So so so conflicted about secondary school choice

[Bellocy]

Firstly, I'll preface this by saying that I fully recognise how privileged we are to have these choices.

Dd is going into year 5 at a private girls' junior school, which has a secondary on the same site. It's very rare for a child at the junior school not to get into the secondary - they just have to pass the exam and don't have to do an interview - so as dd is very academic, she is effectively guaranteed a place.

Alternatively, we could send her to our local Ofsted oustanding state comprehensive, that she is also almost certain to get into as we can see it from our house.

We've been trying to weigh it up:

Private school pros
- super academic, she'll be surrounded by bright kids like her
- smaller class sizes (max 24) - more individual attention
- incredible facilities - swimming pool, brand new library
- all girls - no disruptive boys

Private school cons
- Coach journey takes 40 minutes each way. She leaves the house at 7:20 each morning
- Huge catchment area - friends all over the place
- All girls - she doesn't have much interaction with boys outside of school as she has two sisters, and her main activity is GirlGuiding; would it mean she won't learn how to interact with boys?

State school pros
- She could leave the house at 8:20 and be on time - more time for sleep
- Get home 1.5 hours earlier (shorter school day) so get homework done sooner, more free time
- Local friends within walking distance
- learning to interact with people of all academic abilities
- If she and her sisters all go state for secondary, we could afford much nicer holidays, can save loads more for them for university/first cars/house deposits

State school cons
- not all the kids there will want to learn, more disruption?
- less focus on the brightest kids, not being stretched as much
- larger class sizes, less individual attention

In your case I would go for the private school, and I don't often say that.

I wouldn't worry about her not socialising with boys. Firstly, girls find ways of finding boys! Secondly, adult men are an entirely different prospect to adolescent boys. I went to an all girls school then a male dominated uni course then male dominated job, no problems. I think single sex education in small classes is a wonderful gift to give your daughter. No pressure to be attractive, or dumb herself down for the boys, fantastic.

The exam results of these schools are:

A level
- Private: 34% A, 80% A-A, 99% A*-B
- State: 21% A, 45% A-A, 75% A*-B

Is your daughter happy at the school? Does she want to progress to the secondary school?

Never mind what the school results are, which one will enable your child to be happy and reach her full potential?

Can you afford to keep her in private, comfortably? Do you have other, younger children? These are the things I would be asking myself. If money is not an issue, I’d stick with private, but if it’s going to be a stretch and/or you have other kids who will have to follow the same path (looks a bit mean if you only send one to private) then I’d go with the comp, which looks like it’s a pretty good one anyway

What does your dd want? Doesn't she want to stay with the friends she has made at her current school? She could do extra curricular that involves boys, sport or cadets of some sort?

I would go state, but then I cannot imagine spending the best part of a million pounds on my children’s education, especially with an outstanding school on my doorstep.

Based on those results I would say that the state school is a very good one, and there wouldn't be much disruption around to be able to get grades like that.

I would maybe look around both and see what she likes the most?

Secondary school can be so tiring for them, and a 40 minute coach ride each day is a lot of time in which she could be having fun, making memories with you and her siblings, going out with friends or doing clubs etc that she will enjoy.

If you are comparing A level results, you also need to compare the 'acceptance into 6th form' requirements.
But those A level results from the comp look good to me.

Say you are at 20k per year for 7 years, for 3 children.
That is 630k the fees will cost you.

Op I'm in a similar dilemma but with grammar or local school.

Following this thread with interest. I keep swaying but right now I'm swaying towards the closest school.
For the pros you mention.

If both schools have excellent clubs, good top sets where dc are stretched and taken care of, what's better about private.

Will she come out with same results.
I think my dd will and the extra time at home, in bed, local friends is a huge draw but my heart is very much with me the other school.

If the state school isn’t selective in its intake I’d say it was the better school. You can pay for swim lessons in some of the time you’ll gain.

Sd249.

You make excellent point about that time spent with siblings. They an also move for 6 form.

