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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Woman walking into me deliberately

158 replies

Dontbersorude · 13/08/2018 11:45

Not sure what to make of this but, I was coming out of one of the main office entrances when I woman marched straight into me very aggressively and actually ended up hurting me. I was coming out but through the door.

I said as much to her and she went off on a bit of a tirade most of which I couldn’t make out but one would have thought she could be a little more apologetic after I told her she had hurt me.

Building security agreed it was all very odd as this sort of thing doesn’t happen here. Ever.

She doesn’t work in the building but all activity is monitored.

I suppose I’m a little shaken and upset at such agression from another woman so wondering if IAM to be so upset by her batshit behaviour.

OP posts:
hmcAsWas · 13/08/2018 17:22

I'm not confident that Mumsnet has any jurisdiction or authority over altercations in the street Hotblack, but they do have a talk board philosophy and guidelines. Hth

Kamma89 · 13/08/2018 17:23

@feistyoldbird your history sounds very traumatic. I'm sorry for it. I still don't think your reaction was reasonable, not on behalf of the bully but because you exposed yourself to potential danger. You've said you're physical impared and if he had been unhinged rather than just a twat you could have come off badly. I am a Londoner though so tend to think violent nutter over windup merchant every time!

haverhill · 13/08/2018 17:28

I’ve been reading this thread thinking Jesus, nothing like this has ever happened to me, then I remembered a girl shoving me really hard in the back at a gig. I nearly fell over. She did it again even harder, so I’m afraid we ended up fighting. I was very young, in my defence.

ScrambledSmegs · 13/08/2018 17:46

WellThisIsShit that poor woman Sad. The unthinking, everlasting cruelty of what that GI did is abhorrent.

FeralBeryl thank you, he did return to cycling when he’d healed, but it took a while for him to go back on the roads and he mostly cycles with friends these days in off-road conditions. It’s definitely affected him long-term.

Schadenfreude I know, he was only a metre or so away from hitting a metal road sign, he was lucky that he went down on soft ground. The scary thing is that I’ve done a quick google and this is far from an isolated incident. There are videos online of cyclists being shoved over (assaulted) by people in moving vehicles. One particularly awful one shows an elderly man being violently pushed off his bicycle, you can hear him screaming in fear while the bastards laugh and drive off Angry

LighthouseSouth · 13/08/2018 17:51

@FeistyOldBat

I hope we meet one day. You sound fab!

ALongHardWinter · 13/08/2018 18:12

I am disabled and use a walking stick,and I also walk very slowly. But I am astounded at the number of apparently able bodied people who just expect me to leap athletically out of their way,or walk in the road,or even squash myself into a hedge,because they insist on walking straight at me.
I think the worst incident that happened to me involved not a pedestrian but a cyclist. I was walking along a fairly wide pavement,slightly over to the left as I was going to turn left into a garage forecourt to go in the Tesco Express. A cyclist drove up silently behind me,on the inside of me,just as I started turning left. He crashed into me and fell off his bike. I was unhurt,thanks mainly to the fact that I'm fat pretty solidly built. But he started shouting and swearing at me,saying that I had 'got in his way'. I asked him if he was OK (which was more than he deserved tbh) and pointed out that he was cycling on the pavement,so he was actually in the wrong. Secondly,he shouldn't have overtaken me on the inside,and thirdly he should take a bit more care and slow down when cycling past someone obviously slow and disabled.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 14/08/2018 16:23

Fourthly, he should have used his bell Winter

TrainsandDiggers · 14/08/2018 16:42

I had this in a swimming pool - I was swimming lengths and another woman decided she wanted the same path I was taking. I veered out of her way as she came towards me and as we passed she pinched my leg really hard! I couldn’t believe it!

Yoksha · 14/08/2018 16:51

I nearly got hit on a zebra with a 4x4 driver whilst crossing. He literally passed me a hairs breadth from my torso. I shouted at him "you effing stupid twat ". He heard me, drove to turn around and come back to have a go at me. I took my phone out. Switched to video cam. Just at that that moment he wound the passenger window down, leant forward, and I said "go on then, I'm sure the police would be interested in what you had to say in response to your total lack of care. I've got your reg number too. So go on then". He drove off. I was shaking. But felt better.

I'd do it again if I had to deal with other's twattery and my personal safety.

MissContrary · 14/08/2018 17:02

It's happened to me too. I was taking a picture of my kids, there was 5ft of space between us and a pedestrianised road behind me. It was one of the city trails with animals, I'm sure lots of people do pictures. Some woman walked right into me then had the nerve to moan about it. She wasn't so bloody confident when I yelled after her she only had to say excuse me Hmm

dstill1964 · 14/08/2018 17:42

I had a guy do this to me too . I wasn’t imagining it as he actually swerved to do it. Never saw him before and I don’t think he was quite the ticket

Nousernamefound · 14/08/2018 17:56

Do you think she was trying to pickpocket you?

