Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tipping is not the done thing.

546 replies

Lyndaishistory · 10/08/2018 20:01

You are not expected to tip in the UK! I'm not sure why some people think otherwise.
I would only tip if service was above and beyond but it is not an expectation and I wouldn't "cave" if it was crap service.

Husband and I had a rubbish meal at a well known resturant chain for our anniversary. I complained at the time but nothing was done about it.
Left husband to pay the bill and he tipped them. Bloody hell, I want my fiver back!
Seriously considering LTB over this.

OP posts:
MarthaArthur · 11/08/2018 22:29

Do people tip cafe staff? Never seen it. Whats the difference between that an restaurant staff?

Waiting staff are not paid less than any other min wage job so im not sure why people keep using their pay as a reason for tipping?

user1457017537 · 11/08/2018 22:30

Of course people tip in cafes.

MarthaArthur · 11/08/2018 22:37

I have never seen anyone tip in a cafe and I have been in loads. Order at the till pay go and sit and wait for food. Never seen anyone tip extra when paying for service thats not yet taken place.

Usa tipping makes sense because of how badly the wait staff are paid. But no one has yet to explain why minimum wage for wait staff is somehow worse than minimum wage shop assistants or care assistants or receptionists or cleaners.

I'm not against tipping. I just dont understand why some sectors it is seen as the done thing when others its not when they earn the same money and their job is no worse/harder than the others.

user1457017537 · 11/08/2018 22:40

It depends on the cafe. M&S where your lucky to get a seat maybe not. Local cafe or tea rooms or builders cafe yes I’ve seen people leave a tip.

MarthaArthur · 11/08/2018 22:42

Ah that makes sense then. I just live in hope of a utopia where everyone gets a decent wage and tipping will be obsolete because of it.

lexer · 11/08/2018 22:51

what@tinstar said. It is patronising. I hate it. I still sometimes feel "forced" to do it.

I NEVER do it when it's an added "optional service charge". I ask them to take that off and I leave my own tip.

rainbowsandsmiles · 11/08/2018 23:07

I have never seen anyone tip in a cafe and I have been in loads.

Same.

Buswankeress · 11/08/2018 23:09

I have never worked anywhere, or indeed eaten anywhere where the service charge was added to the bill separately, optional or not.

Possibly not posh enough to do so Grin

But, how does this work in practice? The wage of the wait staff, kitchen staff etc are factored in to the cost of the meal, no one won't get paid if you don't pay an optional service charge. However, if you pay the optional service charge, does that go into tips for the staff as you actually handing them a tip would? I have never come across this in my time in hospitality.

Also, again, never worked anywhere that did this, but I have heard of places that if you leave a tip by card payment, so round up a £55 bill to £60, with the intention of the £5 being a tip, the company can withhold any monies paid by card because legally it belongs to them. It's something along the lines of you are asked to pay £55 for your meal and service, if you pay £60 that is your choice? I don't know how true this is though.

ccmms · 11/08/2018 23:22

Havent rtft but I rarely tip in the UK. We have minimum wage so there is no need. Do people really tip everyone they encounter on minimum/low wage? Plus there is no guarantee of tips actually going to said member of staff or straight into the companys pocket. US is different where in some states they dont have minimum wage to workers rely on tips to make a living wage. Which imo is disgraceful, but not the fault of the worker.

sandyoh · 11/08/2018 23:29

Haven't read the thread but we tip if the service is good and read the receipt regarding service charge.
I tip the hairdresser as she's bloody excellent. I'd tip my nurse if I could. I buy her flowers every so often.

2up2manydown · 12/08/2018 00:15

Also, a lot of chain restaurants have adopted living wage now not NMW.

Aridane · 12/08/2018 01:42

. If you are too mean to tip then stay at home and count your pennies.

Yawn

sweetsomethings · 12/08/2018 01:48

Don’t think I have seen anyone tip in cafes either tbf. I do see they have a tip jar in Starbucks but it seems to be full of pennies .

Original poster
Lyndaishistory · 12/08/2018 07:41

Oh dear... Maybe where I eat out isn't "high end" or posh enough. If all employees in a posh resturant vs a non posh resturant earn minimum wage then I really don't see the difference.
I've had jobs where I've been paid the same as others but felt I've worked harder or gave more to the role. It's such an odd concept to expect a tip when you get paid anyway.

OP posts:
AlexanderHamilton · 12/08/2018 07:51

I don’t tip unless I’ve received exceptional service.

I’ve only ever come across the service charge in London & I do try & avoid places that add it on. When we eat out we budget carefully, often going for the cheaper options/deals.

AlexanderHamilton · 12/08/2018 07:52

Bus - usually the card machine asks if you want to leave a gratuity & you key in the amount.

Jackieyoulooknice · 12/08/2018 07:56

I am worrying now as I don't top my hairdresser, but my hair costs me about 135 every 8 weeks so I feel like that's expensive enough. Also I pay by card so how would I tip? Eeek.

