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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the hospital could do a bit more?

184 replies

EyeSpyaBlueFoot · 14/08/2018 15:22

Had to bring DS1 and DS5 with me to AE because I dropped a kitchen appliance on my foot from a great height last night. It turned all sorts of colours and looked like a cartoon foot this morning.

We waited 2.5 hours and I had to change DS1s nappy. Told the receptionist in case my name was called. Came back out and checked with her it hadn't been called. After another hour I ask how much longer they think it might be to be told I'd missed my name being called and I'll have to start again in the queue. Not a word of apology from the receptionist. Two hours later we are called in to have my foot X-ray. I now have very grumpy fed up small kids. X-ray tech is using as few words as possible and simply points and says they have to stay behind the wall. I completely agree but how? I try bribing the little one with snacks but he's 1 and keeps coming to me. X-ray tech getting irritated. DS5 trying his best to pin DS1 but it's just not happening and DS5 has autism so this is no small asknof him. Eventually the tech, without giving me the choice, takes the X-rays with both kids stood behind the bed (I couldn't see them and thought DS5 had manage to pin DS1). AIBU unreasonable to think we could have expected a tiny bit more help or is that standard?

Before anyone asks DH is on a business trip in another country and no one else could come with me.

OP posts:
Original poster
EyeSpyaBlueFoot · 14/08/2018 16:59

@TrappedByATurtle Yes he took the X-rays without either child behind the screen. I thought he would have given me the choice to opt out rather than expose both kids.

The foot is a mess and fractured in multiple places. I'm suppose to be seen again tomorrow but me and my mangled foot will be staying put until DH can get back next week unless I can find a sitter. DS has autism so I can't fling him at just anyone. Given how badly wrong we've gotten it wrong so far I don't really dare either.

OP posts:
YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:01

I don’t think you got it wrong OP, just maybe (and kind of understandably when you’re in a lot of pain) expected a bit much from a service under loads of pressure.

I also understand that as your son has autism (I’m autistic and have 3 autistic kids) that it’s not as simple as getting anyone to watch him.

Do you have painkillers? How long will your husband be?

Clairetree1 · 14/08/2018 17:02

Yes he took the X-rays without either child behind the screen

you should make a complaint about this, both your children have been exposed to x rays for no reason. he should have sent you home to come back better organised another day for the x ray

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:03

Yes he took the X-rays without either child behind the screen

I do think this is enough for a formal complaint though.

MrsEvedder · 14/08/2018 17:07

You poor thing, you must be in so much pain and some of the answers on here telling you what they think you should have done will only be making you feel worse.
I work in a hospital and I don't think this should have happened to you today, the receptionist should have had a word to try to sort the situation out in a&e and just showing your sons a few seconds of kindness and patience would have solved the X-ray problem.
Just because the nhs are stretched doesn't mean that compassion and kindness can be forgotten about.
Hope you are soon feeling better 💐

Mammyloveswine · 14/08/2018 17:07

How did you get both kids out to the taxi to get to hospital? How far have you moved from where you used to live? Is there someone who can come stay with you?

Floralnomad · 14/08/2018 17:09

OP if you have a fracture clinic appt for tomorrow then you need to go to that appt , do you seriously not have any family or friends that could take one or both of your children for a few hours ? I’d also complain about the x Ray / children issue .

Slartybartfast · 14/08/2018 17:11

how did you get there?

Clairetree1 · 14/08/2018 17:11

OP if you have a fracture clinic appt for tomorrow then you need to go to that appt , do you seriously not have any family or friends that could take one or both of your children for a few hours ?

just take a push chair

Slartybartfast · 14/08/2018 17:13

sorry, but you need to get it seen to op. please ask your neighbours or someone

Slartybartfast · 14/08/2018 17:14

did they put a boot on it op?

Booboostwo · 14/08/2018 17:16

The receptionist was very unkind. However busy she must have been it would have taken all of 3 seconds to tell you your name had been called or even better to tell the clinician calling you that you were in the toilets. Given the huge waiting times people will need to go to the toilet.

The radiologist sounds awful as well. Had he distracted DS1 I imagine he would have finished a lot faster than having to repeatedly try to get him behind the screen. As for taking the X-ray anyway with the kids there I think you should put a formal complaint in.

