To think funerals are outrageously expensive?

[crunchymint]

I have been shocked when organising a funeral at how expensive they are. Even a basic cremation with no service costs a £1000. A very ordinary funeral will cost about £3,000. It is a lot of money.

A family friends father died last year and they had no money for the funeral. They were all living month to month on average to low paid jobs, lots of young kids as the father died relatively young himself in his 50s.

The mother asked if anyone could donate money to the funeral fund rather than send flowers. Well you would think she asked for the shirts off their backs the response was so bad.

People gossiping to say they would rather give the money to charity as asking for funeral donations just wasn't done. These people would rather a good man had no funeral than help his family out.

In the end he had basic cremation with no family or friends present, and no wake.

In my experience people who die do not leave behind sufficient funds for a funeral. I come from a poor Scottish housing scheme background and I remember my dad paying towards my godfathers wake with a provident loan.

I think I've read that there's plans to discharge any fee for a child's burial or cremation? This should absolutely be done.
It's a little help at a terrible time.

Cremation fees for anyone over 16 where I live - currently £828. Under 16s £258, under 1s are £130, newborns are £62.

If you want a box and to keep the ashes or strew them somewhere else there is another £18-48 for a container or urn. If you want the cremated remains buried in a graveyard there is a £288 fee, or if you want a cremation plot in a graveyard another £712.

All burials are more expensive, so if price is the thing, its cremation.

There are further fees for doctors certificates, and extra fees if you want to be cremated later on in the day (after 3pm) or if you want to be scattered on a Saturday. Or if your forms aren’t submitted correctly. And so on....

As I said all the way along - and was ignored - they are the actual crem costs - it doesn't cost 600 quid more to fire up the furnaces once you've turned 18.

sometimes I don't know why I bother taking minutes at meetings

I think funeral directors to an extent prey on the attitude upthread; if you loved them you shouldn’t begrudge the cost.

I would be mortified if anyone suffered any degree of financial hardship in order to “give me a good send off”. Chuck me in the tip and have a few beers down the pub as far as I’m concerned. Sadly many families can’t even afford to plan for a funeral, let alone pay for an unexpected one.

Basic costs are the cremation fee, the death certificate fee and the Drs fee if the person has not seen a Dr within 7 days before death. This is the absolute minimum that needs paid and does not cover storage of body or transport of body to crematorium.

@NewYearNewMe18 the costs do go up once you are over 18. Taken from the crematorium website

Fees for Eltham Crematorium services
The following are the fees and charges for services at the crematorium.

Cremation fees
Cremation fees are VAT-exempt:

Cremation fees - 1 April 2018 to 31 March 2019
Type of cremation Cost
Adult, 45 minute service, 10am to 4.15pm £687
Adult, 30 minute service, 9am to 9.45am £648
Child (six to 17 years - Resident of Royal Greenwich, Bexley or Dartford) No charge
Child (six to 17 years - Non-resident) £37
Child (up to five years) No charge

Are you allowed to just put your dead loved one in your car and take them to the crem? People have said just take me to the crem etc but don't you still have to pay for the docs cert and someone official to put the body in box and transport them? Are there not laws? I am genuinely asking.

@NewYearNewMe18 You're being ignored because you're posting nonsense. You've quoted the old fee for child cremation, not the cost. It's quite possible that the fee was subsidised, after all there's no fee now but that doesn't make the cost zero.

If you want to find out the actual cost of cremation then please do let us know once you have. It will be interesting to know.

NewYear they are the actual crem costs

That really doesn’t follow - you can’t extrapolate that.

It’s like saying the actual cost of a cup of tea in a cafe is the cost of the tea bag and water.

They’ll have had a really low child fee because of other reasons.

Whenever those adverts are on tv about the cost of funerals and ..ooh take up this insurance...I just find myself internally screaming, well make them cheaper then.

DH's cost £3,000 18 years ago, we had the notice in tow papers and one was twice the price of the other

'But if you want to put your dearly beloved in a cardboard box, pop it in the back of your hatchback and lug them into the crem, then no one would stop you.'

Blimey I might start saving all my posh gift boxes and glueing em' end to end.

A funeral is the very last thing you can do for a loved one and I did everything I could possibly do for my forever 10 year old son who passed away on 2nd January.

He had a lightning McQueen coffin and matching casket for his ashes. All in all, funeral, order of service, photos shown during service, hearse, two family cars, flowers, headstone with kerb side....it cost around £8000 and that was with a discount.

I don't begrudge a single penny I spent on my beautiful brave boy send off.

Just a note that basic costs ie not including things such as flowers or mourners cars can be paid out of the deceased estate before probate is given ie you don't have to pay all up front or the family pay entirely out of their resources if the probate procedure has barely been started at the time of a funeral.

(I know this isn't helpful if there aren't cash assets in the estate but is a helpful tip if there are some.)

'Are you allowed to just put your dead loved one in your car'

Seriously

I hear you, OP.

I don’t think funerals are ‘bad value’, when you look at the number of services, people and elements included, but the costs can be out of reach for many people.

It must be very, very sad if your grief is exacerbated by the feeling of not being able to ‘do right’ by your loved one.

If you receive certain benefits, you can get Government help with paying towards funeral expenses - www.gov.uk/funeral-payments

You can also get bereavement allowance, or whatever it's called, if you were a spouse or civil partner.

Muddling - that sounds perfect ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Muddling - Dear God, I am so so sorry for your loss, I have no words, what a horrific thing for you to have to do

"Are you allowed to just put your dead loved one in your car and take them to the crem?"

Even if you are, how many people would want to do it?

I'm sure that there are lots of things that don't have to be paid for though-rather like a wedding if just the "legalities" are done.

Muddling

Thank you bbc

Thank you ruby and martha.

Deb Yes you can transport your loved one yourself.
The costs I quoted locally do not include any service at all. You pay extra for that.

And of course some people will want to spend a lot for the kind of funeral they want. That is fine.

diddl Just the legalities cost just under £1k where I live.

My DH has said he doesn't care about funeral/burial/cremation, he can be put on the compost heap as far as he is concerned. Or buried in the garden -- you can bury someonein your garden as long as it's a certain distance from a house or water course. (Although it might be difficult to sell the house afterwards!)
BUT he is very concerned indeed that I give him a good 'send-off' afterwards with no expense to be spared on the wake. (Irish background) He just wants everyone to have a bloody good time. Fair enough.