Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Email from school that I probably wasn't supposed to see - f**king livid!

671 replies

FidgetyFingers · 15/08/2018 20:18

I requested a copy of DS2's (secondary) school record when he left there a few months ago. He has quite severe SN, NHS paediatrician diagnosed with his assessments taking place at this school.

Enclosed in the paperwork was an email from his form tutor, his form tutor for 4 years, to the inclusion manager, stating that I had been on the phone to her as I was very unhappy about detentions 'again' for minor transgressions in the scheme of things and 'that I expected special treatment for my son due to his 'SN'.

DS has severe learning difficulties with several other co morbid difficulties and never should have been in mainstream school anyway but there was no choice as I couldn't get him an EHCP.

I am so fucking angry as this proves they never took his SN seriously at all which they proved in the way they treated him!

I also found a copy of an email from said inclusion manager to all his teachers outlining DS's behaviour plan and stating that if he failed to get enough points, he would be excluded.

Same woman sat across from me in a meeting with the Board of Governors insisting that I must have been mistaken when I said that she'd told me this on the phone.

I am absolutely disgusted that such people exist and are in authority of vulnerable children Angry.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 07:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Arthuritis · 17/08/2018 07:55

@Allington

With regards to your comments about fundraising - did you mean you have offered to fundraise in order to provide SEN resources?

If so, I have been told that you cannot fund raise in order to pay for a member of staff. Ie you can't fund raise to pay for an extra TA.

You could fund raise to buy equipment though.

I also can't see why you can't fund raise independently and then donate the money to the school of your choice?

Apologies if you weren't linking fund raising with SEN provision.

serbska · 17/08/2018 07:58

@Allington were you going to do everything, or just provide guidance via your services and expect the school to find time/people to work with you on the fundraising?

If you were going to do everything then fair do, but I suspect you would have wanted to work with the school and, in case you haven’t noticed, teachers are at fucking breaking point already.

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:05

Well, you can't run a fundraising campaign independently. You are persuading people with a connection to the cause (school) to donate directly and generally over a period of time. It's not running a marathon and getting sponsorship.

Of the (state) schools I know of that have run successful campaigns, some have done it to maintain staffing levels. I'm not sure whether that has been by using the money raised in order to free up money elsewhere for staff - that side of it wasn't my remit. Others have done it to make capital improvements e.g. sports or music facilities. Again, I don't know whether that has freed up the school's capital budget for other things. It was a few years ago and I know some LA funding was ringfenced and other bits not - but not the details.

@pengggwn you obviously haven't got anything to say on the subject at hand so have to resort to attacking the person disagreeing with you rather than admit you're being unreasonable.

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:07

Not using teacher time.

A certain amount of the headteacher's time, but in general you are recruiting parents to give and then ask others to join them in giving. Successful FR campaigns are largely peer to peer asking.

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:08

Allington

I am not being unreasonable. I have clearly explained my reasons for not doing things that are outside my remit. Insisting that I should, and that those things are part of my job when they are not, is unreasonable.

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:10

Well, you can't run a fundraising campaign independently. You are persuading people with a connection to the cause (school) to donate directly and generally over a period of time.

So what did you want the money to be used for? I assume you weren't going to invest your time and expertise, but leave the Head to make the decisions about how the money was allocated?

What would you have been asking for money for?

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:14

Although if a particular department is the focus of the campaign then the teachers would need to be slightly involved - willing to meet someone who has the potential to make a significant gift.

The ones I have direct experience of have been happy to do that - they are excited about getting the new facilities and the difference it will make to their work, so have been happy to find half an hour to talk with someone willing to stump up tens of thousands of pounds out of their own pocket to make it happen. Or take it in turns to speak at a meeting. In the one for the sports facilities the HoD usually took part, but all of the five teachers contributed at times. Probably about 20 meetings between them over a period of 5 months. For over a million pounds of new facilities. They seemed to think it was worth it.

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:14

No, no strings attached to what the money could be used for.

TheDogAteMyPants · 17/08/2018 08:14

I thought funding for 1-1 support etc was now separated out from the EHCP process? My youngest has an EHCP but for the three years before it was granted had Higher Needs Funding that his school applied for separately. School had to show they had done x,y and z to support, but that it wasn’t effective enough and that they had spent £x000 in doing so. HNF then makes up the difference for the support and interventions required.after three years’ evidence of HNF and related IEP, we applied for an EHCP and it was granted without appeal because we had, among other things, all the HNF evidence. Mainstream is the best place for my son as he’s very bright, and our local special schools don’t cater for very bright children with SEN.

