Making coffee in work- non drinker

[Winchester89]

Right, started a new job couple of months ago. I love it, everyone's really nice. I'm the admin assistant for a small team of 4 other people.
Anyway- I don't drink tea or coffee. Therefore have never offered to make anyone any as I really hate doing it and don't think I should if I'm not also drinking it! Couple of the team made some subtle comments that I've just ignored or laughed off.
So today- my manager is on her way out to a meeting with other team member - mug in hand goes- oh we were just saying we should get you making coffees!
I replied automatically 'not happening' and laughed. And she looked taken aback by it and then carried on to the meeting.
Am I being unreasonable in not wanting to become the tea lady for the team considering I don't even make the stuff for myself!?

I have invited Brian Cox to this thread (he's not responded yet).

This is a scientific phenomenon - there are so many people in here that regularly put the kettle on, and yet, by some strange quirk of the universe, I have cup of coffee in my hand?

It seems 'coffee makers' only exist in theory. The minute you try to observe then in real life they vanish!

*no cup of coffee in my hand

I think it's odd to have someone in a team making tea and coffee that they don't drink. We have a coffee machine and take turns to pay. The people who stand with us and don't drink coffee obviously don't take part in the round. It's the exact same.

@pluckedpencil a drinks machine where everyone helps themselves sounds fab.

But the point is the OP came across as obnoxious and rude and arrogant, and not a team player. Very poor behaviour. Can't see her colleagues warming to her after this.

If you are the PA/Admin Assistant it's expected. If you are a team member (analyst, manager, associate etc) wherever I've contracted , in approx 80%, you are expected to take a turn at doing a 'round' of tea/coffee once a day. What's the 'norm' there? I'd follow that or expect to be seen as not making an effort fitting in.

Sorry but your response was quite unguarded and foolish. When your manager asks you to do something then you do it. Whether it is a high profile pitch or just pitching in.

It's irrelevant whether you drink tea or coffee. You're an admin assistant - you are there to provide support. And of course that shouldn't mean you are a skivvy, but once in a while for your team doesn't hurt. And for meetings then you should be bending over backwards to look helpful and team orientated. I am an Executive Assistant for a CEO - I got there by not being precious and willing.

Well said csiblonde and whatwouldkeithrichardsdo ^

I personally would always want to be part of something like this, actually I have learnt to drink espresso at work in order to fit into the (Italian) team culture, because it is really a big part of bonding where I am, same as staying for the canteen. But it would get my back up of my boss started to insinuate it was something s/he and the team expected of me as part of my role, because let's be honest, that would never ever be asked for a male admin (what is a male admin?! Never seen one).

@CSIblonde
There is no 'norm' it's a completely new team so everyone has been there the same amount of time (minus the manager)

I am honestly not worried about not fitting in by not making others hot drinks. They are not those type of people.

@Pluckedpencil
Yeah I get that- but they're not leaving the room to do so and drink said coffees so I'm not missing anything.

Unless I was employed specifically to make tea, there is no way on this planet I would take orders from others to do so.

You'd refuse to do as you were asked in an admin assistant role?

Have you tried doing this in such a role?

I'm weirded out that people say they'd take an entry-level office job then refuse to do menial stuff, because this isn't a way to get respect or bravely fight the system or something, it's just a way to get let go with barely a second thought because you're one of the most replaceable persons there. That's not a disrespectful comment, I am sure others, like me, have done our time in an entry-level job at some point.

Not sure if sign of the times or one of those "only on MN" things.

Yes @whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 - that is exactly the behaviour that gets you to be an assistant to a CEO. But not to be the CEO. Take heed young graduate women!!

@whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2
If you'd read it you would see that I agreed regarding my response and apologised.
I am not a PA- I'm not sure what is administrative about making tea or coffee?
Yes I arrange refreshments for meetings. And this particular exchange wasn't a request. It was a snide remark.

