Only on MN ...

[cathf]

Not a TAAT as such, but inspired by a response on a thread running at the moment.
It got me thinking of the differences between MN and my RL friends and acquaintances, and things that are accepted wisdom on MN that no-one I know in real life cares about at all.
I will start off:

1. Little girls who wear pink clothing, and gendered clothing in general;
2. Scented sanitary towels;
3. Fruit Shoots
4. People cuddling/touching/talking to your child;

The amount of threads and angst over these topics is staggering, yet no-one I know would even think any of the above were worth discussing, never mind getting worked up about. Anymore?

Also, in real life I know NO ONE who does LCHF but dozens of people who have lost massive amounts of weight on Slimming World. But on Mumsnet, you get some poor souls saying “I’ve always been overweight but I want to eat healthier and I’d like to lose 5 stone. I mostly eat takeaways, Greggs pasties and Danish pastries. I’ve switched to skimmed milk and low fat cheese and would like to learn how to cook. I end up binging on the low calorie diets I’ve tried and don’t like restrictive diets but I’ve been trying to eat healthier things like jacket potato and salad or homemade spaghetti bolognese but could really do with some tips!”

Followed by a couple of people saying “Join Slimming World, hun, sounds like it would work for you” and then an entire ARMY of people saying the equivalent of Slimming World will never work, it is the spawn of Satan and you must never eat a potato and “SKIMMED MILK? My GOD! No! You must only ever drink CREAM and eat STEAK and BUTTER to be slim!” and if you eat pasta you will get diabetes and you must never eat more than 800 calories per day.

Meanwhile, in the real world, the poor woman leaves the thread totally confused and, if she follows some of the advice, at greater risk of bowel cancer and heart disease.

According to MN their dh would never ever call them a bitch and if he did they would split up the entire family over it.

My husband would never call me a bitch.

Mammy, he sounds like a fecking Disney Dad. Make sure you leave another copy of the photocopy of the petit filous label with a trusted friend just in case something should happen to you. I don’t want to alarm you. But it’s best to be prepared. Make sure you also have a plan for what should happen to the Lego going forward, he owes you half of everything.

The certain type of poster who can't comprehend that not everybody lives a middle class life. There's a really sad thread tonight from a woman who has £40 left a month after rent and bills. Some of the suggestions include "Buy a bike to get to work" (yes, £40 will buy a roadworthy bike and who needs to eat for a month anyway?) and multiple instances of "Let out a room to a friend" (because someone living in poverty would naturally be renting a two bedroom place while living alone).

@ShadyLady53

No hairdresser for us (until my aunt and her DH opened their own saloon). My mother cut our hair using her sewing scissors...

She was quite good at it (also cut my DF's hair) but I still remember the day she accidentally cut DB1's ear. And it wasn't just a little knick either. Which she promptly disinfected with surgical spirit...

MeyMary the sound of the squirty water bottle as my mother plaited my hair as tight as she could whilst cursing me

Yes!!
And then a little olive oil to make the ends shiny

😂😂😂 it was coconut oil here or Henara henna conditioner slapped on all over with a plastic bag tied over the top of my head and I was left like for two hours on a Saturday morning once a month. Good times 😜

@ShadyLady53

Absolutely. At least my DSIS's hair is just as fluffy but with more curls... I feel like our hair (don't get me wrong, we were quite proud of our thick braids and I love my hair nowadays) sort of united us;)

My hair however has been behaving very differently this summer. I'll blame the pregnancy

I like to observe the snitty posters come out in force when an OP has the temerity to be upset about perceived favouritism or unfairness:

"My parents are millionaires. They have given my brother a five bedroomed house and a Mercedes, they pay for his children to go to private school, fund three holidays a year and give him £10,000 a month allowance. I live in a bedsit, eat baked beans for every meal and my daughter has never seen the sea. AIBU to think this is unfair?"

"OP, you sound grabby and entitled. Your parents' money is theirs to do with what they wish. Why don't you get a better job and stop expecting other people to fund your lifestyle?"

New one! Having to pay to pee when pregnant in public places!

MargotLovedTom1
Yes.
I'm also always amazed at how anyone pointing out unfairness or issues in the benefits system (including benefit fraud) is told to shut up usually with some shitty line like you're just jealous and think nobody should have anything else in life because you've chosen not to make something of yourself. Or so what if your neighbour is driving flash cars and holidaying lots due to doing lots of cash in hand work (and defrauding the taxpayer), it's none of your business OP. Why don't you start looking at your own life instead of comparing?

There's one at the moment where a single mum is paying through the roof on private ren't whilst someone they know earns £65k, has lots of holidays and is saving a substantial house deposit because they've inherited a council tenancy.
Some of the replies are awful. It's all Maybe improve your own life chances OP. OH so people in council houses should be poor? What you don't realise isbthem doing this is actually good for local housing as when they buy the house will become available? I'm sure the son would rather have his parent alive but sure you mope about tenancies.