KaliforniaDreamz · 14/08/2018 17:59

yoksha similar happened to me - was walking down street on pavement with my 2 young kids and i sensed a car was coming out of a long drive (a drive that allows flat dwellers to exit their car park - but there is no signage whatsoever) so i held onto my kids as this car pulls out really really fast, he stops as he's about to pull onto the road, i look at him with evil stare and he winds window down and shouts "sorry love" i responded "you shouldnt be driving so fast out of there you could've really hurt us" to which he replied
"I've got kids too i know about safety"
he pulls off and i continue to look at him and so he stops and reverses in street shouting "what? what is your problem?" etc etc

the AGGRESSION.

when he was the one nearly killing us.
i was shaking with anger. Mostly at how casually men can become aggressive towards women and kids.

FUCK THAT

nocoolnamesleft · 14/08/2018 18:00

Makes a change. Only had men do it to me.

ShumpaLumpa · 14/08/2018 18:04

Yoksha and for others standing up to these aggressive people mostly men - I salute you! Flowers

DagenhamRoundhouse · 14/08/2018 18:11

Mental health issues there, methinks.

KaliforniaDreamz · 14/08/2018 18:16

entitlement, methinks in some cases!

OliviaStabler · 14/08/2018 18:16

Most buildings have a reception where visitors sign in and you usually have to give the time and who you are seeing when you do that so I would get this investigated. Imagine if she was there for an interview and you could eventually be working in the same building as her.

NadiaLeon · 14/08/2018 18:23

What is wrong with some people

Quite.
Who knows?
Mental illness
Poor Manners
Bad news
etc

It distresses us when people do us wrong, and with good reason.
The skill is (which I have no way near perfected) to let it go.
Easier said then done....

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 14/08/2018 18:25

First thing I’d be checking I still had my security passes and valuables. Some people use barging to to divert attention when they pickpocket. If it wouldn’t overwhelm building security - or you know them well enough to just tip them the nod that something odd happened anyway - I would consider my duty to the safety of others in the workplace discharged. Then I’d try not to overthink it - but that’s easier said than done sometimes.

Yokatsu · 14/08/2018 18:31

I feel kinda sad reading this thread.

People aren't generally terribly aware of their surroundings, they do bump into people things etc. Especially if they themselves have SN.

I'm amazed how many people interpret this as an aggressive act that warrants an aggressive response.

ChimesAtMidnight · 14/08/2018 18:38

Nearly fifty years ago, I was walking in Victoria Street London in my lunch hour. It was summer and I was wearing a blue and yellow seersucker dress. Suddenly, I felt a massive thump in my lower back..... a man had come up behind me and kicked me...
I have no idea why, and only know what actually happened because a few people witnessed it and rushed over to ask if I was OK. There are some disturbed people about.

Kittycatkin · 14/08/2018 18:40

i used keep 4 cats and shopped for them every week at the local Walking back one Friday with 12 tins of cat food a man approached me coming from the opposite direction, he must have had a really bad day and decided to take it out on me. He barged into me and kicked me on the side of the knee, cat food tins went flying. Man In the local deli on the other side of the road saw everything and called the police , he identified the man who was caught and fined £25 which was sent to me, I treated myself to something really nice but my knee still hurts, years later. I was paranoid for ages in case he spotted me.

ohtheholidays · 14/08/2018 19:06

I had this today but it was more sexual harrasment.

My DH had gone to the car with our DD10(she's disabled and was tired)I'd popped into a shop on my own and 2 guys were following me(they were calling out and shouting,I didn't realize at me)the bastards followed me into the shop and blocked me in between the 2 of them and wouldn't move out of the way and tried to talk at me,I have zero fucking tollerance for anyone's shit so to have 2 knobheads follow me,walk into me on purpose and then try to stop me from moving they're lucky they both left the shop with they're bollocks!

I gave them the look and said don't even fucking think about it very loudly,they got out of my way but they still stood hiding down one of the aisles(fucking prats)I saw them again and told them to fuck off and they did,they walked out of the shop empty handed.

I've had to put up with this shit since I was an 11 year old girl and now I'm 43 seriously ill and disabled I'm still having to deal with this shit!

Goth237 · 14/08/2018 19:07

She was rude and YANBU. What an awful woman. I purposely walked into a man next to the bus stop because he was, very inconsiderately, taking up the pavement while talking to a woman. He had this huge bag and I decided to walk into him, which made him move out of the way. I have no regrets over doing that because he was the twat. But, in your case, she sounds like a bitch.