To take a job much lower than my 'worth'?

[onetimeposter]

Advice please.
Single parent. Disability. Recently divorced and fuck all confidence.
I have recently taken unpaid leave for a year and been on ESA. It's been ok, I could stay like that reasonably but actually I hate the isolation.
I'm an academic, highly skilled, well paid, until the last year.
As part of last year I have volunteered somewhere where there is a post as a peer support worker. The pay is four bands lower than where I am and it's part time. I really would enjoy it.
The positives are that I'd love it, the hours are good for managing my newly single parent state, it's manageable and the employer is excellent and has a good pension and annual leave policy. It would give me loads of room to work my way up.
The negatives are that it isn't 'wow', that it is 'below' my educational level-I'm bright, and this would help with the role but the role doesn't reflect that if you see what I mean? I would lose my future of promotion to senior and professor. I will become detatched from current research and practice (already have tbh).
The thought of going back to my academic post makes me feel disinterested, then sick with anxiety. The new role is to do with people I've met whilst ill so I feel a bit self conscious applying but I'd be good at it.
The positives I'm seeing are as starting again, it would build my confidence, give me a reason to get up and dressed, be manageable for my condition and I could do another Masters in a topic I love part time (already know what) which is linked to the role.
Am I selling myself short? All of a sudden I feel my value as a woman has halved-I'm old, a mother and no longer attractive. I haven't only lost confidence but am reconsidering life and the thought of returning to a field with white middle class men looking down at me fills me with dread.
Can I please ask advice from those who've done similar? It means literally starting again and I'm 40. I just want to be a part of something and make a difference. In 2-3 years I could move up a few grades due to my qualifications, but that would be when I'm ready, and give me a salary and pension increase also.
Have just bought my own house post divorce and the payments are manageable with the new role. I can also, more or less, cope childcare wise as opposed to begging people to help week by week or paying huge fees.
AIBU? Thanks in advance.

If you would really enjoy the new job more I would go for it.

I have a degree, a string of qualifications and I used to have a “good” job paying decent money in London. I moved with DP who is military to a small coastal city where wages are low and jobs are scarce. Ended up temping alongside women (and it always seems to be women) who had GCSEs and no higher education. I find it hard knowing I’m capable of so much more yet these admin jobs can be done by people with a couple of GCSEs and an NVQ2.

I’ve quit to be self employed. It’s alao a lot harder to go back into a professional job once you have done a low skilled job for a period of time.

Hi OP,

“What matters most is how you see yourself”.

3 of your old job pros were how other people perceived you, once you stop caring about what other people think you will be able to find yourself. And when you find yourself you will like her, I promise.

Good luck

once you stop caring about what other people think you will be able to find yourself
Yes to this
I am just upset because one of the reasons my marriage broke down was because I wanted to work. My husband said it was the reason for his affairs. Not sure that's true, he had a string of them.
Why didn't I decide to do a low skill job then?
(Although it isn't a low skilled job. It requires a different set of skills which I have and not everyone does).

Ah OP, I was in your position a year ago. I took the lower-paid but easy for childcare / time with my children job. The only thing that hasn't worked out is that the opportunities that I thought there were for working up the ladder don't actually seem to exist after all but it's been a start.
Depending on your area, if you can go from ESA to the new job and can still get tax credits, you may be entitled to the disability element of working tax credit (use an online calculator to see how this might help you and check online to see if the criteria applies to you). This doesn't exist in universal credits though.
Also, with a new employer, Access to Work will pay for any support you need if you refer yourself for an assessment within the first 6 weeks (with your existing employer, they'll expect them to contribute to the cost). The support doesn't have to be in terms of concrete items - I had coaching sessions paid for by them which really helped.
Good luck with getting the job and hopefully having a decision to make!

Forgot to say, you have said that you consider yourself to be disabled. I was on ESA for stress related mental ill health but was subsequently diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum.

Even whilst responding to your post I forgot that I have challenges to overcome that perhaps others don't. So don't be as hard on yourself as I am. There is no right way to live our lives, although a lot of us swallow the work hard at school, work your way up in a career to keep up with the Joneses myth of a good life. Finding a happyish balance is key.

All things considered, I'm doing ok. I'm sure you are too.

That's interesting bit as I am certain I have it, my twins have it.
Life seems harder than it does for other people, just managing life is hard.
Yes to the balance. I just don't think idealising a job is the answer.
Did you go private for the ASD diagnosis?

bamboo that's good to know.
This thread has given great advice, thank you.

Good luck op,I hope you get this job. I think it will contribute greatly to your happiness

No. Assessed and diagnosed by the NHS. Had to wait a while but I insisted on the referral being made by a psychiatrist who was suggesting he would diagnose me with something I know I don't have.

I'm so relieved to be out of the MH system now. Still coming to terms with it but having it confirmed has helped.

Sorry I haven't read all your thread but look into Permitted Work (there should be info on the gov.UK website). As long as you are working less than 16 hours you can stay on your esa and keep all your wages. I think it's to help people who have been long term sick ease back into employment without any comeback if it doesn't work out.
Might give you a chance to trial this particular job to see what you think.

"I was on ESA for stress related mental ill health but was subsequently diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum"

Me too. I'd known for years but it was good to get it officially diagnosed given the mental health intervention. I had an NHS diagnosis - took about 4 months from referral but it depends on your location.

I did Permitted Work like stargazer mentioned for a year or so but there was an earning limit of something like £100 / week before it affected ESA payment slightly and I'm not sure if that's changed given what stargazer has said. As the name implies, you do actually have to get permission to do Permitted Work, and it can apparently trigger a review of your ESA entitlement, although it didn't for me.

Thanks. Will look on that website. I agree the job would make me happy. But i most likely wont get it and there will have been hundreds of applicants.

Dont think a diagnosis would benefit me tbh.
I just dont know whether to force myself back to academic role and keep an eye out for jobs, or stay as i am and keep looking.

I don't see why you can't go back to your academic career. Get a good or new hair cut, possibly a couple of new out fits. Most of all, who cares what old, middle aged men think ! You are now young, free, single, intelligent, so why should you sell yourself short ? It's your choice, but I would not be sacrificing a good career, because I was worrying what old, middle aged men think !

Lim thanks. I do need a haircut thanks so will give it a go.
I don't really care what they think, it's more my own perception of reduced worth.
Young, free single, I don't feel young, kids stop me being free and tbh if anyone asked me out I'd think they were joking so mmm.
I am intelligent but the topic I'm working on seems so dry, I'm not sure I want to continue.
But you're right. The old bores can sod off!
To whomever said that their wives enable them to prance around the world on conferences was correct. Seen it time and time again while they continue with their over inflated senses of self worth.

I'm fortunate to have a job that pays fairly well. I therefore have some spare cash for family, pension, savings, holidays, luxuries, hobbies etc. I enjoy my out of work life, more than my in work life. I have a good work, life balance. I would think hard before you make any drastic changes.

Thanks. I am continuing with the academic job but if this comes up I will take it. I am exploring options academically also.
Well done on your balance it sounds good. I suppose that money means a lot though having punched the figures into a tax credit calculator things look manageable. X