JohnnyKarate · 12/08/2018 08:07

I worked in the service industry for many years and never once expected a tip. I was always grateful to get one but didn't begrudge anyone who didn't give me one.

Although, it was far more common for people not to give us a tip, than it was to get one. I worked in North Yorkshire in various locations with tourists from all over the UK so had a good mix of people.

I do tip now when I've had good service and definitely when they've had to deal with a group because it's stressful, because I know how nice it feels to be acknowledged for your effort. I don't tip bad or mediocre service though.

CurlyTwirlyTwos · 12/08/2018 08:09

I and everyone I know ALWAYS tip, even a £1 for Uber. I don’t earn loads of money myself, but think it’s courteous. I’m quite shocked OP.

In your regular bars and restaurants you might find you you get friendlier service! Or your nail lady might take more care of you? As they might give you a little extra time and effort than what their ‘normal’ pay allows them than ‘just doing their job’.

And I’m in the UK too....never been to America where I’ve heard tipping is actually essential....

Original poster
Lyndaishistory · 12/08/2018 08:24

I’m quite shocked OP.

Ok. I wouldn't have said it was shocking but there you go. I was more annoyed with my DH for tipping crap service.

In your regular bars and restaurants you might find you you get friendlier service! Or your nail lady might take more care of you? As they might give you a little extra time and effort than what their ‘normal’ pay allows them than ‘just doing their job’.

I'm quite happy to recieve the service that they get paid to do. I'm not paying extra in the hope thye might be a little nicer to me (after the event?!), that's rediculous. I don't thing you should have to pay extra for good manners. That should be standard and taught during staff training.
Just to reiterate, I do usually tip. I just don't like the expectation in some places that I have to.

@CurlyTwirlyTwos read the whole thread, there are some really interesting responses from both sides.

OP posts:
Smellbellina · 12/08/2018 08:48

Oh I feel awful about my lack of tipping now. When I was little we never ate out, I had my first meal in an Indian restaurant at 17! So tipping wasn’t modelled to me as my parents couldn’t afford a meal out for us all anyway.
At uni everyone tipped but we’d end up leaving £20-30 between us which seemed a bit ott?
Now, I tip in a restaurant if I have the cash (which I often haven’t, I must remember to make sure I have some!) I never even think to check for a service charge.
Are you supposed to tip in places like Harvesters, or tea rooms or coffee shops? I never tip my hairdresser either, I know her anyway and it would feel really uncomfortable, am I being a tightwad? Blush

AlexanderHamilton · 12/08/2018 08:58

your regular bars and restaurants you might find you you get friendlier service! Or your nail lady might take more care of you? As they might give you a little extra time and effort than what their ‘normal’ pay allows them than ‘just doing their job’.

When I eat out we are usually on holiday or on a day trip or just recently we’ve had to eat out more due to medical appointments in a different city. I certainly don’t have a “nail lady” & I get my hair cut as & when I have chance usually by walking into somewhere like Supercuts on spec (costs about £30 every 6-8 weeks)

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/08/2018 08:59

CurlyTwinkleToes and that, that right there is why tipping should be done away with and the hospitality industry shaken up if that's required.

I do not want more 'sparkly' waiting staff because they're anticipating a tip. I expect them to treat me and all other patrons with respect, do their jobs. The thought of them being 'friendlier' for a tip is a bit disgusting to me. I've experienced waiting staff being extremely perfunctory - up until the point at which they bring the bill when they then perk up. No, no, no, no, no.

NMW covers nursing staff too and I'd be tipping them every day of the week if I could. They deserve it. Carers deserve it. They can't get tips.

I'm happy to tip well for excellence waiting service but for bog standard - hell no. I won't treat them in any way but friendly and respectful myself but I won't patronise them with shrapnel for doing their jobs. If they really have made my experience great then I'll tip well and also make their manager aware.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 12/08/2018 09:08

As for a 'nail lady' (so patronising, urgh), when I have my nails done, the nail technician does her usual perfect job, takes time and care. At that point she doesn't know if she's getting a tip or not - and the job is perfect. What else would she do to extract more money?

I do tip her, she's a specialist and brilliant at her work.

If she started not putting on cuticle oil or smudging and not removing excess polish I'd think she were ill - not sulking about a tip. She's exactly the same with every other client and I don't think that many tip as the charges are quite high.

Same with my hairdresser - she's part of a chain - does an amazing job taming and cutting my chicken-feather hair - with or without a tip. Sometimes I don't have change - but I do, very occasionally, take in nice soaps for her in a fragrance we both love.

I think, CurlyTwinkleToes that your view of waiting staff is quite dismissive of those that do an excellent job regardless and doing a disservice to them. Some people - not all - but I'd say most - do the job to the best of their abilities for personal satisfaction. Not to get a pat on the head 'tip'.

OliviaStabler · 12/08/2018 09:09

@LyingWitchInTheWardrobe

So if you went to a restaurant that automatically added a service charge, would you ask for it to be removed? Or would you ensure that you never ate at a restaurant that did that?

Swipe left for the next trending thread