If she's happy and circumstances allow, I'd leave her in the private school. I'd look at destination of leavers, not just the grades. If you want her to go to uni etc she needs to be around people who inspire her. Don't be fooled by an ofsted grade - our local primary is rated outstanding but that was two headteachers ago and it's definitely not an actively outstanding school now....

You know - none of your state school pros are all that persuasive ...

40 minutes travel is nothing if regular and reliable. If she travels with others from school it’s social time, if not she can read or learn vocab or whatever.

The private school possibly has a fuller day, getting more done both academically and extra-curricular-ly. So she may find it necessary to spend comparatively more time on homework if she goes to the state school.

There’s no great advantage in having all your friends living minutes away in your teens.

What’s the great thing about interaecting with people of all abilities? If she’s clever and you’re expecting her to go on to university etc? She’s already on a pathway that means her friends will also be clever ...

Your final argument holds no water if the local school won’t help her towards her goals.

Just because they’re at private school doesn’t mean the kids will want to learn!

I would go state, in this situation, as it’s an excellent school. It sounds like her and your quality of life will be better. The facilities aren’t as good but you’ll have the time and finances to supplement that yourself.

Girls are disruptive too, as are kids in private schools. Have a look around and then decide.

Gruach.

She will already be in top sets with people of same ability though.

Check size of teaching groups at both - you might be surprised how little difference there can be in setted subjects. Do the schools offer pretty much the same range of subjects - languages, further maths, DT options?

But the key thing, when looking at adolescence, is where you think your DD will be happy. Is she happy where she is?

Does she like change? What are her current friendship groups like? What is she like in new circumstances? Is she typical in the way she makes friends, or is she shy? What views has she expressed in either school?

She is very happy at the private junior school and has a lot of friends - although as the school goes from 2 classes in year 6 to 6/7 classes in year 7, they'll likely be mixed up.

It is a lovely school - very nurturing, lots of time outside, amazing exam results without feeling like an exam factory.

In terms of range of subjects at GCSE, it's pretty similar.

Only real differences are that the private school offers Latin and Ancient Greek, which the state school doesn't, and the state school offers Business, Food Tech, and Resistant Materials, Graphics etc. (Private school only does genera DT)

*general

Sounds like you want private but don't want to admit it to yourself

I have a similar dilemma. DD is going into y4. Good all rounder, dislikes sport, talented musician. DX with ASD and sensory processing disorder. We are on the boundary for a grammar but honestly by the time we apply the distance will have shrunk further. I’m against tutoring for 11+ other than familiarising with the papers. Good school on our doorstep but will have no friends there as currently at an indie. I work in a good school which I may be able to get her in as I’m a member of staff and it’s an academy that uses that as one of its criteria. Worried she might not flourish with me there all the time. Realistically small class sizes are what she needs (one of the reasons we moved to indie) and that means private. But then I don’t want her to be entitled and think that everyone lives like her friends at private. What to do? I feel for you. I would say that if your daughter is academic and in a school like you describe available in state then I’d pick state. You can supplement with additional experiences and tuition if needed. What I’d be concerned about is enrichment and networking . I know that to succeed at top uni interviews candidates dont just need grades, work exp helps. Let’s face it-the student who has spent the summer as w exp at a vets or journo at a magazine will be more likely to get the place than the one who had a Saturday retail job. Often but not always those connections come through networking which some state schools cannot offer.

Ps contrary to what a PP said, having local friends in your teens is a MASSIVE advantage!

At A level, the private school has fewer options - just the traditional academic subjects plus Politics, Economics and Philosophy (and Latin/Greek)

The state school does all these (bar Latin/Greek) plus Business, law, photography, psychology. Some of them are taught at another local state school though - the students get a minibus between the schools.

Id leave her at the private school.

Obviously all schools are different but the top set in the secondary schools where i have worked always have 32 in the class, and sometimes 33. Not even enough desks for everyone! Bottoms sets on the other hand have around 10 students.