Despite all that please try and get to hospital tomorrow. If you leave your foot for a week you might have all sorts of long term problems and may need more invasive treatments, even an operation, to sort it out. This is the time to call in favours. Any family or friend who could drive over and help? Call local nurseries and ask if any staff babysit and might be available. Try sitters and similar sites, they can usually find someone even last minute.

Wiggler1 · 14/08/2018 17:16

We’ve gone so fucking wrong as a society when we can’t help a mother in pain with two children, one with SN, and instead make excuses about budget cuts. Why has basic human decency gone so far out the window?

Primarystress · 14/08/2018 17:19

You did the best you could today, think some posters have been quite harsh and hope you don't dwell on it. Complaint needed for XRay thing. Do go back tomorrow if it needs seeing to, even if you have to take kids. Unfortunately you risk a repeat of today but that's just how it is - please don't risk your foot.

SnuggyBuggy · 14/08/2018 17:20

I don't get the leave them with a neighbor. In the real world most people work. No employer is going to give you time off to look after some random persons child

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:21

SnuggyBuggy also her son’s SN need to be taken into account so leaving him with a stranger really isn’t possible.

ThatFridayFeeling · 14/08/2018 17:21

If you're not going to go to the fracture clinic appointment please phone them and cancel it. Do not just not bother to attend - someone else could have that appointment. Agree with pp, I've worked in a&e and it's not that we don't want to do more, we physically can't.

ShadowCatt · 14/08/2018 17:29

@Wiggler1 i assume overworked,overtired and overstretched doctors and nurses that get scapegoated or dragged over hot coals for taking their eye off the ball for one minute might be a reason why.

I'm not saying it's ok or that it's expected,just that it can be understandable. And without knowing the financial/staffing/management situation at the hospital I wouldn't be too quick to judge the staff or accuse them of lacking decency.

Kpo58 · 14/08/2018 17:29

Try phoning the hospital and explain your situation. They may have a member of staff or volunteer who can help you during the appointment.

Gildashairflick · 14/08/2018 17:31

I'm going to disagree with the majority - I think you could have hoped for a bit more help. Missing being called should not mean you go back to the end of the queue at all (I've worked in A&E). That was unnecessary. Not having a pushchair isn't ideal with a one year old but I understand how it didn't occur to you. Radiography staff could have asked a colleague to assist as it would have took no more than a minute or two and wasted more time faffing on than any assistance would have taken. There is meant to be compassion in healthcare. It's not a production line. I've worked in the nhs for nearly 3 decades in a clinical capacity and I've never given up caring about people in their time of need. Yes the nhs is stretched but if start accepting lack of kindness, care and compassion as standard now the whole thing is doomed. And getting trustworthy childcare at short notice in a new area without pre existing networks or family close by is nigh on impossible. I think you've copied marvellously under the circumstances and I wish you a speedy recovery

SnuggyBuggy · 14/08/2018 17:34

Even without SN no one is going to want to leave their kids with some random person because they just happen to live on the same street.

YeTalkShiteHen · 14/08/2018 17:35

SnuggyBuggy I know, I was just pointing out that even if posters would do that for their own NT children, OPs son’s dx needs to be taken into account.

Stevienickssleeves · 14/08/2018 17:36

The lack of empathy on here is staggering.

Rest at home for multiple fractures?

Should have slid the pushchair down the stairs?

Everyone has suitable Childcare on hand or would be happy to leave tiny children with s random babysitter?

Sure.

aaarrrggghhhh · 14/08/2018 17:37

Of course you should have received better support. The fact that the NHS is falling apart doesn't mean that you shouldn't have received better support. It is the REASON why you didn't. But not the aspiration.

The NHS isn't falling apart because of a natural disaster. It's falling apart because of the political and broader social context it operates in. And also I think because it is a flawed model.

I think its ludicrous that the response is that the expectations of standards of care should be lowered.

ShadowCatt · 14/08/2018 17:39

@EyeSpyaBlueFoot you haven't got it wrong at all. You coped the best you could in immense pain and under pressure. Understandably you were feeling sorry for yourself when you posted and ofc some help from staff would've made a massive difference. Wether they were actually able to give it..eho knows?

Please don't let your foot like this even if you need to do a repeat of today. It is what it is and it sucks,but your foot is more important.

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