AIBU to report her for benefit fraud...

[Bringyourown]

Very long story short. Person I know has been claiming benefits for at least 7 years I've known her.
Now this is a case of sour grapes, she misrepresented herself to me and basically used me for all she could get out of me, and me being stupid and gullible and so happy that someone liked me that I gave her everything I could.
I've been stewing on this for months and my mental health has broken down to the point I just can't get out of bed. I have nothing and nobody left.
She is a dog walker/boarder, horse trader and now a scrap metal merchant.
Should I report her or should I just put it down to experience?

Check your facts such as her entitlement before contacting the relevant department

User i don’t know the exact name but I think it’s called a hardship loan where they loan you money until your benefits are sorted .

Don’t let all these don’t report comments put you off. I wonder what other crimes these people would witness and not report .

I know it sounds petty, and being honest it probably is. However, this woman is one of the biggest con artists I have ever met. Everybody loves her because she is so "kind" and "giving" of herself. I felt sorry for her because I know how hard it is to survive on benefits as a single mother and I know she would do her absolute best for her children. But her best is to lie and cheat and misrepresent herself.
I'm the type of person that would bend over backwards for their friends and "overlook" bad behaviour in the hope that my "good" behaviour would rub off a bit.
She is so good at lying that I had no idea what she was doing to me. She dragged every last drop of life out of me that she could and then binned me spectacularly. I know she would know it was me; as I said everyone loves her. I am quite a bit afraid of her and she knows it.
She employs deceipt as her number one tool. She is a confidence trickster. I loved her and would have done anything to make her happy and she knew it, played me for it and beat me down to ashes. I feel completely foolish and it has destroyed my confidence (as it was designed to do). I'm like one of those women who hand over their bank balance to a smarmy guy. Except she was my "friend". So yes, petty, sour grapes, revenge etc etc.
So, what do I do? I'm going round in circles, I take the chance that she will come after me if I report her, I feel sick that she just carries on using people to the best of her ability and I know that she has spread a bunch of lies about me to justify her behaviour towards me. Our mutual friends have nothing to do with me and I know that she is the cause of it. I have been left with nothing, and nobody and these days I am really wondering if their is any future for me at all, I feel so destroyed. Do I let her continue to destroy me or do I take decisive action?
I can't get off this roundabout and it's making me sick.

I'd absolutely report anyone who I knew or suspected of benefit fraud. There will be an investigation and if innocent they shall carry on as before but of found guilty then they'll face the deserved consequences.

Call the hotline and then put her out of your mind and concentrate on getting yourself back to being healthy & happy

OP don’t beat yourself up we have all been taken advantage of it happens to everyone . Did she take a lot of money off you ?

sweetsomethings

Because if that was indeed the case, then quite honestly - someone not being able to work because of a tiff with a friend strikes me as a form of benefit fraud in itself!

So many on here willing to ruin peoples lives .

Vindictive is the word I am seeking here . So many of you come under that , its appalling .!! I suppose though, YOU TYPE, are fine and money not an issue .. For some poor cow though, who MAY have done NOTHING wrong, it could ruin her life . Soon as a report is in the DWP stop any monies but yea go ahead OP , she took everything from you ? Don't you have a tongue ? Can you not speak ?
Are you on ESA for your depression ?

Melons mental health is not benefit fraud . Can’t believe you think it is.

Calm down Lessa ruin her life she would get all her payments backdated . It’s appaling you are willing to help people commit fraud that would make you as guilty as the person defrauding the government .

I am not claiming benefits thanks.

Playing exactly into the governments dirty hands. The little people turn on each other, meanwhile the rich fiddle on a huge scale and get away with it.

Yep divide and rule

If you know for certain she is claiming what she shouldn't then report her but I can guarantee that won't bring you closure. Ignore her and move on. Focus on your life and your friends and family. Sod her and what she is doing. At least you have learnt a valuable lesson, not to trust so easily.
Let it go. Move on.

Pastimes so if someone broke into your car you wouldn’t report as it’s the little people turning on each other .

I'd absolutely report anyone who I knew or suspected of benefit fraud. There will be an investigation and if innocent they shall carry on as before but of found guilty then they'll face the deserved consequences.

I agree.

So it’s not about her committing any type of benefit fraud you just won’t to shop her because your pissed off over what she did to you. Talk about nasty sour grapes. Just forget about it and move on ruining someone else’s life won’t make you feel any better about what she did.

Report the money-grabbing cow

Report her. She's stealing from everyone who pays tax. And contributing to the way DWP/HMRC/the media assumes that people claiming benefits are on the fiddle and are don't deserve them.

Everyone saying don't report her would be calling the police if she'd stolen their purse or jewellery. It's exactly the same thing. She is stealing from the taxes you paid to support those in our society who need help. Theft is theft. We all pay more tax because of shit like this and people who are genuinely entitled get shafted and denied help.

And don't bother giving the big companies don't pay enough taxes excuse. No they don't. But it is the poor and disabled who are left paying the price. Cheeky fuckers like this are why the poor and disabled who are in receipt of benefits are vilified. She's making life worse for people who are actually entitled.

The thing is though that the friend could well be declaring everything she earns as a self employed person and is having it taken into consideration . The jobs you cite arent often well paid unless they have been established for quite a while so she would still be entitled to some benefit help.

It does sound as though you want to be vindictive but dont want any comeback. I understand that but I dont think this route will help you in the end even if it was true and she was fined or whatever as a punishment. Then what? She will still be her and you will still be you but now there is a horrible secret that must never been known.

Try to put whatever she did behind you. If she hurt you or stole from you it is all now in the past. If she spreads lies about you that are believed by friends they were never your friends. Maybe write it all down - create a story board about you informing on her and then what happened next using your wildest imagination.

What is she claiming that she shouldn't be?

If you are sure you are correct then report, but if you are doing it for revenge or think off will make you feel better, it won't.

If you report you also have to be prepared that she could be found to have done nothing wrong.

Ok done it, let's see what shit hits the fan for me...

I can't see how reporting her is going to fix your life though OP.

Well that was quick...

You sound like you've been terribly burned by this person OP.

Why don't you take a few days to sleep on it?

What actually happened?