To ask for help out of my mortifying situation (lighthearted)

[AccioVodka]

I am stuck in the office alone with my boss. I just did a teeeeny fart that is now threatening to choke me to death. Im waiting for it to hit my boss. I will die of shame.

Tempted to blame dodgy drains or a dead animal hiding somewhere

What do i do?!

Blame them 😂

Hand in your notice, it’s the only option!

Go on an errand somewhere for 30 minutes, and when you return never mention it. He'll know it was you, you'll know he knows but the good old British reserve will mean it's never alluded to again......

Quickly shout oh you dirty bastard, wafting your nose.

You have to do something more embarrassing straight away.

No, no, be shameless and confident in thy pharts!

"My god the sewers around here! Unbelievable!"

Look them direct in the eye and smile

Think pumpkin has the right idea

Ignore it. I have been known to loudly let rip in front of my boss. You'll get over it

Casually light a match?

Oh dear!

Reminded me of a time I was sharing an office with a lady quite a few years older than me and quite prim.

A really noxious fart smell hit me which could only have come from her. I managed to keep my composure (both of us just kept our heads down and carried on) but it was a close run thing!

I turned the fan on and then it started turning so turned it off in a panic... whats worse is i think i may have wind Must. Hold. On. CLENCH!!

Quick, a candle! My kingdom job for a candle!

I farted in front of my MIL once when I was pregnant. She definitely smelled it but neither of us said a word. Lovely MIL.

Set fire to the office. Only way to distract from it really.

Say - is that you or outside?

Pretend you have found a mouldy sandwich in your desk drawer, and escape to the nearest hallway.

Blame the smell on the lunch in your bag! “Think my food smells off, I might have to put that in the bin...”

Say loudly to him 'DAFUK DID U EAT LAST NIGHT ERGH'

I once did a dreadful fart in an osteopathy session (I was receiving, not giving, the treatment, to be clear). It was acrid. She was the soul of professionalism as always and didn't say a thing, but there's no way she didn't smell it. It sort of enveloped us both.

UpstartCrow
that's nothing short of brilliant

Go to the ladies

I farted semi loudly while climbing on the coach at the chiropracters,,,,and it stank,,,We both ignored it,

couch