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:17

The school, would need to decide WHAT they were asking for money for - it's not very motivating to be asked to give into a general pot. But unless it is for new facilities, the school generally puts together a package of things that are not ringfenced so money can be shifted elsewhere to the less glamorous parts of the budgets.

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:18

Allington

So why do YOU think they said no? You make it sound so great. You don't seem to be open to the idea that, for whatever reason, there must have been a glitch in your plan, because they said no.

Arthuritis · 17/08/2018 08:19

Does the school in question have a PTA? In which case just join that and then run your fund raising under the PTA umbrella.

I have been chair of PTAs in the past and whilst we were running the usual events we did occasionally have a parent who could offer to do something else. Great. They took on the responsibility of doing it, in the name of the PTA.

You can't fund raise to pay for staff because if the funding runs out the staff member's wages still has to be paid from somewhere. Also, there are on costs to be factored in and also employer's liabilities.

In no way an employment lawyer but I am guessing that to overcome this the fund raiser would need to employ the member of staff directly and then second them to the school?? Not sure that is possible or if a school would want to enter into an agreement like this with all of the associated complications eg who is responsible for staff member, performance management, disciplinaries, absence cover, training etc.

I can understand why the school is reluctant.

Have you tried sending in a detailed proposal eg like a business plan explaining what you will do, how you will do it, what input you need from school etc? Maybe they are put off because it seems so over whelming?

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:22

willing to meet someone who has the potential to make a significant gift.

And I'm sorry, but do you not see that teachers are not responsible for fundraising, and that this is something you can ASK them to do, but the Head can't direct them to do?

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:29

It has been, and is, done by state schools. And teachers in the state sector have been, and are, willing to get involved, because they want the new facilities. The alternative, of course, is to continue to moan about poor facilities and say how unfair it is...

The parent who chaired the campaign was upfront about it - yes, the parents shouldn't have to pay. But the reality is, either the parents chipped in and their child/ren benefited, or they didn't and things just carried on as normal.

Not every parent did want to pay, which was fine. Major campaigns are based on the idea that a minority will actually fork out.

This school didn't want to discuss whether it would be possible.

As I said, no skin off my nose and a great deal less work for me.

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:30

Allington

So again, they didn't give you any reason at all about why it wouldn't be possible?

Do you have a reputation, by any chance?

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:35

@pengggwn

Grin you seem determined to assume that I have a 'reputation', that the school don't want my involvement because of my personality defects.

No, no 'reputation' - well, as I have plenty of work I do have a good reputation and good references. But not the 'reputation' you keep suggesting. Because you have nothing else to say...?

No reason why they weren't interested. No reason why DD couldn't spend some time with the next teacher. Seeing a pattern here?

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:37

@pengggwn can you possibly believe that there may, occasionally, be a situation where a school/teacher is being unreasonable, and a parent is being reasonable?

Not me, necessarily, a hypothetical situation?

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:42

Allington

Of course I believe a school Head CAN be unreasonable. But, as I have seen you be unreasonable right here, you can easily imagine that I believe you to be unreasonable, which would explain, to me, quite clearly, why the Head of your child's school has stopped engaging with you.

Allington · 17/08/2018 08:45

Where have I been unreasonable?

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 08:47

Allington

Obviously I can't expect you to see it - unreasonable people tend not to - but haven't I already told you? I am not going to do so again. I don't see the point in talking to someone like you, if I am honest.

Allington · 17/08/2018 09:18

In other words, 'being unreasonable' means disagreeing with you...

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 09:58

Allington

Disagreeing with me about my role, in the job I do daily, when I have given perfectly valid reasons for my argument - yes.

Allington · 17/08/2018 10:02

Because other people who do the same role as you and do the same job daily disagree with you.

One of them was on this thread, others are friends and family. They have a very different attitude to you about what is and isn't possible for teachers.

Pengggwn · 17/08/2018 10:05

Allington

And by some utterly inexplicable logic, you have chosen to believe all teachers are the same? Even when there is clear evidence in front of your eyes that we're not? You have chosen to listen only to the people whose view coincides with yours, and ignore everyone else who has said no, in their context, this wouldn't work because X?

Hmm