To be irritated by wedding invite

[YogiBear13]

My cousin got engaged a few months ago and we recently received the wedding invites.

I'm 26 years old, and haven't lived at my parents since I left for uni when I was 18, I currently live with my long term partner, a fair distance from where my parents live. He hasn't been invited which doesn't really bother me, she's never met him and I get that money can put constraints on things and she won't want to pay for someone she doesn't know to attend.

The thing that irritates me slightly is that the invite wasn't sent to me, I was included, along with my sisters who also don't live with our parents, on my parents' invite. Is this a weird wedding etiquette I'm not aware of? I find it really odd to invite an adult, who lives elsewhere, through their parents. What would I need to do to qualify for my own invite? Get married myself? If I never get married will I still be included on my parents' invites when I'm 50? I can't quite put my finger on why it bothers me so much, but it feels a bit patronising, like I'm not an independent person.

To be clear, I'm obviously not going to say anything to the bride about it! And I'm perfectly happy to be told I'm being unreasonable, I'm 8 weeks pregnant and very tired and hormonal so quite possibly don't have a good gauge on whether I'm right to be irritated, or if I'm overthinking.

We may decide together but that's not the bride and groom's problem and you don't need a family invite to do so. If my adult child had other plans then they would be expected to send back their own decline RSVP. We might club together for a present depending on what was on the list.

That said my cutoff would probably have been 18 rather than 16, I didn't have any 16-17 year old guests in my case.

I don't think YABU to feel that way but I think what they have done is fine.

There is usually a circle of family where the bride and groom draw a line. Here they have invited their parents, their parents siblings, their parent's sibling's partners, their parent's sibling's children (cousins) but not their cousin's partners or children. They are inviting 'auntie Babs, uncle Malcolm and family', that's you, but not your partner or your children.

Anyway, you can go, or not go. Either is fine.

It seems logical to me to send an invitation to the family, as opposed to individuals. YABU

YANBU

You are living away from home with a partner and are pregnant..you have formed your own family unit and you should have received a separate invite.

oh fgs what a ridiculous thing to get annoyed about

We sent people in this situation separate invitations but to the parents address with a request to pass on I think, can’t quite remember but pretty sure we didn’t have their address - we’d already got the parents address via FIL so going a later further along with all the wedding hassle was frankly a step too far!

YABU. This is fairly normal with cousins etc I think isn't it?

Totally normal. YABU to get all uptight about it.

Huggy, what's so difficult about writing: Mum, Dad, Sister1 and Sister2 will be pleased to attend, but Sister3 has a prior commitment.

Not hard at all.

I wouldn't want to have to go through my mummy and daddy to RSVP to a wedding, I'm a grown woman.

Yanbu
I once got invited to a wedding on my parents invite but my sister got her own invite...