I don't drink tea or coffee so have never taken part in rounds or kitties. I usually have a large bottle of water that sees me through the day so there is no taking turns or anything reciprical. Occasionally I might have a fruit tea, provided myself, and I have offered them if it was a natural flow of conversation. I have my own mug and wash it up and store it myself so my habits of drinking to my thirst have little consequence to colleagues.

I did do tea and coffee when I was on work experience 20+ years ago, very well according to the paperwork. If it's clearly part of the role to provide hospitality for meetings/ clients, fair enough. A lot of tea and coffee drinking is superfluous time wasting or habit anyway and it's not reasonable to exploit someone for rounds of drinks that they don't partake in for mutual benefit. It's also a ball ache to remember everyone's faddy little variations!

Yeah, ok I think some of us are being a little disingenuous here I bring biscuits for everyone

Katielouise

pluckedpencil a drinks machine where everyone helps themselves sounds fab.

Yes it does sound fab, doesn't it? Rather like a kitchen where everyone can help themselves to tea and coffee making facilities...oh, hang on...

YANBU at all OP. This kind of 'team' mentality grates on me! It only benefits those who use the actual 'service' (or whatever!) Where I work they have a 'kitchen cleaning rota' displayed on the wall with everyone's name on it on a WEEKLY basis...and god forbid you miss a day within your week! The kitchen is always left in an absolute mess...dirty piles of plates and mugs etc all over. I don't EVER use the kitchen!!! I take a packed lunch and bottled water and eat in my classroom...I don't have bloody time to eat! I've pointed this out to The Rota Queen (as have others, it's not just me!) but we've been overruled on this! It's infuriating! Why can't people wash their own bloody dishes for God's sake! It really boils my piss!

I once worked in this office where only the women were expected to bring in biscuits and treats 'for the team' on Fridays, and was told they needed to be homebaked as well. I actually laughed, thinking it was a joke (I wasn't admin staff at all but apparently it applied to all females). Got back to my desk and started looking for a new job. Never did bring in a tray of homebaked goodies as ordered. That was a laugh. Also had one where the head tried to rota all the female staff for an hour+/day to cover mat leave for the receptionist as 'men don't sound as good on the phone'. That didn't happen either. God loves a trier, I guess.

ImAldoor

I'm weirded out that people say they'd take an entry-level office job then refuse to do menial stuff, because this isn't a way to get respect or bravely fight the system or something, it's just a way to get let go with barely a second thought because you're one of the most replaceable persons there. That's not a disrespectful comment, I am sure others, like me, have done our time in an entry-level job at some point.

I have done entry-level jobs. No one has said they refuse to do menial jobs. They've said they avoid doing menial jobs not related to the job they were hired for and that are often still seen as the preserve of female employees. As I've said, I had no problem making tea for my boss in my role as PA. on my next temp job as an admin and as the most junior member of the team, I would not have been happy with given tea making duties. Dealing with post, answering phones, sling paperwork, all fine. Tea making- no way.

I've pointed this out to The Rota Queen (as have others, it's not just me!) but we've been overruled on this! It's infuriating! Why can't people wash their own bloody dishes for God's sake! It really boils my piss!

Then none of you do it. I've been in similar. Management threatened to close the kitchen. That was fine with me, I never used it. But it made others buck up and wash their own crockery, lazy twats.

@ChaffyMcChaff
Oh my word that is insane. How ridiculous!!!

LeftRight that's truly shocking.

Oh, yeah, Shumpa. 'Where are the goodies? It was your day?' 'Must have forgot, because I'm not a baker myself.'

In one place the management tried to sack the janitor and force all the admin staff and PAs to do janitorial work, cleaning the kitchen including mopping the floor and cleaning the office toilets, hoovering, etc. They refused, quite rightly. Another place where they made the doorman/security redundant and then wanted the admins to move into that role and do theirs, too, in the name of team playing and mucking in.

When the team playing and mucking in only applies to one group, it's a crock of shit. Get another job, you don't want to work with cunts, anyway.