Broken my veganism today

[Stepstepmother]

And had to tell someone!

I’ve been a vegan for a few years - for environmental reasons and the argument that it’s much more possible to feed the world when we eat a plant based diet. It’s genuinely been a sacrifice as I love eating meat and fish and dairy - but I’ve done it. Lately I’ve been toying with the idea of giving myself a secret day off. Just one day, then back to it. That day was today. So I’ve eaten...

A buttery cheese croissant for breakfast
Rare steak with beef dripping chips and creamed spinach for lunch
A chicken thigh pita with halloumi cheese, caramelised onions, and garlic aoli for dinner.

It’s all been epic. And totally secret. I’m back on the straight and narrow vegan route again tomorrow and will look forward to my next cheat day in a few years time. But I just had to share.

(I know I’ve posted in AIBU - so, was I unreasonable?)

"OP smells of beef right now"

he reason why the label is important to me is because it aff cts how other people treat you and how seriously they take your dietary requirements. PEople will make an effort for a vegan - they won’t for a mostly vegan/flexitarian/ethical eater

So you're saying you want other people to take your "dietary requirements" far more seriously than you do? As in you need a special vegan meal at someones wedding but you can eat a steak if you just feel like it and don;t tell anyone?

How ethical of you.

I would also like to know at what point after eating mean can OP rejoin the vegans? Must she also shower to get that beef smell off

I’ve just brushed my teeth - am I more of a vegan now??

Seriously, if I had never been vegan before and was embarking on it as a brand new vegan tomorrow, would you seriously be saying I don’t count yet as I have meat in my colon.

Or is it simply that my reasons for being a vegan are ‘wrong’? And therefore I’ll never cpunt

Veganism is doing a great job of putting lots of people off here.

It's very true it's a bit dodgy as to whether strict veganism is actually better environmentally.

Castigation really isn't a great way to convince people.

Am I the oracle or something? I don't fecking know! But not today, and not tomorrow, and not until she removes the notion from her noggin that you can eat steak and still call yourself a vegan!

Am just trying to understand your position. The vegan blogs I’ve read all seem to be less hasty to rescind vegan status, upon lapse, than you are.

I don’t think I’d ever consider you to be a vegan. You’re just someone who apparently eats a mainly plant based diet who will choose to occasionally reconcile eating animals & animal products (rare/medium/whatever) steak, chicken, cheese, butter. That’s not the same as being vegan.

I think you need to be brutally honest with yourself about your seemingly desperate need to be seen to be ‘vegan’ or virtuous about your food choices, even to the point of starting an AIBU. Cognitive dissonance perhaps?

Castigation really isn't a great way to convince people.

Being vegan means something specific. Giving up meat and dairy. Nobody has an issue with the op describing herself as eating a “mostly vegan diet”.

In the same way as vegans forgo meat and dairy, you can’t be teetotal and occasionally choose to drink alcohol without people pointing out the inconsistency in how you’re describing yourself.

@Botanicbaby so if I’d met you yesterday and said completely truthfully that I’d been a strict vegan for 3.5 years, that wouldn’t have been sufficient? I wasn’t one?

This thread is why people take the piss out of vegans.

This thread is why people take the piss out of vegans.

Because they don’t think people who choose to eat meat can be called vegans?

AGain @purpledaisys - if we’d met yesterday and I’d described myself as a vegan and explained my strict diet, would that have been sufficient?

If we met this time next week (to save any colon issues!) and I explained my diet and said I had no immediate plans to ever eat animal products again, would that be sufficient?

I've read the word Vegan so many times that it's become meaningless.
I wish I had your willpower OP, I tried being vegan once and lasted 5 days. Literally couldn't handle my cheese craving!

This thread is EXACTLY why people get pissed off with preachy veganism.

No room for erring. No room, we must all CONFORM in our not conforming.

OP, you sound very reasonable, rational and human.

Apologies in return, I get that if you are making a massive massive effort to stay vegan, people wanting to remove your right to use the term after one day in three years is pretty galling (and bonkers). Equally, I think you are effectively buying into the same zealotry by trying to be an extremely strict vegan. On balance, less meat and dairy is good. But the planet will not be affected one iota by your eating a piece of chicken from a tiny local farm or some wild game - in fact it will probably reduce the co2 emissions of that day's eating. The 'if everyone did it' argument doesn't hold because they don't, so as things stand it constitutes sustainable production. That it might not stay sustainable at some hypothetical future point doesn't make it unethical to use it now.
As for other people, they don't need to know what you eat in your home. If someone tells me they are a vegan I will not give them dairy eggs or meat, I'm not going to ask them to itemise their fridge contents or previous six months' food intake before I cook them a vegan meal!

This thread is EXACTLY why people get pissed off with preachy veganism

Nope, its exactly why they get pissed off with preachy vegans. "Oh I do my best for the planet, I sacrifice daily, I'm a vegan, please take my needs seriously and cater for me! But I reserve the right to eat a fat bloody steak when I feel like it, when its convenient for me!"

PurpleDaisies try reading some blogs from other vegans. Google ‘can I still call myself a vegan’ or ‘vegan ate meat’ or whatever. Your militant view about a lapse doesn’t seem to represent the views of all of the vegan community. Most seem to accept a rare lapse. Doesn’t mean you’re wrong of course but I don’t see why the OP could not revert to calling herself vegan in the future and there certainly seem to be plenty of vegans who’d agree.

I think you need to be brutally honest with yourself about your seemingly desperate need to be seen to be ‘vegan’ or virtuous about your food choices

Yep, this ^^ IME most other folk really aren't that bothered about what we eat unless it affects themselves ... which may even include being asked for constant reassurance about someone else's preferences

So again, why all the requests for validation?

An interesting point of view

Something else for you

Your militant view about a lapse doesn’t seem to represent the views of all of the vegan community. Most seem to accept a rare lapse.

It isn’t a “lapse”. She deliberately chose to eat meat and thinks that’s still consistent with being vegan.