To take a job much lower than my 'worth'?

[onetimeposter]

Advice please.
Single parent. Disability. Recently divorced and fuck all confidence.
I have recently taken unpaid leave for a year and been on ESA. It's been ok, I could stay like that reasonably but actually I hate the isolation.
I'm an academic, highly skilled, well paid, until the last year.
As part of last year I have volunteered somewhere where there is a post as a peer support worker. The pay is four bands lower than where I am and it's part time. I really would enjoy it.
The positives are that I'd love it, the hours are good for managing my newly single parent state, it's manageable and the employer is excellent and has a good pension and annual leave policy. It would give me loads of room to work my way up.
The negatives are that it isn't 'wow', that it is 'below' my educational level-I'm bright, and this would help with the role but the role doesn't reflect that if you see what I mean? I would lose my future of promotion to senior and professor. I will become detatched from current research and practice (already have tbh).
The thought of going back to my academic post makes me feel disinterested, then sick with anxiety. The new role is to do with people I've met whilst ill so I feel a bit self conscious applying but I'd be good at it.
The positives I'm seeing are as starting again, it would build my confidence, give me a reason to get up and dressed, be manageable for my condition and I could do another Masters in a topic I love part time (already know what) which is linked to the role.
Am I selling myself short? All of a sudden I feel my value as a woman has halved-I'm old, a mother and no longer attractive. I haven't only lost confidence but am reconsidering life and the thought of returning to a field with white middle class men looking down at me fills me with dread.
Can I please ask advice from those who've done similar? It means literally starting again and I'm 40. I just want to be a part of something and make a difference. In 2-3 years I could move up a few grades due to my qualifications, but that would be when I'm ready, and give me a salary and pension increase also.
Have just bought my own house post divorce and the payments are manageable with the new role. I can also, more or less, cope childcare wise as opposed to begging people to help week by week or paying huge fees.
AIBU? Thanks in advance.

Gold there isn't really a 'university of life watching EastEnders crew'! I will be working with patients. But within a team of professionals all of whom are above me.
So I will be best of both worlds I think.
Even if I don't get it I know the direction I want to take in life now.

Cross post matilda!
I'm a size 16. Being fat is the invisibility thing, I don't groom because I'm fat. If I were thinner I'd dress better and do my hair and makeup. I used to have a good style of scarves etc. My friends are all 'oh but you can't tell, you're fine', but I just feel large.
I take painkillers making it hard to lose weight but am going to start swimming and eating 3 healthy meals a day.

It's muscle loss as you age...it is a thing plus hormones, etc. Google sarcopenia. Best to think in terms of body composition not weight as peak muscle is at age and people often think if they get back to that weight, they'll be the same size and it's not the case.

Exercise will help with mental health, bone health and confidence, too.

Swimming is good but you need some resistance stuff in the mix too, bodyweight stuff is good. Holistic care for the win. :-)

Thanks Pippy. I'm not bothered about weight at all, just want to be in smaller clothes. Would be happy as a 12. My shape has changed-my tummy is fat and I was always slim waisted.

OP, I quit as a Reader a few months ago - just completely lost it. My mh had been deteriorating rapidly since I'd moved to that institution. I don't own a home, don't have a partner or children (missed the boat there as was focussed on the ever-increasing demands of work), didn't have anything apart from work, even when I was supposed to be on AL.

RL has been stressful, to put it mildly, since then, but my MH has improved approximately a thousand-fold. The situation with my former institution is very likely to end up in court, but I am still feeling so much better. Once it's all ended, I'm planning on taking a 9-5 type job overseas, and doing something other than work. Academia is great for people with minor mh issues, as it enables you to manage these well. When you have severe issues, though, I find it exacerbates them enormously, and in my case, my institution was not in any way supportive either. It's a great job for someone who is capable of switching off, or who isn't a total perfectionist, or who doesn't have major mh issues. If, like me, you suffer from the Trifecta of Torture, it's a horrendous job, that makes everything a million times worse. It's true that it does have status - BUT, that doesn't do you any good once you're dead.

