AIBU to think suicide of life coach author sadly undermines her book?

[ThinkingCat]

I am interested in books on personal development and life coaching and have bought quite few over the years. I grabbed one from my bookshelf today to browse through and started making notes. This evening I googled the author and am dismayed to learn that she committed suicide 4 years after the book was published.

It's made me feel.... not only sad for the tragic loss of a bright and lovely-sounding person, but also a bit like.... what's the good of the theory if in practice this has happened. AIBU?

(I'm not having a mental health issue myself, it's more a reflection on theory and practice, or on good advice v. real life struggles)

I don't think the fact she sadly took her own life would undermine the message as you have taken something away from her book.

I do understand though you may have felt positive and then seeing this news would have taken that away. However she clearly left an impression which is the aim of writing such a book.

Nope.

You have absolutely no idea what was going on in her life.

It doesn't invalidate what she's written, it's just desperately sad.

I don’t think that’s fair. Mental health issues are incredibly complex, it’s not as black and white as that.

Some life events are big enough to throw mental health in to jeopardy, irrespective of their profession. Bereavement for example.

You seem to have Missed the important thing about mental health issues though sometimes doing everything right is not enough to save you.

I'm not saying you are but your post seems to suggest that somehow she had some type of control and that could be seen as you blaming her.
That would be like saying because she wrote an article on how to treat cancer but then died of cancer that, she must somehow have had some control over the cancer or was lying about the treatment that she wrote about.

It depends on the diagnosis. Some mental health conditions physically change the chemicals in the brain which obviously then affect how the brain works and perceives information and it's surroundings.

It’s like saying that you wouldn’t trust a doctor if he smoked.

You do understand that a mental health problem is actually an illness that can impact anyone? It's not an indication of failure or that she wasn't a successful person

Fucking hell thats pretty crass!

That was a nope, it doesn't undermine it.

You clearly don't understand severe mental illness. Or suicide.

Self help books are not a solution to the severity of illness and circumstances that lead to suicide. You must realise how many people will find your question naive at best, or just plain offensive?

The only thing that would undermine her life's work of trying to help other people live better, less painful and more fulfilling lives, would be if it didn't help a single person who tried to use it, or was actively harmful instead. Neither of those apply and the manner of her death is irrelevant.

How sad that this is your response to a person losing their life.

I'm sorry, I obviously don't mean to be crass. I probably didn't express it very well. It's more what catsoup said.

The whole self help/wellness thing is flawed if you ask me. Happiness & mental health aren't always in our control.

So because you have been unthoughtful and insensitive in asking this does that undermine any acts of thoughtfulness or sensitivity you have had in the past? Sadly, in your case, very possibly, it does.

Life coaching isn't about having your own house in order, although coaches tend to receive coaching themselves (I know 2 life coaches very well and work with one at a professional level).

There's no reason why a life coach wouldn't feel suicidal but be an extremely effective coach to others. RIP to the author.

Self help is a massive industry profiting off your insecurities. It can't 'fix' anyone, not you or the author.

Doctors commit suicide. That sad fact doesn't negate the good they did while they worked as doctors saving lives and helping people.

BettyBaggins there's no need to be rude.

AppleBlossom I think that is what I was trying to explore.

Who was it OP?

I would have had the exact same thought OP. I don't think it is the thought of a terrible person. I think it's natural to be surprised by suicide, it is after all quite a rare way for a life to end, and wonder about the circumstances. I think it's just an idle thought really.

Which book OP ?

I can see where the OP is coming from. We like to think these 'gurus' have the answers. It's a bit of a slap in the face to realise that no, they don't always have the answers to life's questions, not enough to prevent suicide in any case. Suicide is baffling and very scary. We spend most of our lives trying to ensure our own survival and that of our loved ones. Evolution's got us this far. So when someone deliberately or intentionally ends their life, it's a bit of a headfuck to be honest.

You were "dismayed" to hear it?!

Jeez, Mumsnet - why is this thread in trending?

If this ends up in the press than that lady is going to be instantly identifiable. :(

I don't blame the OP for asking questions about suicide - I have a family member who has attempted suicide - but why encourage maximum traffic?

missbax

dismay
dɪsˈmeɪ/Submit
verb
past tense: dismayed; past participle: dismayed
cause (someone) to feel concern and distress.
"they were dismayed by the U-turn in policy"
synonyms: appal, horrify, shock, shake, shake up; More

Don't see what is wrong with the OP feeling 'concern and distress' 'myself.

Lynne Rosen? I was shocked when she and her fellow life coach partner committed suicide together. They were the Pursuit of Happiness people.

Let’s not speculate on the decision making that lead to the Suicide
The suicide doesn’t lessen the impact or achievement she had in life