No Birthday present from DW

[penk29]

So it was my birthday on July 29th. We have two DDs I got a card from them and the wife. My side of the family came round did normal birthday greetings and gave me cards and presents. Still nothing from the wife.

So the day ends and no present from wife or kids in sight. So just leave it although was a little miffed. So fast forward to today August 14th and wife comes in a drops a Poundland back in my lap and says happy birthday. I was a little shocked as like it was nearly two weeks ago. So I said thanks and opened the back. She walked out the Room didn't even stay to see me look what they was. So in the bag was a box of cereal bars a bag of crisps and some shortbread.

AIBU to feel a little pissed off?

Very odd! I'm intrigued too, remember to update us all OP

I would ask her yourself, involving your sister may well make things worse depending on what’s going on. Please do tell us though, I’m intrigued.

It's utterly unfair. But why is your sister asking, rather than you speaking with your wife?

I would just ask her OP. Her 'gift' to you is quite passive aggressive.

If she won't say why, just tell her that if she wants to do low key birthdays from now with no presents then she needs to be clear. It's hurtful so tell her you were hurt.

LTW

I'd be seriously pissed off if my bil came fishing about something instead of dh talking openly & honestly.

You need to just ask her

So finally can disclose the reason behind the Poundland bag.

"Its not a present, it's just some bits she got me during normal shopping"

So back to square one of no present at all. Don't know what's worse now!

Are you sure she likes Pandora?

It's a bit marmite and it'a also a 'lazy' gift in that, once someone has the bracelet, it's a green light to buy yet another charm for every special occasion going and before you know it, she has a charm bracelet with loads of charms on that cost hundreds if not thousands of pounds with no end in sight of the thing growing exponentially. their marketing department really knew what they were doing.

You haven't had a conversation about not doing gifts for the sake of it that you've forgotten about have you? I really don't see the point of anything but token gifts between adults. Just buy what you want, when you want it and exchange wine/chocolates/flowers etc on special occasions and all this angst about gifts that are wrong, too expensive, too cheap, not thoughtful enough goes away.

Did you say ‘why did you get me things you know I can’t eat?’

*So finally can disclose the reason behind the Poundland bag.

"Its not a present, it's just some bits she got me during normal shopping"

So back to square one of no present at all. Don't know what's worse now!*

So why did she say Happy Birthday when she dropped the bag in your lap, if she didn’t mean you to think it was a birthday present?

"Its not a present, it's just some bits she got me during normal shopping"

Why did she say “happy birthday” though?

Why can't you just ask?

At this point, I'd just ask her what you're supposed to have done wrong.

I HAVE to know why
Was it a Poundland bag for life or a plazzy one? The devil is in the detail.

Turns out I haven't done anything wrong. She's happy with the Pandora I got her for her bday.

It's just that she hasn't a clue of what to get me and has been waiting for me to drop a hint. (Did email her a Amazon wish list mid July but hey ho)

The whole happy birthday was a joke with Poundland bag.

For some people who wanted details.

It was a plastic bag and not the bag for life so if it had been my actual present than she really cheaped out lol.

Needless to say we have words about communicating better.

Thanks for everyone's comments diaster averted

Really not sure why you’re asking MN instead of the wife

Glad to hear it.

Bizarre.

Really not sure why you’re asking MN instead of the wife

Well, that would probably go for the majority of threads on Mumsnet

Mmm ok. Sounds to me like she has emotionally checked out of this relationship.
When you’re still waiting for a hint two weeks after the date it’s because you don’t give enough fucks to figure something out on time.
I hope I’m wrong but I think you have more talking to do.

You're both adults why could she not have just asked you 2/3 weeks before your birthday what you would like, or to give her a few ideas.

It sounds like she has put the blame on you for her not knowing what to get you. So that's your fault?

Why couldn’t she just ask you what you wanted for your birthday?

Why do people on mn only ever drop hints and don’t talk to each other?

I didn't get anything from my DC for my birthday. ExH didn't even help them get a card / tell them it was mummy's birthday. For father's day / his birthday he asked for / I made sure DC got him something nice.