I'm a bit older than you,OP, and a few months further down the line. But if you have found something that genuinely excites you, why not give it a go? I'm willing to bet your only regret will be that it took you so long

Hefzi thanks so much.
Yes I find academia a mentally horrendous thing and some of the job I can work from home, when I spend the day in pyjamas reading and on a computer. This is especially more damaging in the winter when I am then again in the house all through the dark evening into the next day. I NEED something to get up and dressed for, which gets me out which gives me real world meaning.

This is perfect, I will be disappointed if I don't get it.
I'm going to write a resignation letter later, but keep it saved for a while. If I do get it I've decided I'm not going to do anything academic for a year. Just get used to the new routine and home life for a while.

I actually feel excited about the chance of such a new life.

Can you ask who will be on the interview panel? Its' just I know some of them through volunteering and would like to be prepared to be faced with a panel of them before I go in.

Good call on waiting a year to do anything academic, I think: I've found my plans have changed radically over the last few months, and the path I was thinking I'd follow this autumn, for which there ended up not being spaces, is now really low on my list of possibilities - I am trying to unacademise myself now

You can definitely ask who is on the panel ime - they may even tell you when they give you the details, but if not, I'd definitely ask. Did you say that the closing date isn't for a while? I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you all the way!

Also - how about having a look around to see whether there is something else advertised atm that might work for you: hopefully, you won't need a back up, of course, but it might give your confidence a boost for The Job if you got another interview/offer etc

Thanks Hefzi.
I also need to become familiar with a way of living where starting the academic year means millions of plans and targets.
If I get it, a new job will be enough to contend with.
I've never let myself relax or go with anything before.
And yes this job may very well not happen. I imagine there will be LOADS of applicants so to get it would be amazing.
I do need to focus on my own experiences of disability, rather than my academic skills because that's the point of the job.
Am going to look for other similar opportunities as well.

May I ask, obviously on the very large possibility I won't get the job, would it be better to continue in my current job (return in a fortnight) until I am offered something? Is it easier to get a job when in a job, or would just volunteering be as good?
Never been in this position before.

I'm honestly not sure: what's your notice period? The disadvantage of not having something to go to is, obviously, potentially not having income coming in, but if you think it would make your mh worse to return, then I think that would be a lot worse. As you are looking for a completely different role, I would think that volunteering would be just as valuable as being in paid employment, but I would also be the first to admit that this is based on little but anecdote! Could you ask someone where you're volunteering now for advice? Alternatively, could you manage on just pip and esa etc if necessary?

Notice period is half a term. So could leave after October half term/mid semester point. I'm not worried so much about money, yes can survive on that, it is the fear of a CV gap. I am however doing voluntary work with something new from next month so that will be something to put.

Too tired for a long response but I've done this. In a way it was essential to get my confidence back which I'd all but lost.

I'm earning less now than I did as a graduate 20 years ago but then when I took this job I'd been on ESA and really did think I was worthless.

Three years on I'm ready to move on and considering options that I wouldn't have looked at when I took this job.

Thanks bithe that's good to know. Glad you've moved on.

I wouldn't burn any bridges til you're sure...

Your story is familiar to me...

I think often the issue isn't the fact you can ONLY be happy in a job with less stress well below your pay band...

But often, women (it's nearly always women) are exhausted, discriminated against and generally not given the support that male academics are...

Often it's finding the 'same' job with a better employer... Make sure you don't make a category error! (it's the job rather than employer and the very specific environment you're working in!)

I have a degree and PhD in biochemistry. Im 48 and training to be a veterinary nurse. Its a level 3 qualification. It is also bloody hard work as is the job. I could earn more money working in tesco!

But, i have a serious mental illness and i refuse to compromise my mental health for 'wow" and money.

That doesnt stop me from feeling frustrated at the lack of professional recognition for my career (i honestly believe people think i cuddle kittens for a living) and the quite frankly piss take remuneration but i FUCKING LOVE MY JOB.

