To ask friend to remove photos of my DC fe her FB feed?

[TodoDoingDone]

We have no recognisable photos of our DC on social media. My visiting friend has just posted some where they are recongisable and I'm tagged. DC aren't tagged, no names mentioned . She didn't ask our opinion/permission...

Aibu to ask her to remove those where DC can be recognized?

I also don’t put photos of my children on Facebook. I don’t even have a ‘good reason’. I just think we don’t know how social media will develop and there is no compelling reason to share photos of them. It’s a simple cost:benefit thing. Family and friends can and are sent photos directly through more private means.

To some PP who think OP is being uptight.

Not all of us on mumsnet love social media. Nor do we want pictures of our children on social media. So what? Why the comments?

This is perfectly reasonable. In Italy it is illegal to post pictures of a child before they are old enough to give consent

Bear in mind that you don’t know her privacy settings. I am friends with over 300 people but about 250 of them are on restricted access only so only see the same as people I am not even friends with

But no yanbu.

Also, in this instance I would not remove the tag. If people like, share or comment and you are not tagged then you won’t know. If you are a restricted person on her profile as I said above, then the photo may not even be visible to you anymore.

What I would do is change your own privacy settings so that the photo of visable to “you only” on your page. Of course that doesn’t change who can see the post on her own page. That will be whatever her settings are.

@InDubiousBattle

I don't social media full stop. I was asking why the OP doesn't like other people doing it. This isn't about me as I didn't start the thread.

I have a friend who thinks that people could potentially masturbate over photos of her children, and that's why she doesn't post photos of her kids.

@summerFruitPudding

Do it. Do it now. Quickly before your children are sold! Has she not seen Taken?**

^Wow you are so funny (!)

@iampicklepick - how do you restrict access? I’m very aware that if friends comment on my post their friends often like their comments regardless of whether they are on my friends list or not. Been thinking of ways to stop this for a while - any ideas????

ask her to take it down

in fact I could be wrong but if she doesn't, then I think you can get Facebook to take them down?

When people don’t want pics of their kids on social media I always assume it’s either...

a. They are adopted and have problematic birth family.

b. The parent thinks the world wants to wank over pics of their kid.

Murphy - it sounds like you have your standard setting at “friends and their friends”.

On one of those posts, click on the little person icon next to it and you should get a bar come up on the bottom showing who has access.

To restrict future posts, you change the setting individually or you can change it in your main settings to always be a particular audience.

To make someone restricted, you go to their profile, click the friends icon, edit friends list, and add to restricted.

It’s illegal in Italy?

Would you mind if there was a pic of your kids in the local paper, e.g.. 'children enjoying local summer fete' - kind of thing. I've never really known what the difference is.

I don't post DD, her dad is a psycho and currently out of jail.

I'm not naice about it either, anyone close enough to take a photo of DD knows why I don't want her on Facebook etc.

I ask friends not to post and if they do they get removed as I tell them I don't allow their photos on social media. Everyone has been fine about it. My stbexh's family put public photos on bf deliberately to piss me off so I have to get Facebook to remove them. Some people have no respect for other people's privacy.

Thankyou

I can completely understand in certain circumstances, but if your children are 'pre-teens' (so what, 10-12?) you're going to need to prepare yourself for how you handle all their friends putting pictures of them on social media. (I'm mean that genuinely- not trying to be argumentative).

Lots of children have phones and facebook from age 9. They may well be banned in school but phones will be out parties and some school events like weekend sports meets and summer fairs.

Every wedding I've ever been to, the photographer uploads photos to social media. Media photographers often blog local events of crowds, people taking part in a parade, etc.

Again, I totally get that in a very very small minority of circumstances parents will need to do all they possibly can to keep photos off, but what will you genuinely do in the above situations?

Did your friend take the photos down??

When this came up I asked politely and explained why we don't do it. Luckily the photos don't appear to have cached anywhere easily searchable.

We haven't publicly posted any photos of our kids and I know a few other people who are the same. They also had no permission for public photos for primary school either. This is because we consider them too young to consent to their image being in the public domain at that age.

Our decision is that the choice is theirs once they hit high school and we've filled in high school permission forms with the kids choices that they made after discussion with them.

*When people don’t want pics of their kids on social media I always assume it’s either...

a. They are adopted and have problematic birth family.

b. The parent thinks the world wants to wank over pics of their kid.*

It's neither of those for me. It's the repercussions later in life for my kids. If you publicly post images on the internet they stay on the internet. They basically enter the public domain. This means that later in life those photos could be found and used to embarrass your kids, printed in a paper etc. They could also potentially be used for adverts etc by people who give no shits about copyright laws.

We send photos to family etc, just don't put them up for public display. Our thought is that we protect our kids privacy until such time as they are old enough to make their own choices about it.

Yanbu. I have the same rule. I don't want my children having an online presence they've had no say in.

I never upload images of peoples children without asking, but I don’t really get the big drama if its just a child in the background and no name. My children’s school post photos of children online just no names.

I never upload images of peoples children without asking, but I don’t really get the big drama if its just a child in the background and no name. My children’s school post photos of children online just no names.

If they're being searched for by family, then names may not be required. And I know for some photos, my DCs primary school made sure that those children without parental consent weren't included.

I never put pictures of other people on social media without their permission. Personally I think it's rude to and that includes adults.