Would you say SIL is a Cheeky Fucker?

[escapetothecuntree]

I'm extremely unfit to leave the house today. I'm okay within myself but looking after DS of 8 months is hard enough. He's walking, and I can't walk. If I do, I flood everywhere, despite heavy duty pads

SIL thinks I'm ill with a vomiting bug (she saw me vomiting yesterday), but really I'm heavy bleeding from a miscarriage. We didn't tell anyone so I just want to keep it a secret.

SIL looks after our nephews (2.5 and 1 year) 2.5 days a week, for next to nothing so I understand she must be getting stressed. She's had them overnight recently because their mum is working away. Only happens twice a year when the work is there. SIL also has her own DC, age 8 and 3.

We all have a rota to walk our MIL's dog, since she isn't there during the day anymore for reasons I won't go into.

Today was my day. SIL messaged saying "Are you in London today?"

I said no, as I had to cancel. I'm still ill vomiting.

SIL "I was going to say, if you come and sit with the kids for an hour I'll go walk the dog"

I said that's fine, I was going to get a taxi there to MIL's.

SIL said "Ok" and then 5 mins later texted to say "Let me know if you feel better later and I'll go walk Harley as I need to pop to Iceland"

AIBU or is she being a bit cheeky? She thinks I'm vomiting.

Why would I want to go and look after another 4 children, 3 of which need their bums wiping?

It just seems off to me.

AIBU or is it a bit cheeky fucker?

So she had said if you feel better can you give her a hand? She's asked a question. That doesn't make her cheeky. You can just decline.
If she had of turned up with the children, dumped them then ran, that would make her a CF

I’m confused. Didn’t you say yes it was fine?

Lyndor I told her I have a virus, a vomiting bug.

If someone told me that, I wouldn't message again and ask if they were okay yet because I needed a favour. I'd feel like I was pressuring them a bit to change their mind and agree to it

Also, since I said I have a bug, I shouldn't be around those kids anyway because bugs spread

Don’t see the problem, she only asked.

Sorry about your miscarriage but no I don’t think she is being cheeky.

Not Sorry, I wasn't clear in the OP.

In the text I said, "Not to worry about walking him, it's fine, I'll get a taxi there"

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage

If she doesn't know the truth about how bad you're feeling then she could genuinely be thinking she's doing you a favour by walking the dog for you while you sit indoors.

Sometimes people vomit one day and are almost completely fine the next day, but understandably, you are going to be feeling significantly worse than you could be if it were just a bug. Your sil isn't to know though, so if she is nice usually then give her the benefit of the doubt and concentrate on looking after yourself.

In that case I think she was trying to do you a favour by walking the dog.

Nails Thank you

But just to be clear, we don't walk him. We let him out in the garden.

So it theory, what would you rather do if you were sick? Sit on a sofa after opening a garden door, or look after 5 kids for an hour or so, who need bum wipes etc etc whilst you're nauseous and vomiting?

Just read that I used the words 'walking him' in the last post and OP

Apologies. That's misleading. As I say, we don't walk him. We just let him out the back garden

I would prefer to do whichever one didn’t involve a taxi tbh. Taxis and sickness are not a good combination...

Sounds like she needs a break and a bit of fresh air and is desperate enough to even risk you passing the vomiting bug to her kids. Not cheeky, sad. I would be pissed off if I was the other parent and my 2 young kids came down with it because of this. But since it sounds like she’s an illegal underpaid childminder, I guess I’d not have much choice.

I think she is an absolute idiot to want to bring someone with a vomiting bug into the house with 4 other kids in it! However she may have assumed that the vomiting was actually morning sickness and you are using the kind of excuses we all do when we are hiding being pregnant. Maybe she knew you were trying? Try not to get angry at people's assumptions when the obviously don't know the full facts.... and I am so sorry you are going through this. Take it easy on yourself and focus on recovery.

And, if you threw up yesterday (and she saw you) why have you decided you don’t actually have a contagious bug too?

Sorry about what you are going through and hope your ok. Your response to SIL implies that you are fine/feeling better. Think it would have been better to say that your still not feeling right and going to struggle walking to MIL's hence why you need a cab.

You seem determined to paint her in a bad light. Do you not like her?

Waiting Unfortunately both involve a car ride

Fiesta She is paid £200 a month to look after them. Shocking really.

She is extremely stressed, but even when I ask what she'll do with her youngest does to school next September (her work are happy to up her hours), she says "It all depends on these 2, dunno what the situation will be and if X and Z will be able to afford to put them into childcare"

And, if you threw up yesterday (and she saw you) why have you decided you don’t actually have a contagious bug too?

I have HG sickness

I'm really sorry about your miscarriage

I don't think you should go near children (or anyone) if you're being sick as you quite possibly have a contagious bug.
On that note, it wouldn't be ok to get a taxi either. Taxi drivers are generally self employed and if you pass your bug on to them then they can't work. No work = no money.

I think you just need to tell SIL you're too ill to do either today.

Hope things settle down soon

rainbow'Thank you

But I don't have a bug, thankfully

Sorry about your miscarriage OP. is it not possible to tell them about your miscarriage because they would probably be a lot more understanding and give you a bit of space ?

I don't understand. She asked you if you'd sit with the kids for an hour and you said yes.

Why is she a CF? Because she wants to go to Iceland? Mums do go to Iceland.

bunny No, quite a judgy family and we definitely weren't trying.

Shump I didn't word things very well but no I didn't say yes.

It's not the asking, it's the why would you ask in the first place if you know someone had a viral/sickness bug?

So sorry for what you're going through but I don't really think she was being cheeky

Sorry to hear about your miscarriage, OP.

Perhaps your SIL thinks that because you can manage to get a taxi to MIL you're not that ill any more, and that's why she second the second text? I don't think she's being a CF.