To feel shit about what happened in bed

[Leo86]

So my and my DP were having sex one evening. I can't remember clearly of what happened. It happened so fast and I don't know if I am just making a big deal out of it.
My DP was trying to pleasure me orally. I don't always like when he does this but I was up for it. So he was being busy 'downstairs ' and I sort of started moving with the rhythm. It was good but at some point I told him to be careful with his beard then he told me off quite badly (well I feel like that but maybe I am wrong) and sort of made fun of how I was moving and that I was rubbing my lady bits all over his face. This made me feel awful. I was just lying there, naked, felt so vulnerable and I had to try hard to not to cry. We finished sex after this and I tried to stay as still as possible. This is not the first time he told me off in bed and honestly he probably fed up with me not letting him 'lead' in bed but on the other hand I felt like I didn't deserve that. I still think about it and it doesn't feel good but on the other hand I am sure he would have his valid points about the situation or how controlling I can be. I don't know...what do you think ?

So what, you are supposed to lie perfectly still while he basically rubs your sensitive bits with the equivalent of a nailbrush? Fuck that.

I speak as someone who went on beard strike with DH. I tried to put up with it but ultimately I couldn't. I told him not even a kiss unless the beard goes. It went immediately.

Yes agree that a beard can get vvsore over time and.. no; def don’t just lie there with a “nail brush” rubbing away! 😬

But surely if u want “really good sex” and if you’re with a man you love and fancy then just take responsibility for getting some of what you want &just tactfully manoeuvre yourself/him into a more comfortable position before it is tedious.

Sexily suggest or (dominatrix style) tell/ask him to adapt his technique- show and tell him exactly what you want - show appreciation when he is trying & moving in right direction even if he’s not quite there yet (only if you actually want him!) - to egg him on - reward is better than punishment (kinks aside obv) when it comes to sex.

Taking control with this doesn’t mean either being a wet blanket or the other extreme. He can’t exactly whip out the beard trimmer mid-deed can he?? Ill-advised at best! Men and women are different but everyone has an ego. If you guys truly love each other then just enjoy & adapt in the moment... be nice to each other!

If an ongoing problem then when it’s appropriate bring it up if you want to. If he won’t shave it (if that’s what u even want) then there are many many other ways he can pleasure you - toys are the obvious choice . If the spark is there for you then you guys will make find a way to make it work. x