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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at friend despite the massive favour?

62 replies

lastqueenofscotland · 13/08/2018 21:08

I recently bought a house which is my pride and joy.
It needed a bit of work and my friend who is very into gardening offered to do a few bits for me.
I gave him a key and he came round today and the garden looks great.
BUT the kitchen is a fucking tip, full of mud and grass, there were used teabags on the work surfaces and mugs not even out in the sink. Stuff has been moved about including my loft ladder?! And most annoyingly mud has been trod on to my fucking brand new week old carpet. Would I be unreasonable to message him saying thanks but... what the fuck!?

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 13/08/2018 21:55

NO way I'd keep my mouth shut.. he did you a favour.. it doesn't give him carte blanche to traipse shit all over your new property OP Hmm

ToftheB · 13/08/2018 21:56

I suspect he needed the ladder for reaching something in the garden, rather than poking around in your loft. Otherwise the ladder would still be in your room.
Hope your carpet cleans up op - it’s annoying, but it sounds like he’s done a good job with the garden.

Trialsmum · 13/08/2018 21:59

Everything else will clean up but I would politely ask him what he needed the ladder for for your own piece of mind.

Timefortea99 · 13/08/2018 22:00

Never give him access again. Thank him for the gardening, give him a bottle of wine, ask him why he moved the loft ladder (how did he know it was in your bedroom?), scrub the carpet and go and check that all is well in the loft.

UrghBullTee · 13/08/2018 22:07

I'm flabbergasted someone would leave someone else's home in this condition regardless of any favour carried out! How awful! WTF!

I was brought up to leave things as you find them.

CSIblonde · 13/08/2018 22:07

I'd suck it up but learn from it. If you delegate or someone does a favour for you, they never, ever do it the way you would. So I stick around or keep eye on them if it's gonna include things I value, like my home or job.

WeWantJustice · 13/08/2018 22:21

No you're not

If a friend asked me to do her a favour, I wouldn't assume that that meant she'd be delighted if I trod mud into her carpet and left her kitchen in a tip.

Would other people really do this to someone's house if they were doing them a favour?

MakeItRain · 13/08/2018 22:44

I'd go with never giving him access again, checking your loft for anything suspicious, saying thanks/give a bottle of wine.

I'd actually consider changing the locks as this man has shown no respect for you and your house and has had your key for a day, but then I'm quite cynical and suspicious.

BarbraDear · 13/08/2018 22:46

He might have needed a ladder to do something in the garden? Maybe he did the guttering? But I'd definitely be annoyed that he went into my room to look for one.

beingthere · 13/08/2018 22:47

Did he need the ladder in the garden?

Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 13/08/2018 22:47

The ladder is specifically for the loft it’s not very big and hooks on to the hatch... utterly redundant without the loft

OP posts:
Original poster
lastqueenofscotland · 13/08/2018 22:48

Meh I can’t work out why you’d look in someone’s bedroom for a ladder

OP posts:
gandalf456 · 13/08/2018 22:51

Lesson learned. Never do business or take favours from friends. A true professional wouldn't have left your house like this

StoneofDestiny · 13/08/2018 22:53

Thank him, ask him about the ladder, check the loft thoroughly and wait til mud dries before hoovering it out

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/08/2018 22:54

Oh I’d be screwing over the carpet

That has to mean something else where you are from...

That really made me laugh Grin

OP I would be pretty mad too, he sounds like a proper scruffy bugger. I would definitely be asking him about the loft use.

ohtheholidays · 13/08/2018 23:07

I'd have to ask him about the ladder!

Surely you'd know if there was something in your garden that he'd need the ladder for?

Ohyesiam · 13/08/2018 23:10

You could ask him why he got the ladder from your room.

Maelstrop · 13/08/2018 23:15

Wtf was he doing in your room and I don’t care if he did it for nothing.
Presumably you’re going to get it cleaned which will cost money, I’d definitely mention it to him, it’s just fucking lazy to not take off shoes when coming in from the garden.

BlueberryPud · 13/08/2018 23:20

In my experience, people who are keen and enthusiastic and productive gardeners almost always bring half of it back into the house with them.
Husband.

He may have planted some seedlings or tidied something or somesuch, and then needed to walk over that ground without disturbing his neat work. Thus needing to use the ladder to lay flat and use to walk over the ground without disturbing it. Or even use the rungs as measures for where he puts things.

Gardeners do some fucking weird shit.
Husband.

PopGoesTheWeaz · 13/08/2018 23:23

Do you have any other ladders? Maybe he needed some sort of stepstool, couldn't find one, and had a lightbulb moment of "Ohh, I'll grab the one for the loft!". He may have taken it down and then realised oh damn, it has these weird bracket things and is totally useless ...

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/08/2018 23:26

I’d be extremely Hmm at the fact that he was in my bedroom.
It’s not the first place you’d think of looking if you needed a ladder, not many people store them in their bedrooms...
Since when did gardening require you to go up ladders anyway? (unless he was pruning trees?)

SisterNotCisTerf · 13/08/2018 23:31

Suspect he needed a ladder for something, went looking until he found one and brought it down only to find out it was no use so set it in the kitchen. Am I right in thinking you haven’t moved in yet? So whilst he was in your bedroom, it’s not full of your stuff?

SisterNotCisTerf · 13/08/2018 23:32

It’s not the first place you’d think of looking if you needed a ladder, not many people store them in their bedrooms.

I doubt it was the first place he looked! Grin suspect maybe it was the last though Wink

SisterNotCisTerf · 13/08/2018 23:34

Oh sorry, you are living in the house. I don’t know why I thought you weren’t!

Beautifulblue · 13/08/2018 23:38

If it was anything weird I'm sure he'd hide the fact he was in your bedroom. Leaving a ladder in the middle of the kitchen is hardly discreet! He probably just needed it for something & thought it'll be there! High shrubbery... a tree. Jeeeese. Poor blokes done a good deed 😂