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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed at friend despite the massive favour?

62 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 13/08/2018 21:08

I recently bought a house which is my pride and joy.
It needed a bit of work and my friend who is very into gardening offered to do a few bits for me.
I gave him a key and he came round today and the garden looks great.
BUT the kitchen is a fucking tip, full of mud and grass, there were used teabags on the work surfaces and mugs not even out in the sink. Stuff has been moved about including my loft ladder?! And most annoyingly mud has been trod on to my fucking brand new week old carpet. Would I be unreasonable to message him saying thanks but... what the fuck!?

OP posts:
HumphreyCobblers · 13/08/2018 21:10

If he did it for free then you would be unreasonable to criticise.

But I would be miffed about the carpet.

flumpybear · 13/08/2018 21:14

It was inconsiderate but I'd keep a lid on it as he's done a huge favour for you

budgiegirl · 13/08/2018 21:14

I’d be a bit annoyed about the carpet, but not the rest. However, I’d just suck it up and definitely wouldn’t say anything other than thank you very much for the favour he’s done for you

Anxious2niteaaah · 13/08/2018 21:15

Why did he need to move your loft ladder?Confused

SisterNotCisTerf · 13/08/2018 21:15

If you bring it up that’s the last favour he’ll ever do for you. Just accept it as the cost of his services. You got a bargain really Grin

Bestseller · 13/08/2018 21:16

You're not unreasonable to be annoyed but you can't complain. What would you expect to happen if you did?

lastqueenofscotland · 13/08/2018 21:18

Ok I’ll keep my mouth shut! The ladder is weird because it was in my room where the hatch is and now it’s in the kitchen. But I’ll suck it up Grin

OP posts:
pasturesgreen · 13/08/2018 21:18

Same as a PP, I'd be annoyed about the carpet but not massively so about the rest. Presumably it was a one off and he won't be coming back anytime soon to do more in the garden, so I'd suck it up this time and make a mental note never to accept any offers of help from him.

That's presuming he did it as a favour and you didn't pay him. If you did, you'd be more justified in pulling him up on the mess.

Sweetsongbird1 · 13/08/2018 21:19

Oh I’d be screwing over the carpet.

You know you can’t say anything though !

Beautifulblue · 13/08/2018 21:19

I had this, very grateful to a friend who painted our kitchen & kitchen units for us. But left the place a total shit tip, paint stains in the sink (that still haven't come out) numerous cups/knives ruined after being used to mix/open paint. Paint on the floor tiles... possibly the messiest painter ever. But I didn't say anything, it did annoy me but he had spent 2 days here & the kitchen did look great. So no you're not being UR for being annoyed, but you would be UR to say anything. Let it go...

LegoPiecesEverywhere · 13/08/2018 21:23

He is not a hired help. Ywbu to message anything other than thank you. How many hours did he spend on your garden?

The mud is annoying but will come out.

MeMeMeow85 · 13/08/2018 21:29

I’d say thanks, as he did you a favour with the garden, but don’t repeat him having access again. Some people live in dreadful states and just don’t value nice things! You live and you learn

SisterNotCisTerf · 13/08/2018 21:34

Wee tip OP. While you’re having work done and getting moved in, cover the carpets in plastic sheeting. Otherwise you’ll be fretting over every foot that walks on it.

Teddy1970 · 13/08/2018 21:37

I would keep quiet, the messy kitchen I could deal with becuase that's the trade off for the work he did, the carpet would annoy me inside but I would never say anything, I'd just wait until it was dry and use a stiff brush..

IceCreamFace · 13/08/2018 21:38

The carpet is annoying (although no way should you bring it up) but the rest is no problem surely! He''s spent ages sorting out your garden, surely it'll only take you half an hour to clean the kitchen? I mean I wouldn't leave a mess like that personally but some people just don't think (maybe they have partners who tidy up after them every minute). He still did you a massive favour. (I hope you bought him a bottle of wine at the very least!).

ThisIsntMeHonestGuv · 13/08/2018 21:38

Oh I’d be screwing over the carpet

That has to mean something else where you are from...

I think you would be unreasonable to say anything now, but if he comes again, maybe be more organised and set some guidelines.

UpstartCrow · 13/08/2018 21:39

What was he doing in the loft?

lastqueenofscotland · 13/08/2018 21:40

Thanks guys I’ll keep my mouth shut.

As I said no idea what he was doing in the loft and that’s the bit I’m not comfortable with as the hatch is in my room Confused

OP posts:
Pinkvoid · 13/08/2018 21:42

Maybe he needed a gardening tool and wondered if you had one in your loft. That’s a stretch but otherwise it’s suggesting your good friend is a bit of a creep Grin.

I would be fucked off in all honesty and I always am when workmen come and make a massive mess too. I just find it rude, I wouldn’t dream of leaving someone else’s house in such a state.

HairyHiker · 13/08/2018 21:44

Just ask him why he had to go in the loft.

Jboure · 13/08/2018 21:44

Maybe he is still in your loft? Or put a camera there?

KarinVogel · 13/08/2018 21:47

Its a pain but keep your annoyances to yourself and brush the carpet once its dry .
I wouldnt be able to let the loft ladder go unremarked though . Just because there may be some concern with the house you need to know about.

BestestBrownies · 13/08/2018 21:50

maybe he needed a ladder for something outside in the garden and the only one available was the one for the loft?

UpstartCrow · 13/08/2018 21:52

I'd go up there and look.

tccat · 13/08/2018 21:54

Check the ceiling when you're lying in bed for an eyeball staring back at you 👁