Thinking of turning down DH suggestion

[Clare98]

It’s our tenth wedding anniversary next week and DH has suggested I wear my wedding dress for a celebration meal - at home. Nice idea but I’m not sure. He had a real problem getting me out of the dress after our wedding and I suspect I’ve put a bit of weight on since then. The dress has to come off over my head so there’s a fair chance I’m going to finish up totally stuck. Could be fun.but could be embarrassing.

Wear what you feel comfortable and lovely in. Doesn’t sound like that’s going to be your wedding dress! And that’s okay.

Is there anything else you feel special in that you want to wear instead?

Seems a funny request, would be okay if you’d suggested it, so if it’s not what you want then say no.

Happy anniversary.

Could he be planning a vow renewal? Or something else special because it's your 10th anniversary?

Either way, if the dress doesn't fit it's possibly an idea to see if it can be altered or even shop for a completely new outfit.

Just say you've already thought of an outfit you'd rather wear. Don't wear something you feel will spoil the occasion.

In any case you're a completely different person 10 years down the line, so you could say you want to live in the moment not "relive" your wedding day, wonderful though it was then, it was a totally different context. If he has any emotional intelligence, he will get that.

Don't focus on your weight, it shouldn't have to be about that. It's about how you feel now, you shouldn't have to put yourself down to get the message across.

Planning a renewal of wedding vows without both people being involved in that decision would be totally creepy. It would be like making secret plans to get married would anyone really do that?

Is nobody else finding that request really, really weird?!

Anyway, can't you tell him the truth?! You've been married a decade, just tell him it doesn't fit you properly anymore and you'd feel uncomfortable.

Is it a full-on traditional white wedding dress??
I ask because I wore the dress I got married in on several anniversaries, but it was Thai silk, beautiful vibrant colours & not full length....

Could you counter-suggest he wears his suit? (Obviously not a good idea if he can still get into it though...)

Is nobody else finding that request really, really weird?!

Yes, I am too Can't quite put my finger on why but I think it's a bit creepy.

What is he wearing, Id say no and ask for the money for a lovely new dress.

You really need to show us a picture.
If its a full on traditional one it does sound weird

Hah that's a batshit-level request. You could simply say you won't be happy or comfortable in it and leave it there.

If he's booked some sort of secret vow renewal, run for the hills. I've always been mildly mistrustful of that kind of thing; surely you've already said your vows, they mean as much 10, 20, 30 years later as they did on the day you made them, so why the need to repeat them? Just have a party at the local Connie Club, if you're feeling flush put a few hundred quid behind the bar and watch your family and friends make a holy show of themselves and nurse 3 day hangovers like people did in days gone by.

i think this is pretty odd.
Presumably it’s not you cooking the meal if you’re going to be dressed up in full bridal gear

I think it's creepy too!

Do you still have a veil? Could look alluring over some Bridget Jones knickers and your most washed out bra............ Make sure you get him to wear his wedding tie, second best string vest and Homer Simpson boxers though.

Very odd. So would you just sit down and eat your tea in house with a decade old wedding dress on?

Would he be sitting there in his 10 year old wedding suit?

Yes, who is going to cook this meal?

Is he wearing his wedding suit?

Sounds mad. I wouldn’t. And my dress wasn’t even a long white traditional affair.

A wedding dress is an occasion dress. How is supper at home an occasion, no matter how intimate and lovely?

Say you’ll wear the wedding lingerie instead

Thanks eveyone for your advice. Will opt for a normal meal in a restaurant

I keep thinking of a meal covered in spiders webs aka Mrs Haversham.

Creepy

Does he still fit into the same size suit?

Is nobody else finding that request really, really weird?!

Yes!!

It made me think of those abusive parents in America who kept getting married in Vegas.

It is a really bizarre suggestion.

I'd totally do the Miss Haversham bit with cobwebs etc if it was closer to Halloween.

Is nobody else finding that request really, really weird?!

Context is everything.

Big, white, lacy full-on wedding dress - weird, and not nice for the OP if they feel it's a bit on the tight side with natural curves 10 years on.

Taupe suit with lace camisole under the jacket, natural stockings or tights and nude high heels - gorgeous, and perfect to wear in a smart restaurant for lunch or dinner.

I think it may be the first!

I think it’s fine if he’s suggesting it for a bit of a laugh.