What winds me up the most on here is the pretend aibus. As if they didnt already know they were not being unreasonable:

Op: I just saw a man get runover and the car drove away. Was i being unreasonble to call 999 and report it?

Only on MN do you get people who live 2-3 months in the future.... getting into Halloween spirit in August, and Christmas presents all bought and wrapped by October.

MarthaArthur agreed, but you never know which way the wind is blowing. It could so easily have been;

Op: I just saw a man get runover and the car drove away. Was i being unreasonble to call 999 and report it?

Poster 1: do you always get involved in other people's problems?

Poster 2: personally, I would have flagged the driver down and invited them in for a hot drink. Do you not think the situation was stressful enough for them without you calling the police?

Poster 3: YWBVU. It's no wonder the emergency services are over stretched.

Poster 4: If I was run over l would want to decide for myself if I called the police! You should have minded your own business

Poster 4: it's × time of the day. Why were you near a road? Don't you work?

I couldn't be bothered clicking on it but saw earlier a thread titled "AIBU to think spitting is disgusting?" Who in their right mind would disagree? What a totally pointless question.

PaulRudd, there is probably someone on there who says they have to spit for medical reasons or who has a child who has a need which means they have to spit frequently or because they read an article in some new age magazine that it’s the best way to rid the body of toxins or something 🙄.

raviolidreaming
Haha! I love those replies.

The one amusing me over the last few months (happened to me and I think a couple of other posters) is reply to thread about an issue, someone turns up and says 'omg as if you're meant to be a teacher' as if my occupation has anything whatsoever to do with my personal feelings about working patterns, the environment or whether you should have a tumble drier.

WatchedTooMuchBrookside
I have so say my response was spitting is disgusting, but I have absolutely done a tactical glug of water and spit to a verge when I've inhaled flies whilst running. It's the easiest way to prevent decomposing bugs in my mouth. It does feel horribly disgusting to do though and I always end up doing some awkward gesture if there's anyone around just to make sure the random stranger realises I'm not a scruffy person with no manners.

ravioli yabu obvs

For some reason the phrase "I would have a quiet word op" (usually with a teacher) turns up here with tedious regularity, it really, really gets on my nerves. Like that's going to resolve everything. Urgh.

In RL people occasionally ask their friends for a favour. On MN only psychopathic narcissists with egos the size of Jupiter would dare ask to borrow a cup of sugar.

Yep. Everyone on MN knows a narcissist despite that not being a common diagnosis. Everyone has an evil mil as well.

Or someone suspects their husband of cheating and checks his phone and people go mad telling the op what a disgusting person she is for breaching his privacy.

PaulRuddislush
Though if the option is 'have a quiet word with the teacher' vs the usual 'I'm absolutely FURIOUSLY RAGING and am going to demand a meeting with the head to complain about some trivial issue' then the phrase can stay.

Asking for cash as a wedding gift - many people I know have done this or requested a gift voucher and nobody batted an eyelid.

Mums bring seem naked by their kids - on here it's either all the time or shameful. Peoplei knows children will use the bathroom if parent is in the shower or may walk past their bedroom when door is open etc and it's perfectly normal.

The sheer level of vitriol to stepmums - unless she's horrible most people have an ok relationship with their stepmom or their ex partners new partner.

Oh and yes any bad behaviour from a child before the second page autism is mentioned as if every second child has it.

NotAnotherNoughtiesTune, either that or you get some account of some flabbergastingly awful/stalkerish/offensive behaviour from someone and you get “sounds like they could be on the spectrum, hun” as if everyone who has autism is a complete dick, incapable of behaving in a non-offensive way. Or you get “are they from another culture? Is English their first language?” “This isn’t considered rude in Poland/Sweden?” “Are they Muslim?”

The poor OP of Softzilla had about 20 pages of people asking if SZ was “on the spectrum” or “from Eastern Europe” and repeatedly had to say no. Then someone wouldn’t RTFT so it would all start up again, “This sounds like an individual I know with aspergers? Do you think this is the case OP”, “Yes, I was just thinking Aspergers too!” “Actually she reminds me of my Eastern European Co-Worker” “I’d agree with a PP, is she Eastern European OP?”

It was like bloody Groundhog Day.

They can’t possibly be a total and complete asshat, they must be autistic or foreign because everyone autistic or foreign can’t be anything else than a complete asshat.

Incredibly offensive but common Mumsnet attitude.

IRL people don't mind calling kids names (not to their faces but to other people in confidence) it you can't do that on MN because there never was ever a child who was anything but 100% sweet and innocent.

Example:
"My 6yo son has been bullied by a 10yo in his school for a year now. This boy punches him every day, he has broken his wrist, calls him racist words and the little shit even scalped him last week. His mother has asked my son over for a play date as my son is friends with bully's younger brother. WIBU to say no and tell her why?"

Real life answer:
"Fuck no what a little bastard, I'd be kicking him on the sly at pick up and drop off"

MN answer:
"I can't believe you have called him a little shit are you always abusive towards small boys OP?"