel by public transport in and around London frequently and parents are generally respectful and entertain their DC so as not to disturb passengers. I'm much more concerned about passengers who tut loudly at children's 'normal level' noises than I am by the children making the noises. If you're so bothered by "irritating nonsense" get yourself a car or some headphones.

I agree with you. Unless you are in the quiet carriage, in which case they should move.

I agree! Talking is fine on a train, for children and adults...!

My DSIS always gets ticket for the family/young children part of the train (on longer journeys).

I don't know if that's a thing in the UK?

I like to hear a bit of pleasant prattle. Whining is different. And I can see non stop chatter is a bit anti social in close quarters.

A tiny kid once referred to getting the bags "out of the attic" getting off a flight. Her mum shushed her (loudly!) as she had been doing every time the girl opened her mouth the entire trip. There's no need to get into a conversation over it but why not just smile and nod ?

My 8 month old is going through a phase where he sometimes screams really, really loudly. I don't mean an upset cry, he does it when he's happy, a high-pitched shriek. It's like he's just discovered he can do it and thinks it's brilliant. It's actually super cute because he looks so pleased with himself but I realise that no one else, apart from maybe his dad, would agree. If he does it on the bus I'll try and distract and discourage him but I can't exactly tell him off. I think it's tough really, if you want silence and not to deal with normal sounds associated with the general public then buy a car. It's a shared space and noise is inevitable.

Maybe the GM is anxious that other passengers will get annoyed if the child makes noise? You can't win to he fair, some people do get very irritated by children simply being children in public spaces.

Talking at normal conversation level I would consider acceptable for all ages. Also, quiet singing from a child, or a teenager or adult with a disability. I would expect a caregiver to attempt to put a stop to shouting, screaming or shrieking.

If the caregiver was repeatedly raising their voice to tell off a child for talking or quietly singing then I would be tempted to 'shush' the caregiver.

You can't win. Someone will say let them talk away, others will say any noise from a child is deafening.

DH takes 2 year old DS home from nursery in the train. One day DS was being particularly difficult and on the verge of a tantrum. DH got his phone out and put Thomas the Tank Engine on for him (quietly so you couldn't actually hear the phone unless you were close). Two French women looked at him in disgust and said, in French, something to the effect of "I can't believe that child is watching a movie. At that age it will seriously stunt his development". Little did they know DH is French. DH doesn't like confrontation unfortunately and I think it would have been amazing if he spoke back to them and told them to mind their own business. Problem is, he'd have got dirty looks and tuts if he let him scream the carriage down. As a passenger I'd have been more grateful for the video.

@wrenika the thing is that the grandmother in trying to quieten the child is speaking louder than they are! And as I said - there is more than one way to quieten a child - if she was engaging with the child (entertaining them) then he/she wouldn't be so wingy. I've heard no encouragement to 'look at your book/play with your colouring/iPad/whatever.

No it's not a 'quiet' carriage.

Harsh-poor child!

I'd much rather hear a child talking a bit than noise leaking from somebody's headphones. Or even more annoying, noise coming from iPads, phones etc without headphones.

ive also travelled alongside parents who tell their kids to be quiet yet don't give them anything to do. And then sit looking at their phones and not interacting with the kids. Who then start to whinge, get told to be quiet, parents go back to their phone. Rinse and repeat for the entire journey. All for the want of a colouring /sticker book or similar

Public transport is just that, public, so everyone can use it, even children. The child was just being a child, no you cannot expect them to sit still at that age on a long train journey. Wrenika if you don't like any noise, get a taxi, simple as that!

The grandmother sounds a right misery, what is she doing to help the child's boredom, colouring book, magazine, books, talking to the child about the journey and interacting properly.

We got an intercity train last week. I have 2 dd - 10 and 7. We were booked in the quiet carriage and altho fb I tried to change in advance they would not. When we got on a lady huffily said - you do realise this is the quiet carriage. I said yes and it's not my fault I was booked in it. The guy travelling with her was far louder than my children.........

Some people really just despise children. It’s depressing. Children are members of society too. I’m not saying they should be allowed to scream and run riot in all public places, but they shouldn’t be expected to sit in silence for hours either.

I'm much more concerned about passengers who tut loudly at children's 'normal level' noises than I am by the children making the noises. If you're so bothered by "irritating nonsense" get yourself a car or some headphones.

I wonder what your "normal level" noise is. Many parents are indulgent and let them shout and scream to their hearts content. You are putting the rights of the child to do whatever they feel like in the public space; your "remedy" of telling them "to get a car" demonstrates this.

Ignore Wrenika. She/he/it is a plopper and won't be back.

I daresay the child would be making less noise if their adult engaged with them a bit. Though it doesn't seem like the noise they are making is at all unreasonable, anyway.

Personally, I hate shushers. Going "shhhhh!" generally makes more noise than whatever they were trying to silence.