AIBU to think suicide of life coach author sadly undermines her book?

[ThinkingCat]

I am interested in books on personal development and life coaching and have bought quite few over the years. I grabbed one from my bookshelf today to browse through and started making notes. This evening I googled the author and am dismayed to learn that she committed suicide 4 years after the book was published.

It's made me feel.... not only sad for the tragic loss of a bright and lovely-sounding person, but also a bit like.... what's the good of the theory if in practice this has happened. AIBU?

(I'm not having a mental health issue myself, it's more a reflection on theory and practice, or on good advice v. real life struggles)

I have to agree that it's often easier to help others than to help yourself.
Many people go into the professions of psychiatry/psychotherapy/counselling because they need help themselves, or have needed it in the past. It often gives them better empathy - but what it doesn't do is guarantee that they themselves are "cured". It does NOT, however, invalidate their ability to help others.

If we're talking about physical comparisons - I am a deep tissue massage therapist. I can help people with their muscular problems, and even completely fix them sometimes - but I can't fix my own, I have to see an osteopath myself to get my own problems fixed.

All counsellors (registered) and I would assume all other psychotherapists are supposed to have regular sessions with their own "mentor" or "supervisor" to debrief, and ensure they're not getting too involved or bogged down with other people's problems, as well as their own. I don't know if this is standard for life coaches because I don't know the regulatory system (despite being trained in NLP myself, I don't practise it)

And, while I'm not speculating about this particular woman, it is a factor to consider that sometimes therapists may feel overwhelmed by client problems, and if the client can't be helped it may adversely affect the mental state of the therapist as well.

I understand why your instinctive reaction might be to feel the way you do, but I don't think your instinct is right in this case.

thelmalouise - so sorry for your loss . Hope you have good RL support.

thelmalouise , he sounds like an amazing man who has left you with a lot of positivity as well as your grief. I'm sorry.

I guess it depends. Was the book on how to not commit suicide when you are feeling suicidal?

Overall, I've been interested in Positive Psychology for a number of years but been quite disturbed at the way it's disseminated and some of the practices as they have their own theoretical holes that leading figures tend to gloss over (despite having come up with their own Positive Psychology version of DSM to highlight some of the holes in that view of mental health and psychology).

Depends what the author's writing said, as well as their interview comments and public statements. Were they minimising mental illness and suicide or claiming their "alternative" therapy could treat depression? Or was their work about how to improve your life for people who are basically mentally healthy?

My Psychologist friend killed themselves. The funeral was full of people he'd helped, people whose lives he'd improved, helped them to lead healthier, better lives through his knowledge, wisdom and experience.

Absolutely no-one thought 'oh it must be bollocks what he helped me to do then'.

1. Life coaching is not designed to treat mental health disorders
2. Even if it were a) psychologists themselves need counselling because they have to hear some dreadful things which can affect them themselves, and they're exposed to many more terrible stories than most of the the people they actually treat b) no medical treatment is 100% effective - the analogy someone gave to cancer is useful, even though what they said about it was bs. A cancer treatment may cure 90% of people with a specific kind of cancer (which would be a very good level of effectiveness). If the person who discovered that treatment then dies of that cancer as one of the 10% of people for whom it doesn't work, do you say the treatment is rubbish and stop using it? Of course not.
3. There are lots of different mental health problems and causes for them, even if she was great at helping people with a particular mental health problem, that doesn't mean she'd be great at helping all of them.

From my own experience the only time I've ever felt suicidal was when I was taking a particular antibiotic. It was very clearly that the treatment was affecting my brain chemistry because I'd never felt like that before or since, and even though I was able to recognise that it was due to the treatment, if I ever had to take it again I'd make sure I had someone with me because I'm genuinely scared that I would hurt myself. My need for that antibiotic had nothing to do with how successful or happy and fulfilled (or whatever it is you're hoping to get out of life coaching) I was generally in my life.