Only on MN ...

[cathf]

Not a TAAT as such, but inspired by a response on a thread running at the moment.
It got me thinking of the differences between MN and my RL friends and acquaintances, and things that are accepted wisdom on MN that no-one I know in real life cares about at all.
I will start off:

1. Little girls who wear pink clothing, and gendered clothing in general;
2. Scented sanitary towels;
3. Fruit Shoots
4. People cuddling/touching/talking to your child;

The amount of threads and angst over these topics is staggering, yet no-one I know would even think any of the above were worth discussing, never mind getting worked up about. Anymore?

Only on MN:
.
Chav is an abusive evil word and the violent track suit clad yobs should never be called it because its awful.

The weird archaic use of words to get offended by, ie, hysterical, idiot, moron. These things changed meaning and usage decades ago. In fact most changed meaning long before posters were ever born so they have never lived in a world where the words meant what they used to.

No one ever gets angry and shouts or threatens to slap their child.

Sanitary towels are scented and actually burn and leave them in agony for months.

Competative jealous parenting. There was one thread where someone claimed her 5 year old had read order of the phoenix and someone basically shot her down and implied all kids could read it well before age 5.

Oh and different names on birth certificates.

Op: we like Janet for a girl but are thinking about putting Susan on the bc...

@MarthaArthur
Oh and different names on birth certificates.

Op: we like Janet for a girl but are thinking about putting Susan on the bc...

Completely agree. If you're not happy enough with the name you chose to use in everyday life, then don't choose it.
Also, I think someone else suggested the ones where parents choose a name and the nickname. The thing about nicknames is that they evolve for different reasons - the reason the Queen is known as Lilibet to her close family, is, I believe, because that's what she called herself as a young child, before she could say Elizabeth. I certainly don't think her parents chose it as a nickname before the child was even born!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER - How do such people ever manage anything as messy as have sex? Do they have to give his willy a good going-over with Dettol and a Brillo pad first? OMG this made me properly laugh out loud!

I don't get this opinion that you should under no circumstances do your DP/DH's washing (or any other person over the age of 10 who lives in your house). Do people really do all their washing separately? Is it not easier for it all to go in together?

Kindly pass the brillo pad over here please, raspberry, I am suffering badly from scented san-pro itch.

The attitude that if you can't/don't drive (unless for specific medical conditions) then you might as well just give up on life right now,not to mention the fact that you are a lazy,lift scrounging nuisance.

Agree about the not driving thing. I don't (sat and failed 5 times) and have no money or desire to put myself through that ever again. I live in Edinburgh so there's very little need to drive anywhere anyway. According to MN though I'm a terrible person for not mastering this life skill.
Learning to drive is incredibly expensive too but that's conveniently glossed over on here.

There was one thread where someone claimed her 5 year old had read order of the phoenix and someone basically shot her down and implied all kids could read it well before age 5.

That's gold.

@CoughLaughFart the number of people who claim to never answer their front door under any circumstances whatsoever, unless it is a formal prebooked appointment amazes me.

Do people really start shouting out of bedroom windows or sit in full view of the caller in lounges while blatantly ignoring the doorbell?! (Bollocks do they)

I like the fact that everyone on mn has 10 masters degrees and earns a six figure salary

Some of mumsnet makes perfect sense to me (ie scented sanitary towels seem like a terrible itchy idea, i’d rather not dress my toddler in just blue or sludge colours)

But otoh I don’t think some posters always realise how privileged they are (even when they are trying to help)...just little things like ‘let them play with some water in the garden’ when you live in a flat, or ‘why not go to your local ABC’ when it’s two bus rides away and you don’t drive.

People on MN phone the police to log the most mundane things like a dog looled at them funny in the street and it may find out where they live and pee on the kids.

No one must ever use A&E even literal broken bones are told not to go to A&E. The thread where that poor woman broke her foot and had to take her baby and child with her to hospital she was flamed and someone actually said "hospitals are not a place for children."

Anyone who is religious or believes in ghosts is ridiculed by people on here who dont have any actual argument other than "ive never seen one so you shouldnt be allowed to believe."

Everyone is rich af on here and things that are genuinely suggested on here a lot:
Learn to drive. (Apparently learning to drive and getting a car isnt expensive on MN)

Also just buy a new house and move.

I’m desperate for a mumsnet hack that reveals what hobbies are. I know enough people that I should be able to list 50: cycling, football, assorted crafts, choir ...
I’m desperate to know what the clearly exciting secret hobbies are! Not dogging though because anything that isn’t quiet missionary with the lights off for reproductive purposes is deviant behaviour.

@MarthaArthur on MN so much as glancing in the direction of a church or bible is "indoctrination". It's a bingo card word for many threads about Christianity, Jesus, worship in schools, bible stories given as presents, Noah's Ark toys, etc.

Placemarking

It does make me laugh. Especially when people point out very mn things and posters get offended and say "mn is a massive place everyone has theor own opinion." Like, nope there is still a collective hive mind goin on. Happens on all large forums.

Also mn thinks benefit fraud is ok and acceptable or the people on £65k in a council house is acceptable because they would do the same. The same idiots who claim not going back to a shop when ypu realise a shop keeper never scanned an item is theft.

My very first thread on here referenced my Christian beliefs and the vitriol and ridicule was disgusting. I was also accused of trolling and being a cult member, since being here a few weeks now I see it's the same long term posters attacking and ridiculing all the time. They must have lots of time on their hands and be spectacularly dissatisfied with life.

I thought of another one...move away from the south east...fine in theory but a lot of the time the OP has just said I can't move because I look after elderly DM/ my DC special school is here/ DM looks after the DC for free and nursery would be £2000 per month...

Oh yes, and the 'shoes on/off in the house' debate that's currently aflame elsewhere. Needless to say, moralising and class marking all over the place.

Anyone who is religious or believes in ghosts is ridiculed by people on here who dont have any actual argument other than "ive never seen one so you shouldnt be allowed to believe."

To be fair, those are not the arguments that people use.

This thread is awesome! Also I don’t know how to do italics somhere is a copy and paste from up thread “ From page one

Even thought the label says spring water and fruit juice hmm these MNers don't like to read labels on food do they

Actually I think most people with even half a brain would read that description with a healthy degree of scepticism.“

Ummm, I am Canadian so truly don’t know, but it’s law here that all true ingredients must be listed on the packaging and if not so it’s illegal. If the product has been around fo awhile wouldn’t I have been called out / tester for the ingredients? You surely must have similar? So it must actually have the ingredients listed?!? Our sketch juice that isn’t actually juice will list sugar as it’s first or second ingredient or list fructose or similar if it isn’t actually sugar but another similar ingredient that is just sweet filler that is over glorified sugar. In the US it’s typically corn syrup.

Ugh, so many errors! Sorry, my phone is being silly for some reason and having many issues. I hope you get my point despite the many grammatical and non-auto correct and typo issues😳

PaulRuddislush - I totally agree with you about the cost of learning to drive and the cost of buying,not to mention running,a car. Even if I had learned to drive years ago,I doubt whether my income these days would actually stretch to running a car. Yet people airily say 'Oh you should learn to drive',like it costs next to nothing. I live in greater London,so public transport really isn't a problem.