I feel fullfilled and challenged and supported. I was an academic before i became unwell and the insecurity and funding issues would tip me over the edge.

My only regret is not doing it before and listening to people who told me "but you are so much brighter than that"

Do what makes you happy and fullfilled. "Wow" isnt for you its for other people.

It's still psychologically hard. I have three degrees - first at Oxbridge - and so I tell myself that I should be doing so much more with my life but 'shoulds' really don't make for a healthy lifestyle!

Ironically I'd actually like to go into academia and have been working on mental health through a job I got volunteering first.

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm the sort of person who is never satisfied because I wasn't happy in my supposedly high flying corporate career either.

I just need to find something that matches my interests, values and is well remunerated. Don't we all!

But definitely I can see that I've made huge progress and had I not taken this job I could've really dwindled away on benefits.

Yes I do believe I'd be better in another University in a different department. However getting from here to there would be challenging. If I leave ESA, to return to work, then I will not be able to return to it should it be unmanageable but rather apply for universal credit which fills me with dread and could leave me months without money, most likely over Christmas. That scares me. The job for which I have applied is manageable. That is the top and bottom of it.
Cons of returning to current role:
Distance and commute
Difficulties with other staff (pre-existing)
Mentally and physically damaging
Don't want to
Pros of returning:
Money (if all goes well)
In a job to get a job
No CV gaps
It sounds good
I will 'look' successful
With perseverance I could go far, but I don't have the energy
People may think I'm stupid to leave and that I've let myself down

If I get this job I will accept immediately but am scared I won't. It's ideal and there are no others around here, have looked.
The worry over going back to the job is all day every day.

That doesnt stop me from feeling frustrated at the lack of professional recognition for my career (i honestly believe people think i cuddle kittens for a living) and the quite frankly piss take remuneration but i FUCKING LOVE MY JOB.
This, is what I want.
I don't care what people think I do.
The 'audience' judging me is my own ego.

Bit that sounds like me. Never pleased!

Hi OP

Like other posters I did something similar to what your planning. I separated last year from ex and went straight back in to my old career (had taken a career break after DC2). Within a few months I was seriously depressed and anxious. My stress levels were through the roof and my children were also suffering because I was away from them for such a long time.

I changed career at the start of the year staying in the same sector but a role that required less qualifications. Now I have a perfect work life balance if I do say so myself. My mental health has improved, my children are happier and I have more time to work on myself doing the things I love. I don't want to stay doing what I am forever but for now it pays my bills and enables me to concentrate on the things that I actually care about.

Someone once said to me you can rebuild your career but you can never turn back time and get back those years you miss with your children. Hope that helps.

True. I was apologising for not being ambitious at work, and then I thought, I'm ambitious to build the life that works for me/my DC.

That last sentence really struck me back because I worked so hard when my eldest were little that I totally missed out on my daughter's preschool years. I miss that, and I regret it.
I don't want to be away from them again and this is what will happen.
This thread has given me the guts to realise I don't want to go back.
It is just how I approach that now.
Whether I get this new job or not.
I can go back to academia in 10 years, even if I start in a much lower role. Fuck it. That's the decision made.

I understand the struggle you are having with feeling like your selling yourself short. I sometimes get embarrassed to tell people what I'm doing especially if they knew what I was doing before. However the way I see it is that you have to do what is best for you now. Life is a journey and you can always take a break on the way to where you want to go. Force yourself onwards and you could end up crippling your self confidence and mental health because you are doing something that looks good but makes you miserable. You have to be mentally well for your children as well as yourself. You can continue to develop whilst doing your new role and find something that you will be really passionate about and excel in. That's my plan anyway.

I think it is no coincidence that in the year I've been off my children have developed academically immensely, going from below average to both flying through SATS above age expectations (twins). They are attending clubs, and very settled at home. I am unhappy doing nothing but will find something manageable. I will not give up my security before that.